


Shattered Visions

by Mearbear



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Drama, Fluff, M/M, Memory Loss, Poor Life Choices, Rehabilitation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2020-12-27 01:54:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 64,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21110768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mearbear/pseuds/Mearbear
Summary: Slade and Dick are engaged to be married however, after a major incident Dick loses his memories. Nightwing is dead and Dick is struggling to figure out who he is. Anger, pain, and resentment begin to blind him to what's really important to him and there's only one person who can get his life back on track." Blood, skull and what had to have been brain matter spreading along the ground and nearby wall. Spreading across the concrete at an alarming rate. A bullet passed through Slade's chest, he didn't even feel it. When Slade came back to himself he was next to Dick, picking him up and quickly realizing that, somehow ... Dick was alive."Enjoy this work put together by me and Sirdomme, Co-creator of Dystopia.





	1. Chapter 1

Usually, Slade didn't meddle in Gotham's affairs. Batman breathing down his neck wasn't something he wanted nor needed. Today had been an exception.

At 11:30 p.m. the Bat Clan had pulled off a giant coordinated effort across Gotham city to put one of the largest heroin distributors behind bars. They also managed to confiscate their goods at three separate warehouses. The seize included a total of ninety-eight pounds of heroin, seventy-five pounds of crystal meth, various amounts of methamphetamine's, six-hundred thousand dollars in cash, and forty-eight unregistered assault weapons.

The four locations required the team to be separated into groups. Tim, Cassandra, Harper, and Stephanie took on the large distribution center. Bruce and Damian, of course, handled the actual seize of the distributor. Kate, Duke, and Barbara on warehouse number two. Which left Jason and Dick on the third warehouse. 

Problem was: Jason was sick. Not the kind of snotty-nose, take a dayquil, and suck it up sick. No, more like a violently vomiting, sleeping by the toilet kind of sick. Apparently, both Jason and Lian had it. So, when Dick had asked Roy to sub in for Jason he had laughed and made some comment about 'barely surviving' his current situation.

It had been last minute, but Slade offered to help. He didn't want Nightwing to go in without backup, and altering the other teams would have shifted months of planning and work. Bruce had barely agreed, but as always, firmly set a no killing rule.

Slade was proud to say that he and Dick together had cleared their building first in under ten minutes. They incapacitated fifteen armed men, made the seize of forty assault weapons, and various documents suggesting larger orders coming into Gotham's ports later that month. 

Dick was finishing his conversation with the police officers while Slade waited a block or so away at their car. Deathstroke and law enforcement never mixed well, even if it was for a good cause. 

"You almost done over there, handsome?"

Slade asked over the com system, smiling a little when he heard Damian radio in just to give a sound of disgust.

Dick couldn't help but to get a small smile on his face. It made the officer shoot him an odd look but he couldn't help it, he was a sucker for Slade and tonight had gone beautifully. Typically, Dick tried not to work with Deathstroke for a couple reasons. The first being that he didn't want to bring down Slade's reputation. He wanted people to see the big bad Deathstroke as a force to be reckoned with, not some softie hero. And second? While Dick and Slade made agreements around using deadly force, meaning Slade wasn't to kill in Dick's presence, Dick felt like the more they worked together the more Slade had to suppress who he was. Now, Dick knew in this case Slade didn't care if these people walked out alive because they weren't some of Gotham’s worst monsters. Still, Dick had to admit that working with Slade always filled him with excitement. A thrill of fighting out on the floor with someone. Watching Slade plow through these people like nothing. It was both sexy and exhilarating. 

"Anything else you need from me?" Nightwing asked the officer who finished writing in his notebook.

"Nope, I got everything. Stay safe out there." The officer commented before Dick salute him.

"Trust me, I'd get in trouble if I didn't." He grappled to a rooftop and was off into the night. 

"I'm heading over now, baby." Dick finally radioed back to Slade. Usually he tried not flirting on an open comlink but Slade had a way of bringing that side out of him. 

Soon, Dick climbed down a fire escape and quietly approached Slade from behind. Deathstroke was an assassin, Dick figured the other knew he was there but that didn't stop him from trying, even if it risked him getting popped in the face. Once close enough, Nightwing grabbed Slade's waist abruptly and gave him a firm squeeze. Something of a 'boo' came out of him before his arms wrapped around Slade's middle and he stood holding him from behind.

Slade smiled at the 'attack', feigning surprise by flinching, and then turning around in the grasp while at the same time shifting their footing next to the car. Slade pushed Dick down against the hood of the car, hands on either side of his head.

The movement was followed up by a firm, playful kiss. It wasn't long, but just long enough for Slade to toe the line between simple PDA and for-the-bedroom-only. He pulled up, still looking down at Dick with an amused smile on his face. 

"Be careful, if you sneak up on an old man like that you might give him a heart attack."

"I thought the big bad mercenary didn't get startled." Dick taunted before squeezing Slade's waist. "I love you." He said with a blissful sigh, staring into Slade's eye. 

He leaned in close and pressed his body against the others, before whispering in his ear. "I can't wait to get you in bed."

"I don't see why we need to wait for a bed." Slade offered suggestively, kissing Dick's cheeke. If it was up to Slade, he'd take him over the hood of his car right now. 

"I love you too," He said next, letting the lust drop out of his voice to express the true emotion behind that statement. 

He was trying to be better about showing affection and love in ways that weren't physical. There was an important reason for that too. 

"One more week." Slade reminded Dick almost randomly. "I realized that at midnight ... Seven days is all that separates the two of us from a lifetime commitment. Nervous?"

Dick’s lips spread into an even wider smile, a jolt of excitement burning inside of him as he gave a happy little hop. 

"Nervous?! No! Im freaking excited." He playfully punched Slade's shoulder. "Okay, maybe a _ little _ nervous. Bruce is... Not satisfied with us getting married but he still agreed to come so... I'm just hoping he doesn't bail and that someone doesn't crash it...." Dick paused, "But even if they do? I'm signing those papers." 

"I've expected all of that and more since I asked you." Slade answered honestly, chuckling a little to himself. 

It was frustrating that the Bat Clan couldn't have any _ semblance _ of a 'normal' gathering. None of the holidays could be celebrated on their actual dates thanks to Joker or some other psychopath deciding the holiday would be the perfect time to do something nasty and/or ironic. Marriages, funerals, births, even _ baby showers _ weren't normal. There was always an excessive amount of drama like assassination attempts or people coming back from the dead.

So, when he said that he had expected that and more ... He meant it. Dick's long lost brother could show up, there could be a plot twist that Adeline was still alive. Slade had thought through a thousand worst case scenarios before he even _ asked _ Dick to marry him… And maybe that's why it took so long.

"Like I've said before, Kid, when I decided I wanted to marry you I also-" He heard a metallic sliding sound, then a sharp clink that echoed in the alley behind them. 

For a millisecond, Slade thought about how there was no possible way this was going to end well. Slade grabbed Dick and rolled them over the hood of the car until they were up against the driver side door. 

Two shots rang out above their heads ... Right where they'd just been standing. 

"Tsk, tsk. Deathstroke, you're off your game." The man spoke in a thick Russian accent, appearing from the alleyway, gun still in hand. 

Slade peered through the driver's side window to look at the man and immediately cursed. This definitely wasn't going to end well. Nightwing peaked under the car, counting the feet he saw before looking at Slade. 

"We can take them." He whispered, heart starting to race as he got the rush of adrenaline. "No kill shots." 

"None?" Slade asked and let out a short sigh almost like a disappointed teenager. 

This man had sought Slade out and fired the first shots. It was times like these he had a very hard time understanding his fiance's point of view.

Nightwing dug around his gauntlet before drawing out the tiniest metal ball. 

Dick squeezed it between his fingers causing a small crack sound to escape it before smoke began pouring out of it. Nightwing then threw it over the hood of the car using it as a smoke screen to provide them some cover before he moved towards the back of the vehicle. 

Dick leapt over the trunk, escrima stick in hand before he threw it hitting one of the crooks in the head. Gunfire followed suit and yet, there Nightwing was, gracefully jumping and flipping through the air.

"I know sharing is caring but typically people _ aren't _ referring to bullets." He said as he kicked the legs out from under one crook before rolling to the side, a bullet grazing his arm.

Slade moved around the front of the car, unclipping his ballistic staff. He spun the item in his hand to extend its full length at his side. Dick was distracting most of the men, and the smoke was blinding the rest, so cheap shots were easy. One across the head with the staff. The second's legs kicked out from under him with a finishing blow to his forehead. The third was their man of the day.

"You know this ends only two ways." Slade said, positioning himself closer to Dick, but not taking his eyes off of the man in front of him. 

"Spare me the heroic lines, Deathstroke ... They don't suit you." The man spoke, aiming his pistol at Slade. "How many bullets would I have to shoot you with to kill you?"

Slade smirked, "More than you have in that gun." He promised, hitting an incoming thug with his staff square in the face without so much as having to look. "Petya wasn't it? Russia, 1980s?"

"Hm. That's what I suspected." Petya replied, scowling. "Surprised you remember. Must be thousands of us whose families you ruined. Now? I've come to return the favor." 

The words clicked into place one tenth of a second after the first bullet was fired from Petya's gun, aimed directly at Dick, as were the second, third, and fourth.

Like a dancer, Dick got to work moving through the air making himself a harder target to hit. 

"Somebody’s training to become the next Storm Trooper." He antagonized, drawing some wingdings from his glove to throw towards the few remaining crooks. 

Other men opened fire and it got harder to dodge the bullets. One collided with Dicks leg throwing him off balance, another striking his shoulder making his landing falter, and finally a final bullet sprung from Petya's gun and into Dick’s head. Blackness instantly overtook the hero's vision as his body hit the ground. Blood, skull and what had to have been brain matter spreading along the ground and nearby wall.

Slade's eye widened to the size of saucers. Without even thinking, he shot Petya ... But it was too late. He saw Dick on the ground, blood spreading across the concrete at an alarming rate. A bullet passed through Slade's chest, he didn't even feel it. 

He couldn't feel anything but horrible, cold fear taking over his entire body. Slade hadn't felt this since finding Grant's dead body ... And with a gun wound like that. No... _ No _. 

Slade heard screaming, saw the world blur around him. Shots were fired, bodies dropped, he could hear muffled, panicked talking in his ear. He only realized later that the screaming had been his own. All of the men laid dead, Petya included, within the span of only a few moments. When Slade came back to himself he was next to Dick, picking him up and quickly realizing that, somehow ... Dick was _ alive _. 

Immediately, Slade refocused his fear and grief into saving Dick's life. He was _ going _ to save his life. 

Slade examined the wound and began covering it in gauze mostly to keep it clean from outside debris. He kept his head up from the ground on his lap, working on the other wounds in Dick's body. 

While all this was happening, Slade recognized the voice in his ear as Tim's. "Deathstroke? Please respond."

"Call a bus."

"What happened?"

"Nightwing has been shot, three times, once in his head."

There was a pause on the line before Tim responded back. "Is he alive?"

"Yes! Fucking call a bus!"

"Conscious?"

"Stop asking me questions kid and get help here!"

"We are fifteen minutes out." 

"Too long." Slade decided, picking Dick up and headed for the car. "Meet me at Gotham General. I'll be there in five."

"That's fifteen minutes away."

"_ I'll be there in five _."

"Roger." 

The line went silent.

Slade didn't waste a single second getting Dick to treatment. When they got to the hospital he didn't even pull up to the general intake, or turn the car off. He parked the car in the ambulance entrance and carried Dick in with his uniform still on. God ... He wished he had time to remove it, but there _ was no time _. 

A team of doctors and nurses swarmed him, taking Dick off his hands and yelling out different commands to each other. He happened to pick up the fact that they had been expecting his arrival, the work of Tim probably. They began wheeling Dick into a trauma suite, Slade went to follow when a woman stepped in front of him, a hand firm against his chest. 

"Woah there big guy." He recognized the voice, looking down a little he realized it was Doctor Thompkins. "You've got a lot of blood on you. You alright?"

"Fine. Meta." Slade said shortly, looking toward the room where Dick was now.

"Right, healing factor." Leslie said with a nod of her head. "Listen, Slade ... This situation is delicate. He's going to need surgery and you aren't going to be able to see him for a while." Leslie waited for a response from Slade, but got nothing but a ten yard stare from over her head. "I probably have something your ... Size around here you could change into. I'll need your weapons, this ER doesn't allow-"

"Is he going to make it?" Slade interrupted finally, looking down to Leslie who let out a heavy breath through his nose. 

"I don't know. Head wounds are complicated. He got here quickly though, so that increases his chances ... Slade, I'm sure you did everything you could." Leslie explained, Slade nodded his head once again. "I've been with Bruce and Dick since he was a kid ... Trust me when I say we are going to do anything and everything to save his life. He will get the best care possible, with no limitations. Between yourself and Bruce I'm sure you can figure out the bill." Slade gave Leslie a 'look'. "Right, probably not the best time for a joke."

Leslie was able to lead Slade away from the ER and back to her private office. There was a large sitting room connected to it fitted with two couches and a pair of armchairs. Leslie left briefly and came back with spare scrubs from the OR for Slade to change into that were powder blue in color. After Slade changed he looked like the largest, most intimidating nurse in the entire hospital. Leslie made sure to tell him this too ... Which ended up being another poorly timed joke. 

"The rest of the family is on the way, they know to wait in my office for news. Can I trust you all to get along while I tend to Dick?" Leslie asked, a serious look on her face.

"Of course." Slade wouldn't do a single thing to jeopardize his ability to stay near by, to hear how Dick was doing. He needed to be here for his own sanity. 

Leslie nodded and left the room. Slade sat in silence and just waited.

A pit was in Bruce's stomach, anger surging through him. He changed in the car while Alfred drove and before long made it to the hospital only to be escorted to Leslie's office. 

His heart was pounding in his ears but other wise his expression hid the worry he was feeling. 

"What happened?" 

He asked Slade accusingly the moment he was alone with him in the room. Alfred shot the male a look knowing full well that Bruce wanted to pin the blame on Slade.

Slade looked up from his lap, his elbows rested on his knees as he leaned over. Bruce may have it in him to hide how worried he was, but Slade didn't. He looked distraught, hand pushing through his hair as he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He composed himself enough to talk to Bruce, but he couldn't look at him.

"He was shot, three times. Once in the head, shoulder, and leg. I got him here as soon as I could." Slade explained, watching the floor down by his feet. "We had everything wrapped up, then we were shot at a few blocks down. Petya, a man looking for me from my past, he said he wanted revenge on me for what I did to him. Dick jumped out and was in the middle of it ... You can't stop him." 

Slade said in a way that he was sure Bruce would understand. If anyone knew how stubborn Nightwing could be it was Batman himself. "I didn't react soon enough and ... Dick didn't want me to kill anyone so I didn't. Stupidly I didn't and he _ shot _ him."

Bruce's gaze hardened, maybe Dick would've jumped in front of a bullet on his own accord but he wouldn't have had to if Slade didn't put him in that kind of danger. The raven haired males fist clenched tightly, his knuckles growing white. 

"This is exactly why I told him being with you was a bad idea."

"Sir." Alfred cut in lightly though Bruce completely ignored it.

"It was bad enough that you were a murderer but we all know you have a haunting past. It's what got both your son and wife killed. I swear if Dick is-"

"Master Bruce!" Alfred cut in much more aggressively, "As glorified as you must feel being able to pin the blame on Mister Wilson, this incident wasn't of his doing. No more than Damian's demise was of yours." 

Bruce gave Alfred a glare before he hesitantly took a seat, clearly being in disagreement with the Butler. His hands gripped the edge of the chair firmly before his gaze returned to Slade.

"If Slade stayed out of Dick's life, this wouldn't have happened."

"Or perhaps Master Dick would've found some other fool to play 'catch the bullet' with." Alfred pointed out, "He's taken bullets for people as low as the Joker."

"You can't keep him fully out of danger ... I've had that fight with him far too many times." 

Slade always just wanted to shake Dick, tell him that his life had value too. That scum shouldn't live so he could get hurt or die. Now he was looking at one or the other... Guess that made him the scum then.

"Do you think if I had any idea this would have happened I would have stuck around?" Slade asked Bruce seriously before letting out a sound of frustration. "It's typical that your son is dying and all you can think about it pointing the finger. We all know what happened. You repeating it doesn't change the facts." He kept his tone level, but he wasn't ready to lay down for Bruce. "You need to be ready to comfort your family .... Where is Damian? He'll want to know what's going on with his brother."

Bruce sighed and broke eye contact, his jaw tense as Alfred answered the question. "Master Dick's siblings are on their way. We can update all of them once they're here." 

A knock was soon heard from the door before Damian burst in. He was almost angrier than Bruce and it showed. He didn't hesitate to march up to Slade landing a firm smack across his face. Slade could have easily deflected Damian but didn't. The kid had every right to be angry, this was a shit situation for everyone involved.

"He was in your care! How dare you let this happen! If Grayson dies because of you, I'll bring upon you a death so slow you'll beg me to finish you off."

"I'll hold you to that." Slade said half sarcastically without meeting Damian's eyes. 

"Useless mercenary scum-" Damian started but felt small hands on his shoulders. Cassandra was leading him away from Slade. Tim stood by the door now, probably orchestrating Cass' interference on his behalf. 

"I'm having Stephanie, Harper, and Duke check and clear the perimeter." He announced, pocketing his cell phone. 

The top portion of his hair was pulled back into a cute little bun. He wore a three sizes too large superboy shirt (probably from the hero himself) and black leggings. 

"I spoke with Dr. Thompkins on the way in. Dick is going in for a twelve hour surgery. I suggest we all get comfortable. They'll be delivering pillows and blankets to this room." Tim, of course, was five steps ahead. He always was.

Tim took the seat on the end of the couch that was between Bruce and Slade ... A strategic position of course. He looked between the two men and couldn't help but frown, they were all so worried about Dick ... God this had to be bad. He reached out and squeezed Bruce's knee briefly.

"We've all made it through worse. Dick is a fighter, he'll make it." Tim said with assurity he didn't entirely feel on his own.

"It’s not just about whether or not he'll survive, Tim... It's possible he'll have severe brain damage... We should prepare for how we want to address the situation if that's that case."

"You aren't suggesting we put him down, father." Damian tried to snarl out but his voice lost its edge.

Bruce fell silent again before looking the boy in the eyes, "If Dick is in a state where he can't do anything more than stay confined to a bed eating out of a tube..." He trailed off and sighed, "He wouldn't want to live that way." Bruce didn't kill but.. How could he let Dick suffer like that?

Slade physically reeled at the idea of Dick being confined to a bed. Dick would rather die. For Dick, movement was everything. 

All the color drained from Slade's face and he looked down at the ground with a ten yard stare. This was his fault. That man had come to ruin Deathstroke, to seek revenge for what was ... A valid reason. Slade had destroyed his business and murdered his wife. Usually, Slade didn't kill women (old fashion he supposed) but she'd been involved in human trafficking, using her husband's textile business as a front. Regardless of the circumstances ... He lost everything.

Now, he was facing down the same consequences. 

"We have access to the best technology and medicine money can buy, Bruce, just ... Have a little faith." Tim tried looking back to Damian and Cass. 

Cass was trying to figure out what to do with the angry child, but was just patting his back like he was a 'good dog'. Damian was either too furious to notice or he was allowing it _ only _ because it was Cassandra. 

"We should-"

Slade stood up from his chair, taking a moment to grab his phone off the table and make for the door.

"Slade?" Tim asked where he was going without even saying it.

"A walk." 

Slade left with the door shut behind him, walking down the long corridor until he found a quiet place with empty offices and dim lighting. He ended up sinking to the floor, alone he felt like he could finally break a little. Yet, even with his desire to be alone, his body moved for comfort. Before he fully processed what he was doing his phone was pressed to his ear. 

"Hey, Rosie, it's Dad I ... Can we talk?"

  
  
  
  
  


After hours that seemed to drag on in length, Leslie finally came back to the office. "The surgery was a success, he's going to live but..." The doctor trailed off and gave a heavy sigh, "You should be prepared and know he may not be the same when he wakes up.. The bullet went through his brain and he lost a decent amount of brain tissue. It's possible he'll be comatose, amnesiac, or... Braindead.. We will allow you guys to see him in the morning just... Hang in there."

Morning couldn't come fast enough and Bruce found himself pacing around the room before sitting and staring out the window. He was like that for hours before they finally got to go back and see Dick. Dick had a couple of IV's running from his arms, numerous cables and cords hooked up to measure his heart beat and an oxygen tube running from his nose. His head had been shaven and was wrapped heavily in bandages, his expression soft. Bruce took to reading the file at the foot of Dick's bed before he sat and held his hand waiting for something... Anything. 

Slade spent a good minute just staring, watching Dick's chest rise and fall, hearing his heartbeat with every echoing beep produced from the machine next to his head. Every signal that Dick was alive, or at least, his body was. Slade wanted ... No, _ needed _ more than that. It was selfish to want Dick back for himself, god did he know that, but the rest of the world might go on without Nightwing ... Slade wasn't sure he knew how to anymore. 

He began by running his thumb along the bottom of the bandages on Dick's head, then brushing the back of his knuckles along Dick's cheek. 

"Kid..." He whispered out, leaning down closer to him and kissing his cheek before his head hit the pillow next to Dick's head. "I'm ... So sorry. I'll do anything to make this right." Slade spoke so low only Dick would be able to easily hear. "I won't let this be goodbye. Just fight for me, fight like you always have."

  
  


Dick didn't budge that day and Bruce hardly moved from his spot. He didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't even go on patrol. It was like that for the next couple of days even though everyone tried their best to get Bruce to take care of himself. On the third night, Bruce went out on patrol. He missed the flutter of Dick's eyes opening, the brief moment of consciousness before Dick fell back asleep. Duke made sure to update the Batman the moment it happened. 

Over the next couple nights the same thing would happen only Bruce stayed long enough to see it. The subtle movement of Dick's body, the slow opening of his eyes, and then... Nothing... Slade and Bruce spent a lot of time together in a virtually silent room. Slade at first had just held Dick's hand and ran over the situation in his mind. All the things he could have done differently as if any of it mattered, as if it would change anything. By the second day, he was over his own self pity and decided that Dick needed to be his focus. Getting him well, making sure he had everything he needed and more.

He called a speciality care agency and had a CNA come in from outside the hospital to handle all of Dick's bathing, grooming, and repositioning on the bed. Being bed ridden could cause awful sores, skin break down, muscle deterioration. So next, Slade brought in the best massage and physical therapists money could buy for visits twice a day. Slade still helped though, applying chapstick to Dick's lips, massaging his hands and legs.

A lot of it, though, was mental help Slade tried to offer. He talked to Dick a lot, and when he had nothing else left to say he read to him. Slade started with articles on his phone surrounding topics Dick enjoyed, like cute animal rescues, ancient history, new space discoveries, or news articles of his friends and families saving people. He'd provide some commentary at times, even laughing a little until he realized Dick couldn't laugh with him and then fell into silence. 

Tim caught Slade reading out loud once or twice and began showing up with books that Alfred said Dick would like. Slade read those out loud too. 

Visitors came and went, hours turned into days, eclipsing into a week. Slade had left only twice to shower, shave, and exercise.

Currently, Bruce was sitting by Dicks bed. It was 10pm and Dick hadn't moved at all. The raven haired male gave a sigh and stood up to leave 

Slade had The Golden Girls playing on the TV overhead so he could do some more silent research next to Dick, however his hand never left him. 

"Heading out?" He asked, turning off his phone and setting it on the bedside table. 

The sound of a soft groan made Slade's heart jump, he looked toward Dick, squeezing his hand a little and immediately muting the TV. 

Dick slowly sat up. His expression was a mix of pain and confusion as he rubbed his head before muttering a quiet, "Where am I?" His foggy eyes then shifted upwards, landing on Slade and then Bruce before brows furrowed, "Who are you? How did I get here?"

Bruce's heart sank nearly instantly and he found himself struggling to speak.

Slade listened to Dick speak for the first time in a week and his heart could have soared. Even if the words weren't promising. Right now, a little confusion was okay, it was normal. He of all people knew that being shot through the head had a way of scrambling the brain while everything healed. 

"You're at the hospital in Gotham. You were in an accident." Slade figured telling him he was shot right off the bat probably wasn't the best thing to do. "You're safe." 

He looked toward Bruce and motioned him forward so Dick could see him better. Head injuries could make vision fuzzy too. 

"This is your Father, Bruce." Slade said motioning over to him. "I'm ... Slade."

Why didn't he mention he was his fiance? That was rather important. Knowing their history though if Dick didn't remember everything immediately ... Well he might want to bludgeon him with his IV pole. 

"You shouldn't be sitting up. You have a bad head injury, I can set the bed up for you though."

"I.. I'm fine." Dick said as he tried to pull away from both of them which only had him shifting further towards the back of the bed. 

Bruce cautiously sat on the edge and studied the younger man for a moment before speaking up, "Do you remember anything?" 

Maybe that question was too abrasive but... Bruce couldn't help Dick if he didn't know what was going on in his head. 

Dick’s eyelids fluttered as he thought before shaking his head, "No... I just... Vaguely remember looking at the ceiling and... That's it. What kind of accident was I in?" Ever so curious. At least that showed Dick to be somewhat himself.

Bruce let out a heavy breath and put a hand on Dicks knee which made the other instantly tense up. He didn't trust them. That was reasonable.

"I was holding a fundraiser.... A gala event. You were supporting me and helping run the auction." Bruce explained slowly despite it being an outright lie. 

If Dick didn't remember anything then.... Maybe he could live a normal life.. Get away from all of this. 

"Some men came in with guns. Threatened us.. They tried to shoot a young woman and you saved her... You got in the way so she wouldn't get hurt."

Dick was silent a moment before pulling his legs up towards his chest, hissing at the dull pain in his thigh which only encouraged him to move the blankets and look at the bandages around his leg. His fingers ran over them as he took some time to process what happened. 

"So... I was shot.."

A part of Slade was upset that Bruce was so easily lying to Dick who, if he was in his right mind, would be furious about being led astray. Slade almost interrupted the entire thing to call out Bruce and stop it then and there but ... It would only put Dick back in danger. The truth wouldn't help him, actually, it would probably only frighten and confuse him. Two things no one with amnesia needed to grapple with.

Bruce gave a nod and exhaled, "We'll need to take some time in rehabilitating you and getting your memories back.. I'm going to go talk to the doctor and see if I can get you moved to the manor. I think it'll be best if you heal at home." 

Slade's flat expression only broke at Bruce's last comment. Calling the manor 'home'. It wasn't wrong. Dick grew up there, his three youngest siblings still lived there, it was, in a way, home. However, Dick had a home with Slade too. A place they'd picked out together, that Dick had put all his tacky knick knacks in and hung dozens and dozens of photos on the walls. It was the home they came together after long days, even weeks apart, where Slade felt like he could finally breathe the moment he saw Dick waiting there for him inside. Slade wanted Dick to come home with him but ... God his heart hurt. 

Slade loved this man in front of him. Loved him so much that he'd give anything to make sure he was happy, healthy ... Safe. Yet here he was on a bed having barely survived death _ because _ of him. Slade made choices before and after he met Dick that had consequences he frankly wasn't prepared for. He wasn't prepared to lose Dick, nor was he going to let it happen again. It _ could not _ happen again. 

... But what did that even mean?

Dicks eyes then returned to his bandage before looking at Slade, Bruce had gone to talk to the doctor about the future of Dick’s care.

"So... Where do you fit into all of this? How do I know you?"

Slade had taken to studying the linoleum floor when Dick called his gaze back up. What did he say? Did he play along with Bruce? If he was going to then ... What was he to Dick in Bruce's fantasy world? Slade would be _ nothing _ to Dick if Bruce had his way and somehow ... Somehow Slade wondered if that wasn't such a bad thing after all. 

"That's ... Complicated." Slade started and immediately cursed himself in his own mind. Horrible way to start things off. "We've known each other for a long time. You're friends with my kids ... Rose and Joey. So a ... Family friend I guess." 

Slade felt his heart dropping into his feet, sinking in the realization of what he was doing. What he was letting go. That, in a way, this felt like goodbye. 

"I stopped by to see how you were. I haven't been here that long but ... It's good to see you awake. I ... Your family was worried about you." 

He wanted to reach out and touch him, hug him, hold him close and kiss him. All those physical things that Dick needed to feel safe and comfortable. Instead he stayed in his seat, wondering how much longer he could get away with staying before he'd have to go.

Dick listened to Slade closely, his brows furrowing as though he were trying to use these words to spark a memory. He tried to remember spending time with this older man... What his kids might look like... Were they his age? How old was he even? A rush of disappointment filled Dick’s features as Slade finished his explanation the young lost hero wrapped his arms around his knees and stared down at the bedding. He looked lost, confused and upset. Not to mention his head and body was between feeling pain and like it was stuffed with cotton.

"So.. You're like... Some kind of... Grandpa friend?" He finally asked but his brows remained furrowed in his haze of confusion.

He tried focusing further but soon sighed and ran his hands over his bandages head. He almost gripped at his skull but the pain only stopped him. He gave a soft hiss and pulled his hands away before letting them rest in his lap and that’s when he got a glimpse of something that only confused him more.... A wedding ring? 

He reached and spun the object around his finger before looking up at Slade, "So... Am I.. Married? Do I have kids?"

Bruce came in with Leslie who offered a small smile to Dick and rubbed his back, "Hey... How are you feeling?"

"Uh... Fine... I guess."

"We need to run some tests.. Then, Mister Wayne requested we let you go home with him and have a nurse service you from home. Is that okay?"

Slade ended up glancing down at his own inversely matching band still around his finger. He hesitated for only a second before pulling it off. It felt like he was ripping out his own heart and crushing it in his hand. 

Dick thought for a moment before looking at Bruce, then the woman, "I... Guess.."

Slade slipped it into the pocket of his pants before he rose from his seat and stood, looking down at Dick once more before steeling himself for the hardest decision of his life. 

"Alright Kid, get some rest. I'll let Rose and Joey know how you are doing." Slade offered and couldn't help but reach out to softly squeeze Dick's shoulder. "I'll ... See you around." 

His hand slipped off the hospital gown, fingers trailing behind it before he stepped away from the bed and toward the door. 

"I'll keep Dad busy while Leslie looks you over ... Bruce." Slade addressed him and nodded his head towards the door as an obvious signal they needed to talk away from Dick.

Bruce's eyes followed Slade before he looked back at Dick, watching the way his body moved so unnaturally tight. With a sigh the billionaire moved outside with Slade. His expression looked tired and exhausted as opposed to the hard coldness that it showed before. 

"You removed your ring."

"I did." Slade replied reaching into his pocket and feeling the still warm metal between his fingers. It felt wrong not to be wearing it after all this time. "I'm sure you're thrilled."

Slade held the ring in his closed palm as his hand left his pocket, eyes diverted toward the now closed door of Dick's room. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. You probably know that better than most, since you are so apt at pointing them out..." Slade's hand gripped the ring harder. "I can't stay by his side, knowing the damage it could cause. He's alive now, but not by anything short of a miracle. He should have died that night ... And I'm not naive enough to think that the man who shot him wasn't a monster of my own creation. I might as well have pulled the trigger myself." Slade let out a sigh and closed his eye. 

"It was a mistake for me to think that my presence in his life was anything but dangerous and selfish. I told him that too but ... He's your boy, you know how stubborn he is once he's made up his mind." Slade looked at Bruce finally, and while it was obvious he was trying to hide it, there was pain in his expression.

"I'm going to leave Gotham and you have my word that I won't be coming back. I won't contact him. I'll stay away from your family. I can work on mailing his personal things to the manor... This is his chance for a fresh start ... I won't rob him of that."

Slade took one last look back at Dick's room. There was still time to go back, to change his mind and have the happy life he planned with Dick. Even if he didn't know him anymore ... He could court him all over again. He wouldn't even care how long it took as long as he got one more moment with him. He remembered them kissing on the hood of his car, the smile on Dick's face when Slade reminded him that they were getting married ... Tomorrow. 

Slade's past wouldn't let him live for his future though and anyone unfortunate enough to get tangled up with him would just suffer for it. Dick didn't deserve to suffer, he deserved to smile and be with ... A hero. Not a villain like himself. Not someone who would hurt him.

"Do you have any objections?"

Bruce stood silently as he thought over Slade's words, his cold blue eyes set on Slade's fist. His jaw was tight and the expression in his face said he was wrestling with himself and soon finally the old man let out a soft sigh. 

"I can't deny that you made Dick happy.... He was... Almost a different person with you. Light, cheerful, hopeful.. More so than usual. As much as I have... Had my problems with you, Wilson, I've learned to not hate you. Learned to appreciate you for the joy you bring him.... I don't think you're a good match for him when it comes to intimate relationships because the life you've lived exposed to Dick to dangers that span wider than the typical villain."

"You put him in the crosshairs of your foes. Of your targets. You endanger his identity since yours isn't a secret. While emotionally you're good for him, I don't think you're worth the danger he's in. The nightmares you take out on him.... I don’t want you to marry my son, but I'm not selfish enough to cut you out of his life completely.... Just... Keep yourself distant. See him on short fleeting occasions. Look out for him. I don't intend on sharing his time as a hero with him which may leave him exposed to dangers... If you don't want to be in his life, I won't force you... But... If you are.. Just... Be a distant friend."

Slade wasn't actually expecting Bruce to say anything positive about him, let alone suggest that _ maybe _ he should be in Dick's life just a little bit still. It was surprising. 

Slade smirked a little, but it didn't have the bite to it he wanted. "My Bruce, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. I think you're getting soft."

He let that hang in the air while he tried to imagine a life of going back to being something less than Dick's fiance, boyfriend ... And it would hurt to see him every day and know what he needed to keep a secret. He'd give into those baby blues in two seconds, he knew it. 

"I think it's best for everyone if I don't keep any kind of relationship with Dick." Slade didn't explain his reasoning to Bruce, and quite honestly? He didn't think he owed the man one. This was hard enough without having to spill his guts out in front of Batman. No, he needed to go. 

"Oh ... I still have Zitka at the farm. I'll keep looking after her. I'm sure you have your zoo of animals at home already." Slade mentioned as a last thought. 

Why of all things he thought of Dick's retired circus elephant was beyond him but ... It felt good to be able to keep something of Dick's for his own. 

"... Take good care of him." 


	2. Chapter 2

Tim was teetering between anxious and angry all day. Bruce had put a hard stop to  _ anyone _ visiting Dick once he woke up. Tim forced him to admit that Dick had amnesia, which gave Tim a sick feeling in his stomach immediately upon hearing it. Bruce had to be up to something and usually? It was some well meaning gesture that actually turned out to be a horrible idea that pissed everyone off. Tim told Jason his theory and he agreed to team up on Bruce and demand to see Dick, now that Dick was back at the manor. 

He was sitting in the front of the manor, blanket over his legs and phone in his hands. The only thing keeping him sane through all this was texting and talking to Connor. He, of course, had been nothing but sweet and supportive. 

[Waiting on Jason to show up. I don't think Lian is coming so he should be on time. I just want to see Dick, this stuff is ridiculous.] 

[Can you come kidnap me after all this? I need a chocolate shake honestly.]

[I'll get you a shake and a massage when you come home. Tear into Bruce good, okay?] Connor had responded.

Jason pulled up on his motorcycle and shut it off before stepping down. He wasn't the closest to Dick but Dick was his brother. He was worried,  _ especially  _ since the kid could've died. 

"Hey, small fry." The man greeted before ruffling Tim's hair. 

From there he moved to step inside. It looked like Bruce was standing there already waiting with Damian. 

"Thank you all for coming." Bruce said. 

"Thank us for coming? You've been the one keeping us away." Jason snapped before Bruce held a hand up. 

"I know this has been hard on all of you.. Dick has amnesia. He doesn't remember  _ anything _ . Alfred and I are slowly filling in the holes.... I want you to have that same opportunity however, there are some things we are withholding from him. I don't want him to know about his life or our lives as superheroes. We told him he's a cop and that he got shot at a gala trying to protect someone... Slade and I also decided to keep a lid on their relationship. There will be no wedding and Slade will no longer be in Dick’s life. I request you don't mention their life together."

Jason's jaw clenched, he was fuming, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Tim was shocked, he sat up completely and matched Jason's expression. "Exactly my sentiment." Tim replied, giving Bruce a sharp look. "Listen, Bruce ... I understand not telling Dick about being Nightwing. I even understand lying to him about  _ how  _ he was injured. But ... Why ... Where is Slade? Dick  _ needs  _ him to be here. Even if he doesn't remember who he is he needs him here." 

Dick knowing about his hero identity could be a disaster, especially for  _ Dick _ . He was extremely talkative and had a head injury ... Made sense. But Slade was the love and light of Dick's life. 

"Dick wouldn't stand for this."

"It was Slade's choice." Bruce said after a moment of silence, "Dick wouldn't have gotten shot if it wasn't for Slade and his bad connections." 

Jason just stared at Bruce before stepping into his space, "What did you say to Slade to make him split?"

Tim was out of his seat the moment Jason got into Bruce's space. That was not a 'friendly' approach and Tim knew that sometimes Jason and Bruce came to blows before words could even be exchanged. Luckily, Jason had gotten better, especially since moving in with Roy. 

Dick usually was the middleman in these situations, playing referee, but with him out of commission ... God, did that mean it was going to be Tim's responsibility now? He couldn't handle that. Dealing with the Titans was bad enough. 

"I didn't say anything.... He pulled me aside and stated that he didn't want to be in Dick’s life. I invited him to at least take part as Dick’s friend and he refused my offer." 

Jason fell silent, jaw clenched before he turned and stormed out of the room. He wasn't going to hear it anymore and was going to go talk to Dick. Bruce let out a heavy sigh, surprisingly not following. Currently, he trusted Jason not to blow the whistle on this.

"I'll... go talk to him." Tim offered, watching Damian physically roll his eyes as he picked up Alfred the cat. 

"You two are drama queens. Father, I'm frankly ecstatic about Wilson's absence." Damian quipped as Tim started after Jason.

He found him just standing in front of Dick's door, head against the wood. Tim's heart sank a little ... Jason looked hesitant, the anger having left at least momentarily. 

"We can go in together ... If you want." Tim suggested, moving closer but making sure to give him space. "What are you thinking about?" 

A soft sigh escaped the older brother as he stepped back from the door and put his hands in his pockets. 

"I know Bruce said not to but... We have to tell him, Tim... Dick would be furious if he knew we were lying to him. He deserves to know about Slade, about Nightwing, all of it." 

Jason knew how much Nightwing meant to Dick... No... He knew how much being a  _ hero  _ meant to him. It's why Dick became a cop. Why he insisted on searching for his parents killer regardless of whether or not he had training. It's why Dick became Nightwing after Bruce took Robin away... Maybe he was a different person now, but he at least deserved the decency to have a  _ choice _ . To choose if he wanted to tap into his past and become what he was or to choose to start a new life. 

Finally, Jason turned to face Tim completely, "Please tell me you don't have a stick up your ass like everyone else." Despite his sarcastic tone, Jason was worried that Tim would, at the very least, wanna keep Nightwing from Dick.

"I ... You know Jason you should really refrain from insulting others using that phrase ... Considering you enjoy having it stuck up your ass." Tim shot the comment back without really thinking, it was just so easy  _ too _ easy. "Not that there's anything wrong with that." As if that was going to save him somehow.

Jason shot Tim a glare, his face turning a light shade of pink. Insult after insult began boiling over in his mind but before he could get a single one of them out, Tim brought the conversation back to what really mattered. 

"I don't disagree with you. I think lying to Dick is just delaying the inevitable. Bruce isn't thinking about the fact that Dick will look for answers whether we give them to him or not." Tim shrugged his shoulders. "I am cautious about Nightwing, only because that could be overwhelming. I'm not against it, but ... We should introduce that part slowly." 

"As far as Slade goes ..." Tim shook his head. "I can't believe he would just abandon Dick like that. After how hard they've had to fight to be together? It doesn't make any sense ... I don't know whether to confront Slade first or just tell Dick about him..."

Jason was silent for a while before shaking his head and sighing, "We tell Dick and then we confront Slade. It doesn't matter if he's been looking for an out this whole time, he doesn't get to leave this way... Dick has the right to know that he wasted years of his life with that prick. If Slade wants to be done with him then he can be a man, grow some balls, and tell Dick to his face." 

From there Jason looked back at the bedroom door, "I'm guessing you have some photos of them together? I say we start there."

He then knocked on the door, standing silent for a moment as he awaited a response that never came. Finally, he just walked in finding an empty bed. A brief moment of panic filled Jason before his eyes shifted to the balcony where Dick stood, leaning over the railing. He was dressed in a blue sweater and jeans. Ones Jason hasn't seen him wear in forever. He made his way through the room and stepped outside, instantly getting his freshly bald brothers attention. 

"Hey..."

"Uh.. Hi..." 

"I'm sure you don't remember us... I'm Jason, this is Tim.. We're your brothers." Jason started, watching how his words did nothing to cause Dick ease. It was weird seeing him so solemn... So stiff. 

"Bruce mentioned that you might stop by... He said a lot of people might stop by."

"Yeah... You're pretty popular.." Jason chuckled and leaned against the railing as Dick turned his body to look over the yard, a silence falling over them.

Tim was a little more hesitant to come forward, he was surprised to see that Dick wasn't happy, curious, or ... Well really  _ anything _ . Dick was off. Really off. 

"You don't seem very happy about that." Tim pointed out joining them against the railing, but put himself closer to the side than his brothers. "Are you not feeling up to company?" 

Tim looked down at his phone. It wasn't to be rude, he was making a folder of photos to show Dick of himself and Slade. He paused when he saw a pack of photos from last Christmas. One in particular of Slade and Dick cuddling on the couch, wearing puffy complementary Christmas sweaters next to the fire. Dick's head rested against Slade's chest, nearly smiling as Slade kissed the top of his head. It was one of his favorite of the two of them. 

Jason and him had to say something to Dick.

"It's... Not that..." Dick said before softly sighing, "It's just.. There's a bit of a pressure. Every one knows me, has expectations of how I should be and I can barely remember all of your names... It feels like I've woken up in someone else's life... I don't know who to be." 

Jason frowned and pulled his cigarettes from his coat before lighting one up. Dicks words broke his heart, hell, he could even relate to them when he first came back. 

"Listen... We know you might be.. Different. That's okay. And we also want to help you rediscover yourself." Jason blew a puff of smoke away from the two, "It's up to you if you want to change... If you don't want to be the golden child ‘Richard Grayson’.. But we think you should at least know who you were." Jason turned around so his back was against the railing, "Tim and I want to show you something... Something... Contradictory to what you've been told."

"What do you mean?"

"... Bruce is a grade A, Asshole... He.... There's somethings he's been keeping from you because he thinks you'll be happier that way. But you have a right to know.... Tim?" Jason said looking to the other as a cue to show the photos. 

Dicks eyes immediantly shifted to the teen, his body language a lot more alert than it had been before.

Tim stepped forward, laying his phone down on the balcony railing so Dick could see it more easily. "Here, you can scroll through these." He said, flicking by the first picture of Dick napping with his cereal bowl in his lap. 

"The man in these photos with you is Slade Wilson. You two have a bit of a complicated history, does he look familiar at all?"

Dick stared down at the photos with furrowed brows before he picked up the phone, his thumb running over the man's face before he started flipping through some of the photos. His brows furrowed and his jaw dropped slightly before his eyelids fluttered. 

"Yeah... He was at the hospital... He... He said he was just a friend. Knew me through his kids." Dick said going through the photos that stated quit the opposite. 

The cuddling, kissing, love struck looks.. Then he noticed the ring. His eyes shifted down to the one on his finger before he closed his eyes trying to remember if Slade was wearing one... He.. Couldn't remember. 

Dick set the phone down and groaned into his hands, going still a moment before looking at the two. "Why would he lie to me? Was he... Unhappy? Did we fight a lot? Why would Bruce lie about it? Did he hurt me?"

"One at a time, Dickie bird." Jason chuckled before sighing, "Bruce never liked him... But far as I can tell you were both happy... I mean, I've never seen you happier.. Tim and I were gonna go talk to hi-"

"No." Dick interrupted, "If he doesn't... Want... Whatever we have or doesn't want to deal with me not... Remembering anything that's his choice..."

"Dick.." Jason said softly.

"Don't... I'm a stranger to myself.. To you... I can't ask anyone to be in my life if they don't want to... I don’t.. Even love him anymore.." Dick said as his eyes fell back to the photos, a soft expression on his face. "I want to learn who I am but... It's not fair for me to drag people into that.”

"That's bullshit." Tim stated frankly with a flat look that morphed into a faint flush of embarrassment at his crass outbursts. "What I meant to say is that Slade loves you. You've kind of always fallen in love easy, no offense, but this thing you have with him is real and lasting. You two have had your issues, but it never broke you apart." Tim explained, pausing before deciding to dive into the part that even Jason wasn't entirely informed about. 

"The night you were shot, Slade was there. He feels partly responsible, but he fought to save your life. He sat by your bed every day in the hospital and talked to you, read your favorite stories to you. That doesn't sound like a man who wanted to give you up."

Dick listened to Tim closely, a faint and tiny flush coming to his cheeks as he let out a delicate sigh. He just stayed silent before shaking his head and looking at Jason, "Can I have one?" He asked nodding towards Jason cigarette.

Jason chuckled and rose a brow, "You trying to copy my bad boy thing?" He teased but nonetheless passed Dick a cigarette and offered to light it for him. He figured Dick was going to need it. Tim wrinkled his nose a little as the second cigarette was lit. He didn't like smoking and knew if Alfred could see what was going on right now he'd give a very disapproving stare. Which, honestly? Was worse than any other punishment Tim had ever received. 

Dick softly inhaled the smoke before blowing it out, staring down at the cigarette in his hand. He just watched the ember slowly start burning down the stick before his back rest against the railing. 

"So... You guys think he ran off because he thinks what happened to me is his fault?"

He asked looking between Tim and Jason. He then began taking a moment to reflect on Tim's words, his heart fluttered at the idea of having someone who brought him happiness. Love. Peace.... He wanted that... Wanted to  _ remember _ how that felt.

"I... I want to talk to him. Not to.. Rekindle anything, I just… I need to understand."

Jason smiled, "You should let Tim and I talk to him first."

"I agree with Jason. We'll track him down and tell him what an idiot he's being." Tim took his phone back and clicked a few times on the screen. 

Bruce, no doubt, was smart enough to get Dick a new phone without any evidence of his past on it. Same number though. Tim sent him the file of photos from his own phone, easily bypassing any security Bruce set up for media transfers. Bruce was better than Tim at a lot of things, but tech? Yeah, no way. 

Tim put up his phone and took a quick photo of Jason and Dick smoking on the balcony. It would be fantastic blackmail against Jason next time he needed it, and no, he didn't care how awful that was. Sometimes life required leverage. 

"Right now we should do something. Think we could sneak Dick out of here without setting off the alarms?" Tim asked with a smile. "I think Dick needs to try some street food. I'm thinking hot dogs and tacos."

It took some convincing but after a while the duo successfully dragged Dick out of the house. He was more broody and serious than usual but occasionally showed that familiar smile and cracked a couple of light jokes. It was some sign that Dick wasn't completely changed. That he wasn't a second Bruce. Jason and Tim got Dick home by five. From there Jason urged Tim to ride with him to Slade's. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Tim let Jason take the wheel, both metaphorically and physically. So, when they reached the door Tim stood behind Jason with a glare that could have set small plants a blaze. 

It took a moment for Slade to answer the door. He had checked the security footage before doing so, but figured ignoring the bats wasn't the best idea. They'd get in somehow, he was sure of it. 

"What the hell are you thinking?" Jason scolded.

Slade looked at Jason with a flat expression that read clearly that he wasn't in the least bit surprised by the comment. 

Behind Slade the house was half way packed in boxes. Most read of the rooms and items inside, but some just simply said "Richard".

"Nice to see you two." Slade said looking at Tim behind Jason as he said this. 

"You know why we are here." Tim followed up, crossing his arms. 

Slade sighed. "Just ... Come in." 

He stepped to the side of the doorway so the two of them could enter. The living room was still somewhat put together. So he motioned them towards that area. Tim followed quietly, but only because he wanted answers.

"Go ahead and say your piece, I'm sure you've both prepared a speech."

Jason's fist clenched and it took everything in him not to throw a punch and hit douchestroke in the face. He was a coward. Maybe he didn't even deserve Dick. 

"You're seriously just gonna leave him?" Jason asked with a harsh bite even he hadn't been expecting, "How many times has he begged you to be with him? How many hours has he spent gushing about you? How many  _ years _ has he wasted loving you? He's been there for you time after time and now when he needs you most you're going to turn your back on him?"

He wasn't pulling any punches here, "I was starting to think you were actually decent.. Dick knows about you.. Tim and I told him and now he's left wondering what he did to make you leave him. He's left wondering what kind of  _ person _ he is because you left him."

Slade sat in an armchair nearby, listening as Jason spoke and began rubbing his hands over his face half way through. It may have been more to hide his facial expression than anything else. 

"Why would you tell him about me?" Slade asked, looking down at the floor with his hands holding his head up. 

"Because he deserves to know, because Bruce lies enough to all of us that we know how it feels to be deceived even with the best of intentions." Tim replied, having found a seat on the couch across from Slade.

"And what Jason said is exactly why we told him. He loves you and even if he doesn't remember, he should have the chance to know you because ... Because he's better with you than without you. At least ... I think so." Tim stammered off as things moved from objective to subjective personal statements. Tim was always fine talking about the facts, but his opinions and feelings were always a little harder to express.

"You two don't understand why I made this decision. I didn't just abandon Dick. You don't think I want to be with him? That I don't wish I was by his side or even ... I don't even know how he's doing..." 

Slade had wondered. Even considered contacting Bruce or Alfred to see how Dick was recovering but each time he'd stopped because it meant going down a road towards Dick. If he started down that, he'd never stop. 

Slade let out a sigh and looked up at the two. "The man that shot Dick was after me. He told me before he pulled the trigger that he wanted me to suffer, he purposefully went after Dick to hurt me." Slade explained, looking serious. "The same thing happened to Joseph, Grant, Adeline, Rose, Bill ... Three of those people are dead now, and one of them is irreparably injured." 

"Dick will die if he stays with me. Even if he's too stubborn to see the consequences of that I'm not. I can't be responsible for taking Nightwing, Dick Grayson, away from the world. He's more than my lover. He's your brother, a friend, a hero ... People need him but ... Most of all I can't ..." Slade paused to take a breath. "I thought I was watching Dick die that night. I saw all the blood, brain tissue, his body was so limp and I thought there was no way he could survive. Then he did. Somehow he lived through and I knew then that I couldn't watch him die."

Jason was silent, still standing as he stared at Slade with crossed arms. There was a  _ small _ part of him that totally understood where Slade was coming from. If Roy or Lian had gotten hurt because of him he would cut ties without blinking. He would've done  _ everything _ that needed to be done in order to keep them safe... The difference? Dick would've taken a bullet for  _ anyone _ . Jason wasn't there. He didn't see it happen. But he also couldn't count on one time how many times Dick has reached the brink of death.

It sent rage up Jason's spine processing that Slade thought Dick would be  _ safe _ without him. "You're kidding, right?" He asked coldly after a moment, "You think you're  _ that _ special? That if you step out of his life he'll magically be safe?" 

Jason snort, "Before he gave two shits about you, his grandfather from the Court of Owls nearly killed him. Back it up to before that? He almost let Blockbuster snuff his lights out to save some random  _ stranger _ . Oh, and then there's that time where he  _ did _ die... Bomb strapped to his heart and all that... You have nothing to do with Dicks safety. In fact? I'd argue you improve it. But you're a fool if you think leaving him makes him more  _ safe _ .... We don't know if he'll choose to be Nightwing again. We don't know who he'll choose to become. But what we do know is Dick Grayson is  _ martyr _ ."

"Jason, I don't think that leaving him will make him completely safe. However, I don't need to be there to make him safe. Your family protects each other fiercely. There is nothing I bring to the table that could fully protect him ... In fact no one can. I know that. I thought about that too, I told myself the same thing the entire time Dick and I were engaged. That even if being with me made things just a little more dangerous that the batclan and myself could handle it. We were all out on patrol that night and he still almost died." Slade finished and Tim shook his head.

"You're blaming yourself too much for this. We put each other in danger constantly, it just comes with the territory. Even without being a world class murderer ... I mean mercenary." Tim stumble was genuine. 

He didn't disagree with what Slade did entirely. He believed that sometimes ... Maybe people did deserve to die. However, like Bruce, he knew if he ever went down that path he'd never turn back. 

"I have much more dangerous enemies than you do." Slade responded, Tim rolled his eyes.

"More dangerous than the Joker?" Tim asked incredulously. 

He looked over to Jason, hoping he hadn't triggered anything by bringing him up ... And even more by what he was going to say next. 

"The Joker killed Jason, kidnapped and brainwashed me, put Babs in a wheelchair all because of his obsession with Bruce." Tim then let out a small laugh. "And Bruce did the same thing you are doing now. Tried to push us away, cut ties to protect us and it never worked. All it did was make us resent him. You and him are more similar than I think you or Dick want to admit." 

At first, Tim really did think that Dick was working through some BatDaddy issues when he first started dating Slade. "The difference is that you always cared about what Dick wanted, how he felt. Now why are you acting like this situation is any different? Why are you taking his choices away?"

Slade was processing both what Jason and Tim had to say with continuing clarity. Maybe he had messed up, maybe this was the wrong thing to do. Then... He'd remember Grant, Adeline, Joey and ... Fuck he couldn't go through that again. He couldn't suffer through another loss. He wasn't strong enough. Maybe that's what this all boiled down to. 

"Dick is lucky to have you two on his side." Slade responded first, giving a small smile because now he knew how much it would mean to Dick to see them sticking up for him like this. "I ... Give me time."

"How long?" Tim asked immediately, Slade shook his head.

"I don't know right now."

Tim stood up. "We won't make him wait forever. If he asks to see you-"

"I won't be here and I won't tell you where I'm going either."

Tim let out a small 'hm' in disapproval that was very reminiscent of Bruce. Even if all the tech in the world couldn't help him locate Slade, Tim had a half-kryptonian that could sniff or hear him out in a minute. He wouldn't say that though, it would be his trump card if need be. 

"Jay ..." Tim started, looking toward him. "Unless you have anything else to say we should go. I'm not going to waste my time talking to a brick wall."

"If this fucks Dick up in any way... You're going to regret this." He didn't wait for Slade to respond before he walked out of the building. He would've slammed the door behind him if it weren't for Tim being the last one to leave. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"So that means no rushing at him." Tim looked out at what could be considered a small crowd in front of him.

"That also means one at a time or in twos and for God fucking sakes no blubbering or crying in front of him." Jason followed up with, standing next to Tim like his commander in charge. 

"I don't think that's a fair expectation for you to hold ... Wally won't make it two seconds without bursting into tears." Donna commented, eliciting a loud and agassed sound from Wally to her right. 

"I am not going to cry. Why would I cry?" Wally asked, giving her a purposefully curious look.

"He's not going to remember you Wally. He doesn't remember anyone." Donna repeated for the fifth time that day.

"He  _ will _ remember me! I'm his  _ best friend _ . You don't just forget your best friends ... R-Right?" Wally started out confident, but then talked himself right into tearing up. "Oh god my Dickie."

Donna shook her head. "Fucking god, Wally, get it together."

Barbara wasn't much more sympathetic to Wally's obviously sensitive state, however, she did rub a hand between his shoulders across his back in silent comfort. All while she shot Donna an understanding look.

"We will all follow the plan, Tim, don't worry." Barbara piped up to get this meeting back on track. 

"Thanks Babs." Tim said gratefully. "I'm going to go through the zeta tubes and get Dick. No one is allowed in the transport bay until we leave it. Hood and Oracle will be in charge of chaperoning Dick."

"Where will you be little Robin?" Koriander asked with genuine interest.

"Out. Connor and I have something we need to work on ... That I still need to talk to him about." Tim finished looking at Connor as if to confirm they'd meet alone after the briefing. "Any questions?"

"Uhh, yeah. I have one question." Beast Boy said after raising his hand, "Who gets to see Dick first?"

"Obviously the beautiful redhead girls." Roy said without so much of a second thought, they were with Dick in a way almost no one else in this room was with him... Except Roy but that was a meaningless fling. 

"What? Come on, man, I've known Dick since he wore little green panties! I think anyone who suffered through that has the right to see him first." Gar protested.

Raven glanced at him, her tone stoic and calm, "I believe if we're trying to spark his memory the best thing would to connect him to the people he's had the strongest feelings for.. Based off of what we know, I doubt he'll get his memory back."

"Oracle will get a chance to see Dick when she's chaperoning him.. I think Starfire and Wally should be the first two to see her." Jaime piped in.

"We should just let Dick choose." Bart said, "He's in a fragile state... I think he should have a say in who he sees."

Jason looked a little irritated. This is why he didn't work well with teams unless he picked them out. Divulging into bickering fights over pointless things could quickly drive him over the edge. Kori looked at his face and could see it coming, a little frown showing on her features. 

"Jay and Barbara can take care of things. I trust them to let us all know when we can see him." Starfire tried to bring the conversation around. "When I lost my memories nothing ever went as was expected. We will have to, as they say 'Go with the glow'."

"Flow. It's go with the flow Star." Jason piped up which made Donna let out a short snort of laughter. "But yeah ... She's right. I'm not putting up with any shit either. Especially from you three." 

He pointed at both speedsters and Gar, another agast sound left Wally. 

Bart rolled his eyes, "You say that like we misbehave." He smirked, "I promise, we'll be good boys and girls."

"Yeah right, last time you were left alone you trashed all of Tim's costumes cuz you were trying to make your own." Gar responded. 

Raven just groaned and got up to make herself some tea. She had better things to do than listen to a petty little argument. 

"Alright ... I'll be back shortly. Everyone just ... Find something constructive to do." Tim asked before leaving his post to walk around the group, looking at Connor and nodding his head sideways as a gesture to follow him. 

It felt like forever since he'd seen Connor. With everything going on they hadn't had a chance to hang out. Tim was staying in Gotham to help fill in for Dick and Damian, plus the world had needed Superboy more than usual as of late. More heavy hitter metas and catastrophic events meant Connor had been a busy boy too. It was nice to just see him and part of him was excited to spend the day together ... Even if it was just to find Slade.

Connor got up and followed Tim out, waiting to speak until they were alone.

"What's up?" He asked, hovering beside the other before carefully landing on his feet. 

"I need your help tracking down Deathstroke. He's untraceable as of now. I have audio of his heart beat, breathing patterns, biological signals ... I need you to sniff him out."

"Do I even want to know how or why you have Slade's 'biological signals' recorded?" That was weird but... Then again? This was Tim. 

If Connor had to guess, Tim did it so that if Slade hurt Dick he could track him down and whoop his ass... The how? Connor couldn't even begin to imagine. 

"It's standard procedure." Tim said nonchalantly. As if that was in anyway an appropriate answer. "I have yours as well." 

"Alright... I'll do it... Are... Are you planning on taking Dick to him?" He asked. 

He heard bits and pieces of what was going on. That Bruce lied about Slade and Dick's life as a superhero. He heard whispers of Slade leaving Dick which only made him wonder if Slade wanted to do that all along. He questioned whether or not letting Dick see Slade was a good idea but ultimately trusted Tim and wasn't going to second guess him. 

"If Dick asks me to? Yes. I just ... Need to know where he is now for when or if that time comes." Tim wouldn't force meeting Slade onto Dick. 

"I don't know a lot about ... Romantic love, at least from an experienced perspective but ... He'll  _ need _ to see him eventually. I don't know if I've seen two other people who love each other like they do. It can't be the end ... Right?"

Connor shrugged, “I don’t know how any of this memory loss stuff works.” He admit before focusing on the recording Tim gave him before he worked on listening for Slade.

The sound of Slade's heart was off in Wisconsin, slow and relaxed. Next to one that was large and loud, but a mammal. 

"It sounds like Slade is somewhere more rural.. Wisconsin? I think... And it sounds like he's with something big like... I don't know." Connor paused and furrowed his brows, "Does Slade own a rhino? Cuz whatever he's with has a really hard and loud heart beat.."

Tim smiled at Connor's comment. "No, but he does own an elephant. I know exactly where he is." That was easy, almost too easy. "We will check on his location in a minute, before then ... Why don't you come with me to pick up Dick? I could use the company." Tim added stepping away from the computer and taking Connor's hand as he went by without hesitation to tug him along to the zeta beam.

  
  
  
  
  
  


"Father will be cross." Damian huffed, arms folded up against his chest and a scowl on his face. "Grayson isn't to go anywhere without permission. Those were his exact orders and they should be followed." 

Damian had been a bit more insufferable than usual, lately. It was so obviously linked to Dick's head injury and not knowing who Damian was. Damian had been avoiding Dick since the first time they saw each other after the hospital. Something about the moment had really upset him, though he wouldn't tell a soul what that was, which, again, was entirely typical.

"Master Bruce is not currently in the manor." Alfred responded, getting an annoyed sound in return.

"So we are supposed to misbehave every time he leaves?"

"No. Everyone is to follow the rules as they are set, however ... I take liberties in their interpretations for my own interests." Alfred explained, typing something in at the Batcomputer.

He'd brought Dick down early so he could explore the room, Damian came with to 'keep him safe' but was staying close to Alfred's side. 

"Master Dick, Timothy will be here soon to escort you." Alfred called, picking up a notification that the zeta beam in California was sending Red Robin and Superboy to their location. 

Surely Bruce wouldn't want a meta in Gotham, let alone the batcave. However, Alfred was prepared to make yet another exception that day for Kon-El. He rather liked the lad ... And very much liked how he made his Timothy smile.

  
  


Dick stood in front of the display glass looking at his first Robin costume for a good five minutes with a frown on his lips. "How is this thing even sensible?" He muttered to himself. 

By now, a head wrapping wasn't necessarily needed but Dick wore a beanie no one would have to see his gross bald head and scar. Plus... His head got cold. He leaned against the railing before letting out a tedious sigh.

"Is this really necessary?" He asked before making his way down. "I mean... I wanna know about my past but..." He trailed off, arms crossing.

".... Please tell me I was wearing pants when I got shot.." No... He wasn't over the green shorts.

Alfred gave a small, knowing smile. "You were wearing pants, the underwear was retired long ago." Alfred assured Dick just as Tim and Connor arrive through the Zeta tube. 

"Hey Alfred." Tim said looking back to Connor. "I brought him along, is that..?"

"Absolutely, Mister Kent is welcomed in our home anytime." Alfred said without hesitation, Damian muttered something about not being able to have Jon over that weekend behind him. 

"Hey Dick." Tim changed his attention to his older brother, realizing this was the first time Dick was seeing him in his uniform. "This is Connor, Superboy Senior."

Tim said the last part as a small joke. Jon wasn't officially Superboy, even if he adopted the title from time to time. 

"You two met a while ago. You rescued him from a multimillion dollar genetics facility funded by a bald supervillain. Basically you and the Titans have been raising him ever since."

Connor offered an awkward smile. As Dick gave a nod in response. 

"So... How long have you two been dating?" Dick asked putting his hands in his pockets. Connor turned beat red.

Tim's face exploded into every shade of red possible all the way down to his chest in seconds. His eyes were wide and shocked before he covered his face with his hands. 

"What Super would want to date Drake? He's barely a worthy adversary." Damian piped in making Tim drop his hands off his face and shoot Damian a hard glare, but there was a little hurt too. 

"Connor and I aren't ..." Tim motioned between the two of them not quite sure how to label them at this point. 

What were they? Connor was ... Everything ... shit he had it so bad. 

"We're partners, but not like that ... Or ... Like a side kick but, equal a ... Partner." Tim’s rambles slowed to a halt at the end as he shook himself out of acting like a total idiot. He could even see Alfred shaking his head, but still holding a smile.

Dick rose a skeptic brow at the two, clearly there were feelings there, he could see it somehow. "Right... My bad... You would be a cute couple, though." He said before stepping onto the platform.

Conner was the stiffest he's ever been in his entire life. His face a dark red and his eyes glued on the floor. 

Once in the zeta tube, Dick looked up. "Alright... Let’s do this."

  
  


They made it up to the tower faster than Dick could even process, the pressure in his head made him feel slightly queasy and sick. His head throbbed and the pain showed in his expression before he placed his fingers against his temples and closed his eyes tightly. Connor frowned and placed a hand on Dick's shoulder before using his TK to rub his back and gently massage his scalp. Dick accepted it at first then shortly after gave Connor a strange look. Once they arrived to their location he turned his attention elsewhere, his eyes met a beautiful blue with a fiery red dragging out the gorgeous color. Dicks jaw dropped slightly, his heart rate picked up and he looked like a teenager staring down their first crush. 

"This is Barbara." Connor said with a softly nudge which made Dick shut his jaw, swallow and look away with a soft blush. It was a far more shy outcome in comparison to his usual confident flirtatiousness he met beautiful girls with. 

"Uh.. Hi.."

"Hi, Boy Wonder." Barbara replied with an easy tone and smile. She approached him and put her hands on his shoulders before pulling him into a hug. "I know you don't remember me. That's okay. I'm just glad you're alive." Barbara stated by the side of Dick's head before pulling back to look at him. "Don't worry us like that again."

"You aren't going to start harassing Dick without me are you?" Jason asked, approaching from behind Babs.

"Wouldn't dream of it. You've met Jason right?" Babs asked to make sure. Jason let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, he smoked a cigarette with me on the balcony a few days ago." Jason announced proudly.

Barbara shook her head, "Alfred is going to kill you."

"He'll have to catch me first." Jason finished the banter by looking at Dick. 

"Anyway ..." Barbara let her hands run down Dick's arms, squeezing around his forearms before letting go. "There are a lot of people here that want to see you. If you need a break let us know, no one will get upset, and if they do ... I'll punch them." She commented with a little humor.

"So you're like my own personal body guard then? Why do I feel like you're tougher than everyone here?" Dick asked as they began making their way into the next room. 

"You could think of it that way."

He stopped only to glance back and Tim and Connor, noticing them heading into the other room. Dick followed Barbara and got settled in the room he was going to meet everyone in. He sat down but was on the edge of the couch, clearly feeling too antsy to just relax. He didn't know why he was so nervous, but asking for a cigarette wasn't too far out of the question though... He questioned whether or not it'd upset Barbara. His eyes slowly trailed back over to her as he watched her fondly.

Barbara saw how on edge Dick was almost instantly. Maybe Dick didn't remember everything, but his body language was as loud as ever. She went to the fridge in the open area, grabbing a six pack of spiked cider and brought it over to the table. She used her bare hands to break off the top of two bottles, handing one to Dick..

"Here, it'll help you relax a little." Babs explained, sitting down next to him so their thighs were touching. She nudged him a little with her shoulder and gave him another easy smile. 

"You never could sit still." Barbara reminded him in case he forgot that too. "You told me it was because of growing up in the circus. That there was always so much going on you weren't able to sit. I personally thought it was because of all the sugar you ate." She kept the topic light in hopes of bringing Dick back down to a more stable state of mind. 

He looked at Barbara and offered a soft smile before chuckling softly, "Yeah... I heard my diet wasn't the best... I was eating some kind of vegetable stir fry and Damian acted like it was the end of the world... Alfred explained to me that I usually eat very few vegetables and usually eat a lot of cereal.. And here I thought I was a vegetarian."

How couldn't he? There was hardly any meat in the fridge and with how rigid Bruce was, Dick had assumed the whole family was on a strict diet. 

"I think I'm ready... I don't know how these people are but... If we could do the quiet ones first, that would be nice... That teleporting tube hurt my head." He admit, his head was in a very fragile state that the moment. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Out in the waiting area, Bart took to pacing around. "What if he decided he doesn't wanna see us?"

"It's Dick, man, of course he'll want to see us!" Gar responded as though the notion was completely ridiculous. 

Bart stopped in his steps and looked at the other. "Will he? He lost his memory... Haven't you guys heard of that one guy?" He asked snapping his fingers, "Took a pole through the head, became a completely different person?"

"I'm sure if Dick changed that much they would've told us." Beast Boy argued.

Raven sighed, she had been trying to meditate but... It was too loud here. She stopped hovering and her feet touched the ground as she slowly stood, "We shouldn't expect him to be the same.. We shouldn't have any expectations of him.. And if you do, then you're not ready to see him."

"You guys are going to give Wally am aneurysm." Donna commented, looking over to the speedster who was pulling at his own hair.

"Already there!" Wally responded shooting his head up and speeding over to the door and pressing himself against it. "Where the hell is Connor? I need his super hearing. What is going on in there? Is he okay? Oh god, Bart is right he doesn't want to see us." 

"Wally you must relax." Starfire chipped in, taking him by the shoulders and all but dragging him away from the door. "Try deep breathing or counting sheep."

Donna and Wally shared a look before Donna decided it was her turn to correct Kori. "Counting sheep is for falling asleep."

"Oh. Well counting cute sheep may help anyway." Kori gave a little smile and patted Wally's shorter head like he was a dog. 

He pouted but just ended up resting his head on Starfire's chest. Wally usually became good friends with Dick's exs. Wally grew on just about everyone like mold in a damp basement: it was just inevitable and then very hard to get rid of. 

"Us redheads gotta stick together." Wally said and Star nodded, smiling over at Roy. "They have to let us see him or I'm going to faint."

Donna rolled her eyes, Starfire still sympathetically carried him over to the couch and sat him down with his head on her lap, petting her hands through his hair. 

The door opened, Jason slipping through and looking over the group in front of him. "He’s ready."

"He's here??" Wally tried to jump up, but Starfire's superior strength held him firmly in place. 

"Yeah, but you are last."

"You can't do that to me!" Wally replied dramatically.

"We are starting out with the most relaxed and moving down. I'm thinking Roy and Kori."

"That's favoritism." Donna spoke up, just trying to start something. Jason shot her a look.

Roy let out a heavy sigh, "Based off everything he's been through I'm guessing he'll get overwhelmed easily... I mean, when I was getting clean loud noises and high activity drove me up the wall."

"Withdrawals make you short tempered and cranky, Dick shouldn't have those symptoms." Jaime said before Bart shot up.

"UNLESS HE'S LIKE THAT GUY I TOLD YOU ABOUT!"

"I think if we're going to do this we should start with the calm and quiet people... Then from there pair the loud ones with people who balance them out." Raven commented. "Some of you, I'm sure, will trigger parts of his brain since he had a strong connection with you. We need to make sure it doesn't get to be too much."

"Ravens right... It's not about favoritism. It's about Dicks emotional and mental health." Roy said.

"I agree as well." Jason said, listening to Wally mumble something about 'boyfriend privileges'. "Raven with Gar, Wally with Donna, and Bart with Jaime. First Star and Roy because they are both going to behave, right?"

Starfire nodded, "Of course. But I'm not a child Jason, I know how to conduct myself."

Donna snickered at Jason's embarrassed expression. 

"Come on Roy." Jason called to him as Kori followed easily and waited patiently. Jason turned back to the room and looked at all of them. "Raven is in charge while we are gone." Jason said, getting a disbelieving sound from both Donna and Wally before the door shut.

Roy got up and followed Kori in, he stood beside the table and just gave Dick space. They were friends but they aren't nearly as close as Dick was with Kori.. At one time.. Dick loved her... Nearly married her.. Almost had a baby with her. They needed to connect more than most people did with him. 

"Dick ..." She whispered out and tried to hold back tears from her radiant green eyes. 

She approached slowly and sat down on the coffee table in front of him, looking over his face. "My name is Koriander or Starfire. We used to be on a team together ... I am a good friend of yours." She explained and held out her arms. "May I hug you? I have an urge to hug you." She spoke honestly. 

They'd grown distant since Dick started dating Slade, something Star had profusely disagreed with. He was an evil man and it drove a wedge further between them. Seeing Dick now though? She felt so guilty for shutting him out so easily. 

Just like before with Barbara, Dick seemed to get caught up in Starfires beauty, not that her costume helped much. The feeling he got from her was different than with Babs. A soft smile spread across his face and he nodded, "Yeah.. That's fine." He said before slowly sitting up to hug her.

She was so warm, so easy to melt into. He found that his fingers got entangled in some of her long hair as he just sat and hugged her for a bit. Roy finally came around and sat beside her on the table. 

"You've known Star for years..." He commented, not wanting to give details of their love life in case Kori wasn't wanting to share it. "I'm Roy.. I've known you since I was about 12.. You were 14... We used to get into trouble together." 

He chuckled as Dick pulled away from Kori and leaned back on the couch, "Are all my friends redheads?" Dick asked making Roy smile.

"There's that sense of humor.. You just have a thing for us soulless bastards." Roy joked. God... This was harder than he thought it would be. 

Dick smiled down at his hands, it was all he could do not to stare at the beautiful woman in front of him... He thought he was gay, this was getting confusing. His eyes shifted to the ring he still had yet to take off, there was more to learn there. He wasn't ready. 

"So... How did I meet you guys?" He asked before looking back up.

"We kissed the first time we met." Starfire said with an almost sad smile. "I'm from another planet and I didn't know the 'English'. I had just escaped my own kidnapping and I was destroying the town. You came along and just ... You were the first human I met that didn't run away in terror. I didn't understand a word you were saying, but you looked trustworthy. I always follow my instincts. So I tackled you down because you would be an easy target and kissed you." 

Dicks face flushed red, he honestly couldn't believe a beautiful woman such as her would think he was good enough to kiss... Easy target or no. Then? On top of that, it sounded as though they kissed a few times and apparently.. 

Jason cleared his throat.

"Oh! Right. I can gain a person's understanding of languages through a kiss. I've learned quite a few from you over the years, Jason too. Batman teaches you boys well." 

"Well... It's too bad I can't learn languages that way." He said before rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't remember any except for English... Obviously.. You’d be a great teacher."

Barbara shrugged her shoulders. "I knew you back when you wore scaly green underwear, it's been so long I barely remember the first time we met. Probably some repeated head trauma on my part has to do with that."

He said before looking at Barbara, his face turning a darker shade of red. "God... I saw those things in the cave. I can't believe Bruce let me wear them... I'm sorry for anyone who had to see that."

"You should've seen your disco suit and mullet." Roy pitched in. 

Dick looked mortified, "It's too bad the bullet didn't miss."

Roy rolled his eyes and kicked Dick, "Hey... We're the ones who should've taken the bullet, that thing was atrocious." He said through a chuckle before rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "We met on the field, back when I was Green Arrow’s sidekick. We became good friends but... I had a drinking and drug problem so we got distant... We were nothing more than friend but we had a fling."

" Is there anyone I didn't hook up with?" 

"That's the question we've all been asking." Roy chuckled before moving and sitting on the couch beside Dick, "You're a heartbreaker... A dog."

"Aaand I could use another cigarette." Dick said in a somewhat joking manner. He didn't need one but... It did sound nice.

Jason went to grab out his pack of cigarettes. "Coming up." He didn't need an excuse to smoke, his index finger already twitching to have a cancer stick wedged between it and his neighbor. 

Star saw the box and narrowed her eyes, shooting a perfectly aimed burst of energy at the pack, vaporizing it instantly. "No smoking! You two have Princess Lian, it's a disgusting habit." She scolded then swiftly, Jason gave Barbara a look of disbelief, she just shrugged her shoulders.

Dick chuckled then slowly looked at Barbara, "Were we involved?"

"Yes." She answered frankly. "Not as long as you and Starfire. Also it was definitely more off than it was on in duration. We are better as friends and work well as a  _ platonic _ team." Barbara said happily. 

Dick and her had a good relationship and she had no regrets about their time spent together. They both grew so much from it and came out better people with a life long friend at the end of everything. Sure they loved each other but by now she accepted they weren’t meant to be.

  
  
  


Next there was quick visits from Jaime, Bart, Gar, and Rachael. 

Last, was Wally and Donna. Surprisingly though, Wally declined to see Dick. Instead, he wrote him a letter. Explaining that they were best friends but knowing he would be too much for Dick to process at the moment. A surprisingly level headed decision from the speedster. It gave Dick a number to call and text when he needed to talk to someone, signed with xoxo and hearts. 

Once it was just Barbara and Dick she sat herself back down on the couch next to Dick and put her arm around his shoulder, rubbing his arm until she could pull him down onto her lap, rubbing a hand on his side still. 

"I like them.. I can see why I've been their friend... I wanna get to know them again I just need.. Time." He explained, "You smell good." 

"Thanks ... Actually I'm pretty sure you picked out this scent for me on Christmas." Barbara said thinking back and remembering with a nod. Flowery, but sweet, with just a kick of spice. Barbara in a nutshell.

"So, I think we need to talk about a few things."

"Things about us or about my life before all this?"

"Neither. About your future." 

Babs took one of Dick's hands in her own and began massaging down the joints of Dick's fingers. This was a massage technique the acrobat had taught her that could put her to sleep in minutes.

"You don't remember anything and you might never. Honestly? That's okay. It's unfortunate, but reality tends to lean that way." She started down Dick's palm. "Tim and Jason told me you were struggling with your relationship to your past self ... And the relationships your past self had." Barbara knew it was about Slade even before the boys told her what was going on. "So, Boy Wonder ... What's on your mind?"

"Well... There's a lot of things on my mind." He admit, his hand closing around hers so he was holding it. "I'm still learning about my past.. Deciding who I want to become. I want to be a good man. One who treats women like you right or... Men... Whatever it is I'm into. I want to help people... I don't know if I want to wear tights and a cape but... I don't know, maybe become a doctor..." 

Dick fell silent as his eyes broke away from Barbara's, "I... Want to find Slade... I don't expect him to be with me but.. We seemed happy together. I wanna know what about him... Us... Made that happen. I want to know what kind of partner I am... What I like.. I want to make sure he doesn't blame himself for what happened and... I want to give him his ring back if he decides we're better off without each other." He fell silent and turned his head to the side. "Who knows... Maybe I'll get lucky and meet a pretty girl like you."

Barbara listened and felt her heart break for Dick. Before he never would have considered giving up his life as a vigilante, but it was more than that. What she heard when she listened to Dick was that he felt lost. Babs remembering Dick felt that way on a much smaller scale before he met Slade. 

"You two were  _ very _ happy together." Barbara admitted with a faint smile. "At first, I didn't agree with your relationship. I was sure Slade was up to something, but he proved me wrong, spectacularly wrong." Babs looked down at Dick's hand. "If there is one thing I can answer to give you some insight ... I think Slade does blame himself for what happened." 

"Slade had a family once. He has two kids that are your and Jason's age. His wife and first child died because of his activities. He feels very responsible for their deaths. He told Bruce the same thing after you were shot and ... You  _ were _ shot because the man who fired the gun was after Slade."

"But Slade didn't pull the trigger... I don't know what happened but I sound like the kind of guy who would've taken a bullet for anyone... And you know... I'm guessing that guy meant to shoot me but.. Slade shouldn't blame himself for it. From what I hear, if he had control over it, he would've stopped it." Dick explained softly before sighing, "I don't remember him so I can't say I need him in my life but... I think he deserves some peace of mind."

"I know you don't remember anything ... But you still sound like Dick." Barbara gave him a reassuring smile before going quiet, her face looking thoughtful. 

"I'm going to give you advice from two sources. The first will be from me, the second? It'll be from yourself." Barbara decided it was the best course of action. "I will tell you that seeing Slade may not give him peace of mind. His trauma runs so much deeper than just your incident. I think that's why he left you like he did. I don't think it was because he didn't love you, or because he didn't want to marry you. I think Slade genuinely believes that by leaving you that you'll be safe and happy. He's... A villain type. Maybe more of an antihero since he started dating you but his life was very cruel and merciless to him, as he was to others.”

"What I'm trying to say is that unless  _ you _ have a desire to be with him, then leave him alone. He's trying to do what is best for you and I have no doubt it's difficult. You coming by and then leaving him again might hurt him more than help him."

Now? Dick's point of view ... Shit hopefully this Dick didn't look at him crazy. "Now, Dick Grayson? He would tell you about the long nights we had drinking wine where he would go on for  _ hours _ about how much he loved Slade Wilson. How good Slade was to him and that he had never felt this way for anyone else. Dick Grayson would tell you to go see him, tell him to stop blaming himself, give you the attention and care you deserve from him. You'd also mention how he always knew  _ exactly _ how to take care of you. What you needed, wanted ... Even if it wasn't clear to you." Barbara sighed and chuckled a little. "You were so head over heels for him ... Though, when he looked at you, it was obvious he felt the same."

Barbara helped Dick slowly sit up so he had to fully focus when she said this next part, looking him dead in the eye. "No matter what I, or anyone else says though ... You need to do what is right for you. Not Dick Grayson of the past or the future ... The one that is here right now. The one I'm talking to. You don't have to be the same, different ... Don't let 'expectations' rule you. Let your heart and mind lead your choices ... Fuck what anyone else has to say."

"You're right.." He said after a long while. 

Looking at his hands, he slowly pulled the ring off of his finger and just held it silently for a moment, "Finding him will only hurt him... Both of us.... I don't miss him. I can't because I don't remember him. And I need to accept that seeing him won't make me happy because right now? I need to balance my life... Figure myself out.. Thank you.. That clears a lot up for me." He said before turning and hugging Barbara tightly.

Barbara hugged him back, squeezing him harder than before. "You'll get this all figured out and we are here for you. I'm here for you." Barbara promised with serious intent. 

She'd be as present or distant as Dick needed her to be ... After how Dick took care of her while she was in a wheelchair? She owed him more than she could ever repay in this lifetime. That wasn't why she was doing this though. Barbara was doing it because Dick Grayson deserved to have someone on his side. Everyone did.

There was the sound of footsteps coming down the corridor. Tim emerged, his Red Robin uniform had been stripped away. He was in a Superboy t-shirt (obviously not his own), black leggings, hair a bit of a mess, face a little flush, lips red.

"Hey ... Um ... How did everything go?" Tim asked, looking a little sheepish.

"Okay. I think it's about time everyone went home for the night." Barbara suggested, fully taking in Tim's state. 

"Oh. Of course. I'll get ready to take him unless ... Barbara would you-?"

"I'll get him back to the Manor. Why don't you get back to Superboy's room?"

"Thanks Babs I ..." Tim flushed a deep red as she so calmly called him out. "Please don't tell Bruce." Tim said immediately after, Barbara just laughed.

"I won't, promise." She said as she rose from the couch and offered Dick a hand. "Come on, Boy Wonder, let's get you home."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be a little harder than the first two chapters, here Dick is falling apart at the seems. Lost in heartbreak and depression. He feels like he can't rely on everyone and is too guarded to know how to let them in. Here we will see Dick's struggle at self discovery, walk with him through disgusting and uncharacteristic behaviors as he explores every part of his humanity. I promise it's not permanent and we will see Dick begin piecing himself back together and becoming the lovely person we all know him to be.

Damian came back from his first night back with Bruce since before Dick's accident. He felt a familiar burn in his extremities, the slowly fading high of adrenaline, and could still imagine the cold Gotham air billowing around him as he swung from roof to roof. He was sure his Father had taken the scenic route to their bust, visiting all of Dick (and his own) favorite launching and grappling points. The ones that made ones stomach drop into their feet, that allowed one to arch sharply or almost glide so it truly did feel like flying.

He enjoyed it, even smiled, but he'd been conflicted with sadness. When he made a cool flip landing or took the drops a little  _ too _ close for comfort, Bruce scolded him for being careless and wasting energy. Dick? He would have given him a high five and praised his increasing talent and body mechanics. He missed that ... He never thought he could miss Dick more than he did when he stopped being Batman and went back to being Nightwing. Unfortunately, Damian had been wrong.

This imposter of a brother walking around in Dick's skin made him uncomfortable. He didn't smile like Dick, didn't force Damian into hugs or ask how school went. Actually? Dick barely seemed to notice Damian existed. Sure, he was purposefully avoiding him but ... He was still mad about it.

Robin began the strictly regimented routine he went into after patrol. First, he stripped off all his uniform and categorized each piece as washable, wipeable, or other. Washables in the laundry hamper, wipeable neatly organized on his bench, and others put away or stuck into the autoclave. Damian would not run around in a dirty suit.

Next he bathed thoroughly, tended to any injuries, and collected any items needing maintenance to be brought up to his room. They would be cleaned, sharpened, or calibrated before Damian started his hour long stretches on the floor. 

That’s when he heard a yell coming from Dick’s room.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" 

The sound was followed by a loud crash. Damian felt every hair on the back of his neck stand up straight at the sound. His conscious mind clicking off for a few seconds as be processed what to do. However, his body had already decided for him.

The cold metal of the door handle turning under his fingers made him snap back into his own mind. Without the same gumption that brought him to Dick's door Damian cautiously entered the room. He found the culprit of the sound, a half shattered lamp laying on the floor, still wobbling back and forth as it attempted to roll to a stop. His eyes moved up to the disheveled bed and finally landed on Dick's panic laden face. He was coated in sweat and must have been in the middle of what Damian called a 'level 5' nightmare. 

"Grayson..." Damian called, stepping forward, being cautious of what Dick might do in his altered state. 

Amnesia or not, Damian knew better than most from sparing with Dick that he could throw a punch. Yet, he ventured closer into the danger zone, raising his voice higher. 

"Grayson! ... It's... A dream... It's not real." Damian tried, reaching out to touch Dick's shoulder. "Wake up. You need to wake up."

Dick could hear the faint sound of Damian's voice breaking through his subconscious. The sharp pain of metal tracing down his spine in a way that felt more real than a dream. Finally, Damian's words shook him and Dick sat up fast, panting hard. His mouth was open for a while as he tried catching his breath before closing it and breathing hard through his nose. Every muscle in his body tense before his body began shaking and eyes started watering. 

He didn't remember his nightmare, he just felt pure dread. He wanted to curl into himself and cry but that seemed far too vulnerable to do in front of this kid... He closed his eyes and silently put a hand over his face, has tensed as he tried to bring himself down enough to talk to the kid ... What would he say? What could he say? It didn't matter... 

"Sorry.." He muttered before shaking his head. "I didn't... Mean to wake you." His voice was still trembling.

"I was already awake." Damian answered honestly, eyes scanning over Dick, an uncharacteristically worried look on his features. "I was out on patrol. I'm your third ... Or fourth successor to Robin." 

Depended on who one might count as Robin or not. Not everyone who branded the tights got the official title. 

"You need to breathe slowly, deeply in through your nose, out through your mouth on a ten count." Damian was literally repeating Dick's words back to him, his heart twisted painfully.

Damian moved onto the bed, pushing Dick's legs a little bit to get him to move over. "We all get night terrors. You and Todd more than anyone else." Damian explained, pulling the blanket up over his legs and smoothing out the surface. "You told me once it was part of the job." 

Damian fell into silence for a few moments, staring down at his hands. Maybe another conversation to distract him? Or should he ask him to talk about it? He didn't know.

"I'm not good at ... This but ... I'll stay with you ... If you want me to." Damian offered tentatively, not able to even look at Dick when he spoke. He was preparing for rejection, the same rejection he'd been avoiding since Dick woke up.

As he sat next to him here and now though ... Damian didn't want to leave. The smell of Dick's bedroom was so comfortingly familiar, the weight of Dick's larger body sinking into the mattress next to him, even the feel of his sheets ... It was everything that indicated that his brother, his Batman, his father figure, was here but ... He wasn't really. The idea made him clench the bedding into a fist, but his face remained otherwise calm.

Dick slowly ran a hand through the peach fuzz that started growing on his head before letting out a sigh. "I... I don't know why but... I don't want to be alone." 

He admitted in a tone that was all too familiar. It was the sound that occured in Dick’s voice as he neared a breakdown. "I'm not your responsibility but... If you don't mind staying..." He trailed off and looked at the boy.

"I don't mind." Damian said immediately after, but trying not to sound too excited about it and it seemed like he was right to do so.

"You're...Damon? Right? Bruce's kid...."

"Damian." He corrected quietly.

"He mentioned that you and I used to be close... Alfred said that you were closer to me than you are with Bruce... It's... Bittersweet. I can imagine how hard this is for you." Talking about this wasn't... Easy mainly because he didn't want to hurt Damian but... He figured it was necessary.

"I... Want to let you know that I've decided to move on with my life... I'm not going to continue looking into who I was. I'm... Putting my attention on who I want to be... I'm looking at schools to become a doctor, looking at jobs, looking for my own place. I.. Don't want to cut you out of my life because I know how important it is for you to have me... And.. I just want you to understand I'm not the same person. I don't think I can be as... Perfect as everyone describes me.." He chuckled and slowly laid back down, his body a decent distance away from Damians rather than up against him cuddling. This Dick wasn't as touchy feely. "We should... Go back to sleep."

Dick wasn't just telling Damian that he didn't remember him, but he was also saying that he planned on moving on from all this, from being Nightwing, from being his partner in heroics and ... Even if he said he didn't want to cut Damian out if his life, this confession sounded like that's exactly what he wanted to do.

Damian fell silent, giving a short, nearly imperceptible nod as Dick said they should go back to sleep. Damian flicked the lights off from just next to the headboard but stayed sitting up, pulling his knees close to his chest. He didn't make a sound, nor did he move an inch other than to lay his head on top of his legs and squeezed the front of his calves. Hot tears fell, drops creating splatters on his pants. 

How was he supposed to do all this without Dick? Father and himself were doing better as of late. He could tell Bruce was trying and they could even hug now without Damian trying to throw a fit. However, it was never going to be like it was with Grayson. He already missed him after only a few weeks of Dick being 'gone'. How was he supposed to live the rest of his life like that? 

  
  


Damian stayed by Dick's side like he promised he would. He waited for the sounds of Dick's even breathing before he even thought of moving. After another half an hour he crawled out of bed slowly, heading for the door and pausing to look back once more. Why did this feel like goodbye?

Damian left with a fresh trail of tears down his cheeks, he was quick to wipe them away and silently curse himself for being so weak. Al Ghuls didn't need anyone, they were self sufficient, strong and ... He was a Wayne too. Damian didn't go back to his bedroom like he planned. In fact, he headed further down the halls until he found the Master bedroom. 

This was the first time Damian had gone to his Father's room like this. He always went to Dick, or just called him if he was staying at Slade's.

"Father..."

Damian whispered from the side of the bed, sure that Bruce was already well aware of his presence. This was Batman after all. 

"... My room is too cold. I'm going to stay in here tonight." 

His voice only cracked slightly as he lied, his eyes still red and glassy from crying. He had to be strong ... That's what Dick would want him to do. ... Right?

Naturally Bruce shifted to the left to give Damian room before propping himself up, "You alright?"

"Fine." Damian lied again, turning his back to his father as embarrassment took over him. 

Yes this was his Dad, but it was also his mentor and Batman. He didn't want to appear weak or impacted … He couldn't survive being benched right now on top of everything else. He needed to be able to punch baddies and solve cases. 

Damian gave in though, but not fully. Holding back his tears, Damian turned to face Bruce, choosing to look down at the man's chest rather than his face.

"Grayson ... Had a nightmare. He started slow, trying to temper and even his voice. "He ... Told me he's leaving. That he doesn't want his old life anymore. Doesn't want ... Us to be ... Close." 

Saying it outloud made it too real, his eyes started to brim with tears even as he tried so hard to hold them back.

These last few weeks had been hard enough. Damian was recovering from his own injuries when Dick was hurt, he needed him then, and now? He was realizing he'd never have it again and it was breaking his small heart.

"He was the first person I ever trusted ... Now ... I don't-" He stopped and shut his eyes, wetness slipping through and coating his lashes. "... Father what do I do?"

All of this had been incredibly hard for Bruce. Dick saved him from himself. Dick was everything Batman was supposed to be and with each passing day that was crumbling. Dick wasn't Richard John Grayson. He was... Something else...  _ Someone _ else. Sure, he still had heart, ambition and love but... Bruce would be lying if he said he didn't miss his boy.

He missed having Dick cracking cheesy jokes. Missed the smell of cereal in the morning... Missed the light attitude looming around... But... He was glad Dick could finally be happy... Whenever he healed enough to stop making poor choices. He was disappointed in the sleeping around. The smoking.. But, he figured once Dick got his footing he'd feel better. 

Now... Damian was losing Dick. Losing him even more than Bruce was. He let out a quiet sigh and shifted to pull Damian into his arms and against his chest, a hand moving to his hair while his mouth moved to rest against Damian's head. Damian stiffened slightly however, unlike most times, Damian not only relaxed into his father's touch, he moved into it. His forehead rested against Bruce's sternum, one hand reaching around to grasp Bruce's bicep. 

"Neither do I.... I... I knew he'd be different but... I thought he'd want to be involved. Want to learn about us.. About his past life. But... He doesn't and we need to let him make that choice no matter how badly it hurts us." Bruce had to take a couple deep breaths to steady himself as he closed his eyes, "And... This will hurt for a while and I'm here for you Damian... You don't have to struggle or hurt alone."

"It isn't fair." Damian started defiantly, shaking his head a little against Bruce. 

"This isn't his fault, but it isn't ours either. We ... Love him, it should be enough. He's being so selfish." Damian didn't view the world like the rest of the family did. 

He grew up in an  _ entirely _ different culture than they did. It was a classic individualism versus collectivism battle theology.

Bruce would believe that Dick, as an individual, deserved to be happy no matter what the consequences to himself were. Damian believed that Dick should consider the effect his behaviors were having on his family and friends before making decisions that affected  _ all _ of them. Neither was right or wrong, it was about perspective.

"He doesn't have to be Nightwing, he can become a Doctor or whatever. It's a waste of his talents and years of training but ..." 

Damian needed to try and focus on his feelings rather than facts. Dick was always reminding him of that. 

"I don't want him to stop being my brother too." Finally, Damian choked.

He began crying again, his small, yet strong hands gripped at Bruce's arm and he began to curl in against the other's larger frame. "Why aren't we enough? What does he think he can find out there that we can't give him here? What does he think he's missing? We are his family!" Damian about yelled, but tried to take some soothing breaths. 

"Why aren't we enough?" He repeated with more sorrow than anger, but also confusion. They used to be enough didn't they? Dick was so happy with them. Even if his memories were gone, they were all still here weren't they?

... Well Wilson wasn't, but that, in Damian's mind was probably for the better ... Right?

Bruce silently held Damian just letting him get all that pain and sorrow out. One hand in his hair while the other rubbed circles in his back. He truly felt Damian's words. Felt that sting. Has had some of those thoughts. He let out a heavy sigh and shifted so he was more on his back allowing Damian to curl up to his side and rest his head over his heart. 

"It's not... That we're not good enough for him... Dick is.. Dick needs to rediscover himself."

Bruce paused to think over his words, "He can't be the same person and can't move on if we hold him back and insist he's the same. We need to give him space and freedom... Offer support however we can and let him decide what role he wants us to play in his life.... I'll talk to him later. I don't think he wants to cut us out. I think he just needs time."

Damian just nodded, listening to his father as he closed his eyes, listening to Bruce's heartbeat through his chest. It was slow and strong from years of training, to Damian it was like a lullaby. "I don't need him to be the same ... I just don't want him to give up on me." Damian hushed out, having calmed down physically, but his mind was still racing despite his exhaustion. 

Damian shut his eyes, letting his body relax, whispering out in his native language. "أبي انا أحبك" <I love you Dad> before falling asleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dick was still getting on his feet, he forgot where half the things in Gotham were but with the help of his GPS finding Jason's was a breeze. He drove carefully having remembered how to though he was always cautious considering his head was still sensitive. Today was a warmer day and it was often disorienting. As he pulled into Jason's driveway he took one last puff of his cigarette, eyes focusing on the faint sunset that shone in his rear view mirror. It was beautiful, at least the most beautiful thing he's seen in this town. 

He didn't get it. This town was wicked and vile. Full of awful people and there wasn't much scenery but... It felt like home.... Yet, it didn't. Dick felt like he needed to move. He thought back to what Barbara had said about him being in the circus, about never being able to sit still. He knew he traveled a lot growing up and it made him wonder if it was the cause for home never feeling like home... Or maybe it was something else he was missing. He felt empty, he couldn't explain it. There was something lost to him but with no memory he didn't know what it was. He didn't know if it was someone, something, or somewhere. 

With a sigh Dick put out his cancer stick and stepped out of the car before heading to Jason’s front door. 

Within seconds everything went black and he was on the stairs. He must've moved too fast. Dick groaned and shifted to stand when an intense pain shot up his leg. He shifted and held his knee taking some deep breaths to steady himself before slowly pulling himself to his feet. "Ah." He whimpered slightly as he put some weight on it.

  
  


"Dad!" Lian yelled, waiting for an answer. No answer. "JayJay!" 

"Yeah Lian?" Jason called from the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on dinner.

It was a Friday night, so Jason threw healthy to the side and just cooked something purely for the unhealthy deliciousness of it. Jason made a classic spaghetti, meatballs, fried polenta and garlic bread.

"So, I know you told me to stop spying on the neighbors ... And I totally  _ was no _ t doing that when I saw this ... But there is some guy that just fell on our stairs." Lian squinted. "Wait a minute ... I think it's Uncle Dick..." 

Jason was already out of the kitchen by the time Lian finished speaking. He went to the door, hearing the doorbell just before he began deactivating his security system and unlocking his front door. He opened it and looked him up and down. Favoring one leg, face a little pale, looking a little unwell. 

"Woah, hey there big bird." Jason said, opening the door and standing to the side so he could come inside. "You feeling alright?"

Dick offered the best smile he could muster, which was a little weak on his part. 

"Hey." He said before waving a hand, "I'm fine, just.... Moving quickly and heat don't mix when you've been shot." It’s been a couple months but Dick was still healing, these things took time. "I think I passed out." He said before limping his way inside, a sharp hiss escaping him. "I think I just need ice." He said before taking a seat at the counter. 

"You look like you're in rough shape." Roy commented with a chuckle before approaching and getting Dick an ice pack. 

Dick applied it to his knee and shook his head, "I'm fine... Just.. Healing." He said with a shrug, "Do you guys have beer?"

"No, but we have apple juice." Roy responded. 

"I'll just have water." Dick said before leaning against the counter. 

"So, what has the great big Dick been up to? How's college hunting?"

"It's going good, I found a school in New York I'm interested in. I just have to figure out how to get there, I don't want Bruce or anyone else to have to pay for it, so I'm trying to find a job.... Which is hard since I don't know what I'm good at."

Jason watched carefully from the counter as he finished up dinner, instructing Lian to set the table after he put the plates down on the counter. They weren't expecting Dick for dinner, but Jason always made enough for extra guests. 

"I have some connections in New York. You used to be a police officer, gymnast, circus performer ... I'm sure we can find you something even with that strange resume." Jason explained as he started moving the large dishes of pasta, sauce, bread, and polenta to the table. He couldn't forget the parmesan either. "I have a safe house there, little studio ... You could crash there if you wanted. I'm not using it."

"I was those things." Dick corrected Jason, "I don't remember how to be those things now. I shouldn't dive into anything too crazy. I was thinking maybe working at a cafe or bar to start... Until I learn about myself my options are limited." He said before sipping some of his water. 

He didn't mind the support and help but... Dick didn't want to feel helpless. He didn't want to feel like a burden. 

"I'll take your safe house if you charge me rent, I don't want special treatment." Dick said as Roy returned with the ibuprofen.

"First month free?" He pitched earning an eye roll from Dick. 

"Fine." Richard chuckled and got up and limped over to the table, he'd help but he didn't want to drop shit everywhere.

Jason didn't question Dick's wanting to pay rent. Matter of fact he understood what he was going through. When he came back from the dead and revealed his existence to Bruce the man tried to give Jason everything. He offered him apartments, vehicles, monthly allowances and Jason turned it all down because he wasn't going to rely on anyone. He was going to do it himself. It was a hard road to follow, but he learned a lot from it. 

But ... That wouldn't stop Jason from charging an absolutely  _ minuscule _ amount for rent and make sure the utilities stayed in his name. They had the budget to help Dick out and it was the least he could do for his older brother. 

"Does your head get cold?" Lian asked, gazing up at Dick with wide eyes. 

Roy scoffed, "Sweetie-"

"No, no, she's good." Dick chuckled, "Yeah... My head gets pretty cold. I have a beanie in the car I wear on cool days."

"Does your head hurt?"

"Sometimes, but that’s normal."

"Oh... Well... You're still pretty." Lian said before Roy picked her up and kissed her cheek.

"Yes he is."

"He'll always be a pretty bird. I don't think that's ever going to change." Jason commented, bringing a pitcher of water to the table and a special glass of chocolate milk for Lian at her spot. 

He served her first, cutting up her food quickly before she could see. Lian was an independent girl who wanted to do things by herself but ... God Jason didn't want to deal with another spaghetti mess tonight. 

"Alright let's eat so Dick and I can go out. Are you still painting Dad's nails tonight?" Jason asked. 

"Yes." She answered proudly. 

Jason smiled and moved over to where Roy was holding her, kissing her forehead and then kissing Roy on the lips in a quick yet adorable manner. They were definitely a family. 

They sat down to plates of warm food, Lian asking Dick questions and then telling some long story about some kid that had to shave his head at school and looked like a cue ball. 

"They were picking on him, so I told them I would kick their ass-"

The doorbell rang. Jason was about to correct Lian, but gave Roy a look that asked him to handle it while he went to get the door. He wasn't expecting anyone else. 

He certainly wasn't expecting Damian. 

"You lost or something Dami?" Jason asked with his usual joking tone that got Damian riled up. This time, he barely reacted. Jason switched tactics immediately. 

Jason squatted down to Damian's level and tried to catch Damian's eyes. "Hey. You okay?"

Damian finally looked at him and nodded. "Grayson is here isn't he?" 

"Yeah ..." Jason wasn't sure what was going on, the tension felt strange. 

Damian (as far as Jason knew) had been avoiding Dick like the plague since the accident. So, the fact he was showing up on his doorstep asking about Dick was a little perplexing. Maybe he felt a little guilty? This damn kid was always so hard to read.

"We are having dinner. Why don't you join us?" Jason offered, he was surprised to see Damian actually relax at the offer. Did he think Jason would say no? 

"As long as I don't have to sit next to Miss Harper ... She's handsy." Damian announced, Jason just laughed in response. 

Lian's little crush on Damian was adorable and harmless. 

Jason came back into the dining room, Damian following behind him. "So I found a stray out front."

"Oh hey Damian." Dick said with a casual smile and a wave, it wasn't completely unusual for him save for the lack of enthusiasm. 

Lian, on the other hand, quickly scoot over and pat the chair next to her inviting Damian to sit.

"Hey, hey, Little D!" Roy smiled.

Damian let his gaze just flash over Dick before it fell to the side. "Hi." Was all he said. 

Jason really was worried about Damian ... Something was wrong, he could just feel it. However, they wouldn't be able to have time away from the family until after dinner ... And Jason would make time for him. 

Jason put a large hand on Damian's head, ruffling his hair which caused Damian to swat up at him. Jason chuckled a little before smoothing back the little one's black hair into place and watching as Damian nearly pushed into his hand like a touch starved cat. Maybe he was missing the personal and physical attention Dick gave him on a daily basis. People needed human touch, even the weirder ones like Damian. 

Damian looked at the open seats and all but growled when he saw the only one open was the one next to Lian. The other seat was occupied by the family cat who was napping peacefully ... Damian wasn't going to move him. Damian moved over and sat next to Lian, scooting a little closer to Jason at the head of the table.

"Miss Lian." Damian greated with a short nod as Jason gave Damian a vegetarian serving of the spaghetti dinner.

"I can serve myself Todd I'm not a child."

"In this house you are." Jason said back, a small smile on his face. "My rules say no adult things and plenty of childish fun. I know ... It's torture for you." 

"Hell more like." Damian muttered taking a bite and making much the same face Dick had earlier. "Almost as good as Pennyworth's."

Dick turned back towards the table, he could feel the slight tension in the room but couldn't put his finger on it. It looked like he still had his intuition he just didn't remember what things meant what and.. Unlike his former self... Elected to ignore the feelings. 

"This is really good, Jason." Dick complimented after taking a bite.

"Isn't it? My honey makes the best food in the world." Roy swooned.

"I bet Damian can cook really good." Lian said with a large cute smile.

"Damian knows how to make 'survival food'." Jason used air quotes because he had no idea what that meant. "But ... Thanks. I had a good teacher." Alfred of course.

Dinner included small talk, Jason asking Lian about school, Damian the same. They spoke briefly about vigilante work, only because Damian brought up the need for a partner on the streets in a couple weeks.

  
  
  


"Alright, Lian can you start bringing dishes to the kitchen? Roy you can handle dishes right?" Jason needed to talk to Damian and Dick.

He didn't have time to clean up. Roy nodded and got up to work on the dishes like the good housewife he was. 

"Are we supposed to just keep pretending this is normal now?" Damian spoke up finally, gripping the table. Jason felt his heart sink because he should have known this was coming.

"Dami, listen-" Jason tried to interfere, but it was too late. Damian was looking up from the table and directly at Dick. 

"This is wrong." Damian squeezed the table ledge hard. "I tried leaving you alone, I tried helping you, everything. Yet you shut me out and I'm just supposed to sit by and pretend that's okay?" 

Jason's eyes went wide, oh this was bad. He began rounding the table.

"I hate you. You made me care! You forced me to! This isn't fair! You're supposed to be my partner!" Damian stood up and Jason put hands on his shoulders. "Let go, Todd!"

"Kiddo. This isn't the time." Jason pulled him back from the table and shot Roy a look that read, 'help please'. 

He needed someone to take Dick out of the room. "I know you are upset. I get it-"

"Damian.." Dick started calmly but it was too late. 

"You don't! I hate him. I hate Wilson for doing this! It isn't fair!" Damian's eyes started pricking with tears. 

"Okay. Everyone out of the dining room now." Jason commanded, the cat even let out an annoyed murph as it slinked out to the living room. Jason needed to talk to Damian privately before he stormed out and Jason could tell he wanted to.

He understood Damian from a personal perspective a lot more than he did the other bats. He knew what it was like to feel disconnected and angry. Jason also knew what it was like to feel a sense of 'family' only to have it ripped out from under him. Jason could let Damian run away and let the subject drop, but he knew that wouldn't be best for the kid.

As Roy came in to get Dick, the male stood up and pushed Roy away, "You know what? No, Damian... It isn't okay." Dick snapped, "It’s not okay how you expect me to be the same damn person. Dick Grayson is  _ dead _ , Nightwing is  _ dead _ . They got shot in the head and now all you have is me and I'm _ sorry _ but the last person I want in my life is a spoiled self centered brat who expects me to pretend to be someone I'm not. Get over it." 

With that, Dick grabbed his jacket and made his way outside.

Roy was speechless. Dick never would've.... He had to stop himself from finishing the thought.... Dick was dead... He sighed and took his hat off to push his hair back before picking Lian up and leaving the room, she didn't need to be around this.

Jason on the other hand was seeing red. Damian didn't deserve that. He was a fucking kid! What the hell was wrong with Dick? Head injury or not, he didn't need to be such a jackass. Not to mention Dick put his hands on Roy which was fifteen types of not okay. 

Jason was ready to snap back when he heard a small sniff below. His head turned down and he saw Damian rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand and then the palm of it. Jason didn't miss the wetness there, or how his eyes were glistening. He wanted to go confront Dick and punch him square in the face but ... He had to do what Dick wasn't willing to at the moment ... Put his family first.

"Dami ... He doesn't mean that. He's in a bad place right now." Jason tried, Damian didn't respond except to turn away from him. "Damian ..." Jason squatted down and went to turn the kid around.

"Don't touch me!" 

"Okay. I won't." Jason replied calmly, which seemed to surprise Damian enough to face him. "You know ... I used to hear him say shit like that about me to Bruce when we were younger. I always thought it was about me but really he was just upset in general, mostly with Bruce ... But. He didn't know how to communicate it so he lashed out." Jason tried to explain, Damian shook his head. 

"He was right ... I am selfish and spoiled." 

"All kids are, Damian. It's just part of being a child. You shouldn't  _ have _ to worry about anyone else but yourself and your own actions. You deserve to be spoiled every once in a while." He put a hand on Damian's shoulder and felt relief when Damian didn't push him off again. "This situation is unfair to you. You don't have to worry about it anymore though. I've got your back." 

Damian and Jason shared a breath of silence together before Damian nodded. "Can I stay here for a bit?"

"Kiddo, you can stay here as long as you want. Mi casa tu casa."

"You ruined the moment, Todd." Damian muttered which just made Jason smile and messed up his hair again. 

Next time Jason saw Dick, he was giving him a piece of his mind. This shit wasn't going to fly.

  
  
  
  


Dick had gone to one of his usual pubs, it was amazing he even had the money to come here as often as he did. Honestly he used whatever money he earned from helping Alfred around the manor, he couldn't stand the free money Bruce tried to give him. He sat down and ordered his usual, within an hour he was already hit was a hard buzz.

"You sure you want more?"

"Yeah, just... Keep it coming, maybe let me buy someone cute a drink."

"Guy or gal?"

"Whatever." Dick said with a shrug.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do with himself, he felt like he was at rock bottom. He couldn't go to his friends or family because as much as they said they were there for him... He was realising they were there for a ghost. He couldn't even eat curried cauliflower without them acting like it was the first stage of the apocalypse. 

He sighed into his glass and shook his head, "I gotta get out of this town..." He grumbled to himself.

"I've heard you say that one before." The man nearly leaned over Dick to grab his drink from the bar. "It's ... Been a while. Funny seeing you here looking ... Are you drunk?" 

The man was tall, with fiery red hair and a quite obvious Irish accent. "You and I used to have a fun time together when we were drunk." Perhaps the man wasn't quite exactly sober himself. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Dick's new boyfriend or whatever stopped by the manor this morning. Alfred wouldn't even let him in the door. It was ... Weird. Eric or something?" Jason explained as he sat at the dinner table with Roy. 

Lian was dead asleep in her bedroom. So naturally Jason was paying bills and sorting through case files while Roy fixed some equipment on the other 3/4th of the table. Dobby the cat sat inside Roy's tool box, purring loudly. 

"I tried asking him about it and he said, 'Master Jason I suggest you not put your nose where it does not belong.' So naturally I shut up and walked away."

"Woah, woah, woah... Eric? Eric Langston, Eric?" Roy asked with a clearly worried expression on his face as he looked up at Jason from the equipment he was fixing. "How the hell did he wind up with that prick again?" Now he sounded angry but he quickly lowered his voice so he wouldn't wake Lian up. 

The redhead let out a heavy sigh and shook his head, "I love Dick but... Eric was by far one of his worst mistakes. They used to fight all the damn time. Like... In eachothers faces screaming at each other brutally... Eric would shove and push him. I can't tell you how many times Dick would come over and cry or just vent about how awful that guy was, only to accept a bouquet of flowers and go back to him. He's toxic." He began explaining, "We have to make him see that."

  
  


"Look, babe, I didn't mean to hit you." Eric called from the bedroom doorway, watching Dick retreat from it. "You got in my personal space, you know I can't handle my shit when people get in my personal space. I've told you that a million goddamn times." Eric sounded like he was getting wound up all over again. 

He moved out of the door-frame and behind Dick, placing a hand softly on his shoulder. "Come on, let's get some ice on your eye. I'll make you a late night snack too. Whatever you want." 

Dick tensed as he felt Erics hands on his shoulders, he didn't know why he was getting wrapped up in this mess. The only thing Eric had offered him since they started dating was the fact he didn't expect him to be the old Dick Grayson. He didn't point out everything that was different.. Or when he did, he praised it. Dick just let out a heavy sigh and shook his head before moving away from the other.

"I just want a smoke and a drink.... I'm fine." 

"We can do that too. Come on, I'll buy you a couple drinks and we can see where the night goes." Eric tried to switch up the atmosphere, giving Dick a quick kiss on the lips even though he clearly didn't want his attention. "I love this new you, babe."

  
  
  


Jason sat silently for a minute, shutting his laptop so he could focus more on this conversation. It was taking one hell of a nasty turn. 

"Dick isn't listening to anyone right now. He's going out and doing whatever, whenever he wants. Which ... Honestly isn't terrible except for the fact he makes horrible decisions when given the freedom to. Like, historically just bad judgement." Jason could really use a smoke right now.

"I haven't really spoken to him outside the manor in weeks. Guess my comments about him being 'an asshat' to Damian went over about as well as it could have." 

Jason had been so angry for the little demon spawn the words just came pouring out like hot lava. Tim of all people had pulled Jason away from the situation while Bruce handled Dick.

"So, Arsehole, what do we do?"

"Dicks just.. Lost right now." Roy sighed heavily, "He doesn't have any direction. Before it was like.. Supporting and helping people was his compass but he doesn't remember that so.. I think he's just going for whatever is tolerable... I mean he practically moved out of Bruce's." Roy pointed out having noticed how Dick's hardly over there.

"Maybe... Since he won't talk to us.. We can have Tim talk to him. I just don't want things to escalate... Last time Dick was with the guy he didn't... Get beaten. At least according to Dick but... Eric got mad and slammed his head into a wall like.. Seven times and put Dick into the hospital. If he does that to Dick now? I.. I don't know what'll happen to him"

"How is getting your head slammed into a wall seven times not a beating?" Jason asked incredulously. 

“I mean he didn’t get beaten on a regular occurrence, it was the first time and last time before Dick finally dumped him.”   
  


"Fucking Dick." He sounded irritated, but it was masked worry. Anyone who knew Jason would be able to see that. 

"I don't want to drag Tim into this. After what happened with Damian... I just don't want Dick to hurt Tim like that." Seriously, Dick was on a damn roll with this stuff. "I ... Kind of have a crazy idea." 

  
  
  
  


"Did that head injury kill all your brain cells too? Huh? Fucking answer me!" The house had signs of a fight all over it. 

Smashed glasses, overturned chairs, blood from when Eric had smacked Dick across the face earlier and injured his nose. The redhead crossed the room and grabbed Dick by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the wall. 

"You wanted to start this shit! You are always starting this shit! If you've got something to say then fucking say it!"

Dicks blood was boiling and he shoved at the other. "Fuck you! You are the most self centered, two faced asshole I have ever met! You keep saying it's my fault we broke up last time but I think last time I actually had the common sense to leave your sorry ass!" If one thing didn't change, it was Dicks mouth. 

  
  
  
  


"Are we gonna kill someone?"

"I mean, murder is always an option, but something tells me Bruce would be up my ass about that one. Especially so close to golden boy." Dick may not remember his strict moral code, but if he did one day, Jason would be in big trouble.

Abusive spouse or not. "That'll be plan B though." Jason took out his phone. "Plan A? I think we call Deathstroke." Jason frowned as he realized that Slade's number wasn't current in his phone.

"I'll get his info through my contacts. If anyone can get through to Dick it's him. Or, we get our wish and the fucker ends up dead anyway." 

Roy smirked at Jason, "That's a great idea. He'll have to come back if he knows Dick’s in trouble. I think Tim knows where he's at, maybe we can see if he can get us a number." He suggested, "And if Slade says no? We'll take Eric out... Make it look like a break in or something."

  
  
  
  


"The fuck did you just say to me?" Eric ground out as he regained his footing. Next to the couch. "After all the shit I've put up with? You're fucked in the head, Dick! Yet, here I was trying to help you and you call  _ me _ self centered? This is why your whole family hates you now, because you are a shit person." 

Eric shoved Dick back, but this time he grabbed Dick's hair afterward and shoved his face into the wall. "I'll show you what the fuck made us break up last time." Eric was so gone in his anger he didn't even notice the flashing blue and red lights outside his house, nor did he register that someone might have called the cops.

Dick didn't know what came over him but the moment his head hit the wall an overwhelming need to fight back rushed over him. He quickly elbowed Eric in the ribcage to get the other to back off enough for him to turn around. 

"Leave me alone!" Dick shouted loud and aggressive enough to warrant the police to invite themselves into the house. 

As they opened the door, Dick landed a firm and hard punch against Eric’s jaw before shoving him back hard. The cops rushed and grabbed Dick, who struggled in their grasp as they forced him into the wall to cuff him. 

"Let go!" Dick growled, they could smell the alcohol on his breath as one officer grabbed Dick roughly and began escorting him to the car. The other turned to Eric to get a statement. 

Eric threw Dick so far under the bus he would have come rolling out the other side. The cops had only seen Dick throw a punch, so naturally, they took him away and let Eric nurse his minor wounds in the apartment. 

  
  
  
  


Jason got to texting Tim and received the information he needed rapidly. Roy and him planned to call Slade tomorrow and set the whole thing up. Then, reality happened.

"Why the fuck is the Gotham PD calling me?" Jason looked at his phone and then shrugged. "Honestly they probably have more than one reason ... Whats up?" He answered the phone nonchalantly, ready to harass whichever detective was calling him, but his facial features quickly shifted. 

"I'm sorry, back up. Who asked you to call me? ... Dick Grayson? You're sure." He put his hand over the mic and whispered, 'What the fuck' to Roy across the table. 

"Does he have bail set? ... Does he have a lawyer? ... Okay well. I guess I-" Jason stopped, wheels turning, the woman on the other side of the phone must have started asking for him again. "I'm still here. Actually, I think you have the wrong number. You should be calling his fiancee's phone ... Well sure. His name is Slade Wilson, I have two phone numbers for him." 

Oh, this was better than had been originally planned. Jason had no idea why Dick was in jail, but he knew Slade wouldn't just let him sit there without intervention. 

Jason was absolutely right.

Slade got the phone call after he was finishing a job in South Carolina. The woman on the phone explained the circumstances and Slade was shocked. Dick ... In jail? Sure he had a temper but 'assault and battery' seemed completely out of character. Dick wasn't inherently violent. 

To make the situation worse, she informed Slade that this was their final phone call to family before his sentencing tomorrow morning in front of a judge at 9 A.M. Slade didn't want to get involved. He spent all these months trying to stay out of Dick's life and now he had no choice but to thrust himself back into it. 

It was six am the next morning when the rails to Dick's prison cell came sliding open. "Grayson, your lawyer is here." 

The guard grumbled, making way for a man with pushed back blonde hair and a nicely tailored suit. The bars were shut behind him, though he seemed to just ignore it. 

"Pleasant staff they have here ... I was already introduced, but my name is Damon Matthews. I'll be representing you for your bail hearing today."

"Great, a cheap attorney to try and prove my innocence..... Eric isn't going to press charges so let’s skip this whole mess.." He didn't necessarily want to out Eric for beating him but... 

He wasn't going to prison for him... He hoped if he said something he could let Eric go with a slap on the wrist... After all... Eric was the only one who liked this new him. 

"Cheap attorney? I'll have you know I charge two grand an hour, not including my booking fees of course." Damon was quick to shoot back, moving over to the small table in the room and pulling out a laptop. "Don't worry though, I've been paid up front." 

He went silent for a moment as he clicked through some files on his computer. "You're right, Eric hasn't currently pressed charges. However, the city of Gotham is charging you with disturbing the peace, disorderly conduct, and ... Assault. Seeing as the officers physically witnessed you punching your boyfriend in the face they can do that." Damon looked Dick over once. 

"They haven't given you a medical examination yet. I'll have a physician come by. You also need a shower and clean up. You look fresh out of the drunk tank and no judge will believe a word you say with alcohol still on your breath." Damon switched to his phone. "It's going to be a busy two hours, keep up."

Dick answered all of Damons questions, cooperated with his examination and got cleaned up in the shower. It felt good getting all the sweat and blood off of him. He expressed that if they told the jury about the abuse that he didn't want to press charges or get Eric sentenced to any jail time, he just wanted to be let off the hook for self defense.... And... He wanted a smoke. He was already regretting the fact he got himself this addiction cuz it was kicking his ass. 

"Is Eric going to be in court?" He questioned, Eric was going to kick his ass if he heard Dick tell everyone about what happened behind closed doors.

Damon was in the process of straightening and redoing Dick's tie for court. It was a dark blue suit, perfectly tailored with a white shirt and Nightwing blue tie underneath. Damon had said it looked, 'Very fitting'. 

"Eric? I suppose he could be if he's decided to press charges. If it becomes a problem I can ask for a short recess and explain to the judge why he shouldn't be allowed into the proceedings." Damon stepped back and looked him over. 

"Hair still needs some work." Damon picked up a small container of gel and rubbed it into his hands and worked on ruling Dick's hair back into a purposeful shape. "Don't worry too much. Your judge will be sympathetic to your situation. He's a regular Wayne Foundation donor and his son has suffered multiple concussions during sports. He should give you a slap on the wrist."

It was another half an hour before they were brought into a large courtroom. There were individuals waiting for sentencing in the benches, idle chatter filled the tall ceilings, reporters. It became obvious why Damon hadn't brought him in sooner, it would have been extremely overwhelming for someone experiencing head trauma. 

A man in his 50s came into the courtroom through a private entrance in the front. He was dressed more casually, without the judge robes and just a button up shirt and tie. He looked tired, perhaps overworked. He sat down behind the bench and slammed the gavel down hard. 

"Quiet in my courtroom!"

"Crap." Damon said under his breath. The judge seemed to be in a bad mood this morning. 

"Don't say anything unless you are asked to. Just sit there and let me do the talking." 

"First case, City of Gotham versus Richard Grayson, please step forward." The judge called. 

Damon took Dick lightly by the elbow and prompted him to sit down behind the defenses bench. 

"This is a judgement and parole hearing, correct?"

"Your honor, I submitted an appeal for dismissal early this morning." Damon spoke, handing a copy to the bailiff and some other documentation. "Mr. Grayson was examined by a physician that found several points of trauma to confirm the fact that he was a victim of the crimes he's being held for. Witness testimony from the domestic partner stated that Mr. Grayson was the primary perpetrator and attacked Mr. Langston. This evidence says otherwise. There was also several injuries that were present from prior incidents that were too old to have occurred last night. Supporting further that my client is a victim of continuing abuse by the prosecution's client. Who has done an excellent job of fooling the GCPD into believing he is the true victim here."

"Objection your honor. This is not a hearing to determine the guilt of the other party. This is about Mr. Grayson's actions the night of." The other lawyer spoke, the judge nodded.

"Keep your opinions to yourself Mr. Matthews."

"Understood." Damon replied with absolute respect.

"Police saw Mr. Grayson hit the victim when responding to the scene. Body cams can confirm this. In addition blood was found on the victim's shirt and pants."

"My client's blood. I took the liberty of expediting the results through a court approved laboratory. The victim in his statement claimed the blood was his also." 

The other lawyer floundered, looking through his own paperwork, "I haven't received any copies of the defense's test results." Damon handed the bailiff another folder to pass on to the attorney. 

The judge sat back and made a couple scrawled notes on his paper. "I'm going to go ahead and drop the charges against Richard Grayson. Finding out who was at fault in this situation will be impossible, and clearly assumptions made by the arresting officers were unfounded." The judge leaned closer to his bench, looking over at Dick. 

"I understand you had a traumatic brain injury within the last five months. I believe that this is affecting your mental well being. You've never had a run in with the law before this and ... From what I understand ... Used to be a police officer yourself in Bludhaven. I'm going to make a couple of recommendations for your release, but before I do that, I want you to tell me what post trauma services you've been receiving and what you believe was the cause of last night's events."

"I haven't received any services... My... Family... Has decided to take matters into their own hands. I think last night was... A fluke. Eric and I had been drinking and we got into a fight and things escalated. I'd never hurt him without being impaired and that was the first time it happened." 

Meaning the first time he hit Eric... Either way.. This wasn't sounding good. "I... Have been thinking since my arrest and I.. Can see in hindsight how I may have a drinking problem." 

There.. Blame it on that.. It'd hopefully get the attention off of the abusive circumstances and put the focus on helping Dick 'Sober up'.

"I think that's a safe assumption to make." The judge replied and let out a hming sound as he read over the documents in front of him. "These injuries are pretty extensive. I think until things have been sorted out that you and Mr. Langston should be kept separate. I'm issuing restraining orders effective immediately. If your relationship with Mr. Langston is something worth working on, then I will allow only supervised meetings with a court approved psychologist."

The judge then began signing off on different things, handing them to the bailiff as he went through them. "I'm also concerned about your mental state. I'm court ordering a full psychiatric evaluation and treatment plan to be established from that evaluation. They will be able to see you for your alcoholism as well."

The last part the judge seemed to hesitate on before circling something. "I'm signing an emergency custody order for you pending your psychiatric evaluation. I don't believe in your current state you are capable of making informed decisions regarding your care. You will have a guardian assigned to you by the court unless Mr. Matthews knows of a suitable personal guardian."

Damon didn't like the way this was going, but at least it would keep Dick out of jail. He looked behind him toward the sea of faces in the benches behind him. He made eye contact with someone and nodded. 

"Your honor we have a non-familial guardian in mind."

"Name and relation?"

A tall male came to stand behind Dick, just to the right of him. He also was wearing a tailored suit that framed his broad shoulders and muscular build perfectly. The dark grey of it contrasting against silver hair that extended down into well groomed facial hair along his chin and upper lip. One eye was a subtle blue, the other was ... Well missing altogether. A black patch covered the entire socket and remained in place without additional support. Roguishly handsome would be the perfect way to describe him. 

"Slade Wilson, family friend." The man spoke in a deep baritone that seemed to naturally command attention toward him. 

The judge raised an eyebrow. The name seemed familiar to him, but it never settled who the man was. Perhaps he was too tired. "You'll submit for a background screening and have a drop-in check with a social worker in 48 hours. We will redetermine then whether his placement with you will be permanent or temporary." The judge smacked down his gavel. "Next case."

And just like that, all of Dick's rights as a person were signed away. Damon turned to look at Dick and Slade next to him. "I improvised." He shrugged his shoulders, Slade replied with a disapproving 'hm'. 

"Let's talk about this more outside the courtroom. There is a consult room just down the hall we can use and ... We have quite a bit to discuss."

"We have  _ nothing _ to discuss." Dick ground out, he was fuming.

Before long he was pushing passed Slade altogether to walk out of the building, like a restraining order was going to keep him from going back to Eric's. These people were idiots. Unfortunately, Dick couldn't just storm out of the building. The moment he made it to the doors, an officer stopped him. 

"You need to wait for your guardian."

"My guardian? What am I, a child?" Dick snapped back but the cop was silent and unwavering. 

"Can't you just babysit me from outside? I need a damn smoke."

Damon watched Dick, "He ... Needs to sign paperwork..."

"I'll handle it." Slade said flatly moving out the courtroom doors towards the commotion Dick was making in front of the officer's who probably had arrested him the night before. Perfect.

"I'll go with him officer." Slade called, moving forward and grabbing Dick by the back of his arm and leading him forward. "Go ahead and keep making a fool out of yourself. It'll get you thrown back in jail and I'm not bailing you out a second time." 

Slade should have sounded angry, but he didn't. It was flat, more a matter of fact. He stopped by a garbage with an ashtray on top to let Dick smoke his cigarette. 

"We are leaving in five minutes, you'll meet me by the car in the parking lot. A Bugatti. Maybe you'll recognize it." Slade gave Dick a single cigarette and lighter. "Is that clear?"

"Tell me, does it make your cock hard thinking you're rescuing me? Cuz I don't need you." Dick growled out before he lit his cigarette. "I'm going with you because I have to, so don’t you for one minute think you get to boss me around and tell me what to do. I'm not your kid, I'm not your fiance. This is my life and I'll do whatever I want with it..."

He let Slade go after that and just focused on getting as much nicotine in him as he possibly could. Part of him considered running away.. Going back to Eric but.. There were cops all over this damn place. He blew out smoke and groaned before pulling out his cell, he had managed to get it before he stormed out. He called Eric, biting his nails as he did so.

"What?"

"Oh, hello to you too. I just got out."

"Let me guess, you want me to pick you up because you haven't figured out how to get home from there." God Eric was being a bigger ass than usual.

"No... I'm calling because I got a shit lawyer who dug me in deeper... They're issuing a restraining order. We can only have supervised visits."

"What the fuck did you tell them?" Eric snapped.

"I didn't tell them shit. They think my injury has me acting irrationally. I have to see a shrink and stay with some old guy. Basically I got demoted from Adult to toddler... I'll sneak out to see you later though."

"Fucking idiot... If you didn't fucking hit me-"

"If  _ I _ didn't hit  _ you _ ?! You fucking prick! You hit me!"

"I should've hit you harder you worthless-"

Dick hung up. He wasn’t going to listen to this shit. 

He put out his cigarette and made his way out to the parking lot looking for the Bugatti, it didn't take long to spot. He got into the car and clicked on his seatbelt, "I need to go get my stuff."

"Your stuff?" Slade asked, climbing into the driver's side and starting the car with a push of a button. 

The middle console came alive with different equipment that was outside what you'd find in your average car. A large touch interface, a full 360° view of the car from the outside, and other features that required fingerprint access. 

'Welcome back Slade and Richard. Your personal settings are being applied. Enjoy your ride.'

Dick's seat adjusted itself automatically, the air coming out on his side at an exact temperature setting that adjusted for humidity and outside weather. Slade's did the same, his wheel clicking into place and tabs appearing on the windshield.

"I have everything you need at the suite. You don't need to bring your ... Stuff."

Dick was distracted by the fancy car for a moment, his jaw slightly dropped as he looked around. For once? He wasn't going to fight what he was being told. Of course Slade had his stuff. He put his attention on reading the labels on the tabs. 

There was.. 007? Dick clicked that one first, a light reading his finger tip before sub tabs opened up. 'Case files', 'investigations', 'surveillance', ect... It must've been all of his Nightwing stuff. 

He backed out of that and clicked the next tab named, 'Jukebox baby' and scrolled through the list of songs and artists that showed. 

"What kind of guy listens to both Lady Gaga and Led Zeppelin?" He asked before backing out of that tab as well. 

Next was a tab that only showed the image of a heart. Upon clicking it there were sub tabs of social media apps such as instagram and snap chat. He opened snap chat first and browsed through the saved photos. Most of them were goofy pictures Dick took of himself and friends... There were a lot of girls and few he snuck of Slade. He backed out of that and looked on Instagram finding a long history of Dick with a series of partners including Slade. Dick assumed most of them were ex's. Among these photos was one of him and Eric on a boat, a huge smile on both of their faces. Dick frowned and wondered if they fought later that night. He backed out of the tab and sighed before sinking into his seat. 

"Why leave if you were just going to come back?"

The question Dick asked was a valid one and cut right to the point without beating around the bush. "I didn't plan on coming back." Slade responded after a moment of silence. "The choice was either to let you sit in jail and continue to let your ... Boyfriend beat you. Or I could interfere."

Slade ground his teeth when he called Eric Dick's boyfriend. "I'm not a monster. I wasn't going to sacrifice your safety. Clearly Bruce hasn't held up his end of the bargain."

Dick rolled his eyes, "Bruce doesn't know about Eric...... Alfred made a big deal and I told him to mind his own business..... Listen, Slade... I appreciate you helping me out here, getting me out of jail and all that but... I'm not staying with you. I don't belong to you anymore. You  _ know _ that. It’s why you left. And I don't think it's because you blame yourself for what happened to me, I think you realized that I'm not who you wanted to marry." A frown fell onto Dick's lips, he didn't know why but Slade was easy to talk to.

"I'm  _ so _ tired of people complaining about who I am now. I can't even eat a salad in peace and.. I know this change is hard for everyone but... At least Eric accepts that I can't be someone I can't remember... I can't love people I don't know and I can't... Be who they want me to be... Eric hits me but.. At least I know he doesn't expect me to be some.. Hopeless, selfless idiot." He sighed heavily and shook his head before looking out the window. "I've felt alone since I've woken up... I feel seen with him.. It's... Nice to feel like I'm more than... A ghost."

Slade just listened to Dick. He didn't interrupt him, didn't force questions, just let Dick go until he finished. They were in the parking garage by the time he did. A lot of what Dick said was upsetting, there were claims made that made it clear Dick really didn't remember Slade. Otherwise he wouldn't have ever questioned his love for him. 

"You used to feel this way sometimes, even before your head injury." Slade commented, and it was probably the first time Dick heard that too.

Someone telling him that, in actuality, this Dick and the one before the accident were one in the same. "You could be a selfless idiot, but you also could be selfish at times too. You had a duality that you were afraid to show people. Though, you never had a problem showing it to me." Slade parked the car. "You also have depression. Apathy and agitation are common symptoms for you. What your explaining to me sounds like it's gotten worse. Does that feel accurate?"

Dick was silent for a while as he thought over Slade's words. Everyone painted him up to be this happy go lucky goofball who wanted nothing more than to save people... Maybe he used to carry that so people never saw him struggle. Damian said something about Dick being his rock at some point... It made sense for him to have hidden his emotions if he wanted to be there to support people without burdening them with his own issues. 

Finally, Dick shrugged and shook his head, "Yeah.. I guess... So what now? You gonna suggest I take pills on top of my new therapy sessions? What I'm dealing with isn't some... Internal imbalance I'm just... I have nowhere to go... No one... I can't chase down some stupid dream because I don't have one, even if I did I don't have money because I can't go and get a well paying job because I don't know what I can do.. The only reason I got a job at the bar was because Jamey felt bad for me.... Basically I'm fucked." He said with a heavy sigh before pinching the bridge of his nose, "And I don't want someone taking care of me."

"You never took pills before. So why would you take them now? Unless you want to. I'm not forcefully medicating you." Slade responded to the first point before even considered the rest of the long list in front of him. 

"Let's talk upstairs." Slade got out of the car and went around to open the other side for Dick. 

He wasn't going to give him much of a choice. Dick was staying at his apartment tonight. Tomorrow might be a different story, but for now Dick didn't need to be running around on the streets in his condition. Both mentally and physically. 

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

They walked the short distance to a small, well kept foyer that housed two sets of elevators within. Once inside said elevators, Slade pressed the button for the top floor, using his fingerprint to confirm and unlock the security set for it. It was twenty-two stories to the top of the building, once the doors opened, there was a short hallway that led to a singular door. All Slade had to do was walk toward it to trigger the door to unlock and for the security systems to power down. The door slid open for them both to walk through and into the main room. 

The suite was open concept with dark, rich, walnut wood floors throughout. The walls featured exposed brick, large windows, and comfortable colors like warm grays and a deep peacock blue accents. 

To the right of the door was the living room. A large u-shapped sectional sat on top of a plush area rug facing a television and fireplace. The sectional had different sized pillows set on it that were all functional, and not just for show. Slade walked towards it, motioning to the corner seat with his head. 

"Have a seat."

Dick had been gawking at the beautiful interior of the suite. He didn't know something this nice could exist in such a shit hole town. He made his way to the couch and removed his suit jacket and tie before loosening the top two buttons of his shirt. Afterwards he sat down on the couch and curled up in the corner. It was so much more comfortable than Eric's. 

Slade picked up a fluffy blanket that had been folded across the back of the couch and laid it out for Dick to use. It was softer than a newborn bunny, but not too warm, it also felt heavy as if small weights had been sown into the interior. The blanket used to be Dick's favorite when he was feeling anxious. That still seemed to be true judging by the way Dick relaxed beneath it.

Slade left for the kitchen, making some light clinking noises before coming back with two mugs. One he placed in front of Dick on the coffee table, the other came with him to sit on the couch at a safe, yet comfortable distance away from Dick. He had shed his suit jacket, loosened his tie, and rolled up his sleeves to make himself more comfortable. 

"Get everything off your mind." Slade suggested without any pressure behind his words. "Humor an old man."

"Not gonna get me a real drink?" Dick asked making no move to grab the mug.

Maybe he did have a problem.

"Look... I appreciate you helping me out here but I'm not about to pour my heart out to you... I've already said everything I've needed to. Just... Don't expect me to act like the same person I used to be because he's gone... I don't... Know who I am now so I can't tell you want to expect." 

Dick let out a less blissful breath as he stared down at the beautiful wood floors before laughing and shaking his head, "I can't believe this was my life.... It's so different than what it is now.. No wonder everyone's so disappointed." He paused and sat himself up a bit, "I guess I'll tell you what I know.. I work at the shitty bar I go to.. I like to pick people up aaand fight with my boyfriend.. Who is still my boyfriend and I'm not going to stop seeing him because everyone wants to treat me like a child."

Slade's hand tightened around his mug at the mention of Eric. A cracking sound filled the space between them. Luckily, the mug was empty.

"Your ... Boyfriend," Slade felt the word slip off his tongue like hot lava. He placed the pieces of his broken mug on the coffee table. "Is abusive. Amnesia or not, you aren't stupid enough to stay with someone who hurts you." Slade went straight to the point. "The same thing happened last time you were with him. Then, he beat your head against a wall and you left him. If he does that this time? You'll die."

Dick broke eye contact before shaking his head and sighing, "You say that like it'd be a bad thing.... Yeah, people would be sad but the Dick Grayson they all know and love is already dead." He went silent for a moment before looking back up at Slade, "I'm going to see him later.. I'm going to assume you'll respect my decision to do so because I'm not yours." He got up and headed into the kitchen before looking through the cabinets. 

He wasn't supposed to drink but he wasn't going to let Slade stop him from having a glass or scotch or something. After pouring his glass he returned to the livingroom and took a seat, staring at the cup in his hand. 

"...Can I smoke in here?"

"Be my guest, I had to install industrial air purifiers for your brother and his husband's bad habits. Jason rarely asks." Slade said it more like an annoyed parent than actually being upset about it. 

The whole Batclan had a variety of bad habits. Most he assumed were caused and maintained by their unrelenting nightly work schedule. Slade had just adjusted to them rather than try and fight it ... Considering his fiancee had been one of the worst.

Once Dick's cigarette smoke rose to the ceiling the light humming of the filter system clicking on was heard above them. It quickly faded into the background as white noise. 

"Dick..." 

It was the first time Slade said his name. It held a weight to it that his other words didn't, it was gentle, familiar. In that single name Slade conveyed love, heartbreak, concern. It briefly met his features, and as Slade's emotions often did, it was veiled under his usual imperceptible mask. 

"You're not as different as you think you are." Slade stood at that moment, taking his broken pieces of mug with him. 

When Slade went to pass by Dick, he saw a bruise on the side of Dick's face forming around his temple and back into his hairline. Without thinking he reached out and gently touched the discolored skin, his fingers moving back into Dick's hairline as his gaze followed the trail of injury.

As quickly as it started, it was all over with. Slade moved on into the kitchen, throwing away the bits of broken mug and washed his hands in the sink. "Your room is the second door down that hall." Slade motioned to it with his head as he dried his hands. "I have work to do." 

With that Slade left towards another bedroom further down the hall, door shutting with a finality that said he wasn't allowing guests.

Dick downed his scotch, put the cup in the sink and put out his cigarette. He went into the spare room, changed his clothes to the ridiculously tight pants and shirts he must’ve worn before... Either he like feeling like his pelvis being crushed or he gained weight. Either way? It made crawling out the window difficult. Dick could hardly lift his leg enough to hoist it over the sill and quickly reconsidered his decision when he remembered how far up they were. 

"Fuck..." He'd had to wait until Slade fell asleep. 

It wasn't until around 2am that Dick quietly crept out of his room and made his way to the elevator, texting Eric as he walked. [You awake?] He asked as he stepped into the metal box. He didn't get a reply. 

He sighed heavily and hit the button to start descending. He said he'd go so... He was going to

The elevator began to drop, but stopped on the second floor going into the parking garages, premature to Dick's selected ground level floor. When the doors opened, the scene before Dick was a mixture of pure coincidence and perfect timing. 

Deathstroke, in full uniform, was standing to get into the elevator, he was holding a man by the back of his shirt who was turned around from the elevator sitting on the floor. However the Irish accent and red hair were a dead giveaway.

"You're still awake." Slade said under his mask, dragging Eric with him into the elevator next to Dick like it was no big deal.

The man was bruised a bloody, not seriously injured, but enough for it to hurt. "Let go!" Eric protested, finally catching sight of Dick in the elevator. "What the fuck did you do?!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Dick snapped at Slade however kept his distance from Eric, ignoring him all together.

"Don't fucking ignore me you worthless cunt!"

"Eric, for once in your damn life... Shut the fuck up." Dick growled out and brought his attention backup to Slade.

"So what? You're going to kill him now so I'll be with you or some crazy bullshit?" He shouldn't have been poking at Slade like that knowing full well what the male was capable of but.... He couldn’t fucking help it.

"Twenty-second floor ... Please." Slade asked ignoring the rest of the questions, then just sighing and hitting the button himself. 

"Whether or not he lives isn't dependent on any relations we have together. Like you said ... I don't own you." 

The doors closed as they began riding down to Dick's floor. The doors opened fully, a terrified young woman looking at the scene in horror. "Apologies Miss." Slade said before manually shut the doors so they could begin riding up to the 22nd floor. 

"You said you wanted to talk to him. I brought him for you to talk to. However ... I only found it appropriate for him to gain the same treatment he gave you before hand. To give him some perspective. This one isn't the brightest though, unfortunately."

Dick just stared at Slade slack jawed, he couldn't believe what was happening right now. He let out a heavy groan and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah... I said I wanted to talk to him... I didn't want you to kick his ass and bring him here like a goddamn psychopath! Eric is my  _ boyfriend _ I should have the fucking right to see him without you going all Rambo on his ass." Granted... Eric did deserve it. 

Dick's eyes met angry green ones, for the time being, Eric had fallen silent but... Dick didn't miss the way his hands slightly trembled, the way they were clenched into fists.... If Dick got left alone with him now? He'd be  _ fucked _ . Slade was making things so much worse.

Still, Dick sighed and knelt down to softly touch Eric to check up on him. The other pulled away aggressively and snarled out, "Don't fucking touch me." 

"Eric-"

"Shut the fuck up you filthy little whore."

By the time the doors opened to the hallway Slade had enough, he tossed Eric hard with enough force to send him right through the entryway. The door barely had enough time to slide open, Eric missing it by inches.

"He's right, you would have lived longer if you kept quiet." 

Slade didn't hesitate to follow behind with long strides into the apartment.

"What the fuck!" Eric rolled over onto his arms and knees, trying to push himself up. He wiped some blood from his upper lip. "You got pissed because I sold you out huh? So you went to suck grandpa's cock again for help? You're a slu-"

The ringing of a handgun being fired echoed into the room. Slade's weapons were quieter than most, but still jarring. Slade had shot him in the shoulder.

"The next one goes in between your eyes."

Dick’s hands instantly went over his ears before he looked up to find Eric curled up clutching his shoulder. His jaw dropped slightly as he looked at Slade feeling an odd mix of emotions. First, there was fear... Then he remembered that Slade wouldn't hurt him. It wasn't... An exact memory, more so a feeling deep within the other. Next he felt arousal, joy, anger. He didn't know what was happening. 

Maybe he was glad Slade was showing how much he cared... Maybe he was grateful Eric was getting what he deserved... But... He was also angry. 

"Stop." He said with a bit of bite though it wasn't clear who he was talking to. 

He then moved between Slade and Eric. Slade lowered his gun as soon as Dick stood between them. He wouldn't point a loaded weapon at Dick under any circumstances. He was so close to telling Dick to move out of the way so he could finish the job, especially with Dick looking at him like a father about to scold his child. Then Dick surprised him with a speech he ... Wasn't expecting. 

"You know... When you first came to me in the bar I thought... 'Wow... Here's a hot guy who has no expectations of me'.. I only stayed with you because you were good in bed and didn't pressure me to be someone else. And.. I'm glad you didn't but.. You are the biggest asshole I have ever met! I don't even love you and I'm dealing with you because you're the only one who accepts who I am... At least that's what I've been telling myself but clearly you don't.. You call me a slut because I sleep around. You say I'm an idiot because I can't remember shit. You say you like the new me but hit me if I'm too quiet or not loud enough..... And I was going to go back to you.. I should let this old man kill you and fuck him next to your body.”

Slade smirked under his mask at Eric’s stunned and speechless expression. Slade wanted to put a bullet through this man's head. Blow him away like he deserved. Though he could hear Dick in his head, next to him behind that car months and months ago. 'No kill shots.' This Dick couldn't remember that moment, nor the hundred others where Dick had to tell Slade not to kill. Now this Dick might not care, might want Slade to kill Eric even. 

'No kill shots'. 

Slade saw Dick's blood on the pavement, his head wound. The grinding fear he had the moment he was sure Dick was dead.

His gun dropped on the floor.

Slade marched forward, grabbed Eric by his bad arm and yanked him up, dragging him to the door. "You'll go down that elevator to the main level and walk out of here with your life. If you even so much as look Dick Grayson's way again ... The suffering and pain I will put you through will make this night seem like a tea party. Then when I'm all done? I'll make sure no one  _ ever _ finds your body." Slade shoved Eric back toward the elevator and let go of him at the same time.

The door shut too once Slade stepped back inside.

Dick watched Slade silently letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding... Did he want Slade to shoot Eric? Was he relieved it didn't? Probably the latter.. 

Slade grabbed the bottom of his mask and pulled it up and off his head. His hair hadn't maintained it's styling and laid more naturally. "I heard you trying to sneak out earlier."

"At least I didn't fall... I think I'd lose more than my memory if I did…. You don't look so bad in uniform. Kind of sexy." Was he flirting? Hours ago he wanted to fight. 

Maybe it was the adrenaline.. Or him getting the compassion he needed to push himself away from Eric more completely. 

"I know I.. May not have seemed like it but I can take care of myself." His hands found their way to Slade's chest, "I was just.... I don't know.. He made me feel something other than.. Lost I guess... But you're not like everyone else. You look at me like you know me but you don't fight who I've become." 

His hands ran up Slade's chest until his arms looped around his shoulders. It was so different and yet exactly how he used to. Physically he moved the same way, pressing his body against the others, but the atmosphere of love and appreciation was gone. 

"What do you say you make me forget all about him?"

Slade should have seen what was coming a mile away, the looks, the tone, all of it. Yet he was entranced by the way Dick touched him, starting with his chest. Butterflies rose inside him, his body naturally began to heat up at the familiar attention. The pattern Dick's hands traced, the way they moved up and around him. Slade never realized how much he missed this until right now. How he had been unconsciously craving him this whole time. 

The press of Dick's body made him feel a growing arousal, a pull of sexual chemistry they'd  _ always _ had. This wasn't love though, it was lust. 

Slade didn't move quickly, nor did he use excessive strength when he pushed Dick's back against the wall, listening as Dick let out a soft breath. He grabbed each arm around his neck and pinned them by the wrist to the wall. Slade just looked at Dick for a moment, eyes looking like Slade was searching for some answer there on the other's face. 

"I'll make sure you never think about him again."

Slade closed the distance between them and kissed Dick deeply, taking in every bit of his to be fiance that he had been missing all this time. Dick felt something that was the opposite of the usual numbness. It was dull and brief but it was  _ something _ . It felt like a little flutter in his heart as if a butterfly was trapped inside but the feeling was gone before Dick had time to slip his tongue into Slade's mouth.

His tongue grinded against the others before dragging against the roof of his mouth as he broke the kiss in a soft pant, "You taste good." He smirked, moving in for a more passionate and hungry kiss.

Slade had to swallow the short laugh he let out at Dick's comment. He didn't mind the change in pace and rolled along with it. A moan, or maybe more of a possessive growl, rumbled up from his chest. He was pushing Dick more firmly against the wall now, so he could get even closer. Slade moved his hands to grab Dick's hips and picked him up from the ground until they were face to face. He encouraged Dick to wrap his legs around Slade's midsection and hips as Slade stole away Dick's mouth yet again. The kiss was almost enough to distract Dick from the uncomfortable tightness in his pants, god he was either going to have to buy new ones or go on more jogs. As the kiss broke apart there was still a string of saliva connecting their tongues which made Dick shiver.

"Bedroom ... or couch?" Slade asked, pressing his fingers into Dick's hips. "I want you, now."

"Take me on the couch, it's closer." Dick breathed out as his fingers curled in Slade's thick white hair before pulling his head back to bite his earlobe. 

Once they made it to the couch, Dick ripped off his shirt and ran his hands along Slade's uniform trying to take it off. Finally he growled in frustration.

"Get it off... I can't mark you." It wasn't unlike Dick to be possessive, he was just usually passive about it..

"My pleasure." 

Slade made quick work of his suit and accessories. Different parts all ending up on the coffee table or around it. Finally Slade slide off his under armor while Dick’s hands chased the fabric as the skin underneath was revealed. He was just as toned as ever, his stomach muscles contracting in as he pulled the shirt up and then stretching when he threw it over his head. The motions all gave Dick a perfect view of the rippling muscles under Slade's skin. 

Dick couldn't help but gawk at the way Slade's muscles moved and flexed as he moved, it made his jaw drop slightly before he scratched the skin beneath his nails. No wonder they were engaged. 

Lips met Dick's again, a hand slipping down to Dick's navel before stopping. "You sure you want to do this, kid?"

Even if Dick couldn't remember his own trauma, Slade did. There was no reason to ignore that just because Dick might find the idea of implicit consent ridiculous. Slade would rather be safe than sorry. 

"Are you fucking kidding? You're a damn stud. I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to fuck you." His hands ran up Slade's chest before scratching down it making the skin rise. 

Slade felt every inch of skin under Dick's nails come alive, it built up the kind of energy in him that just begged for release. He might think more about Dick's words later, but right now he just wanted to taste and touch more of his lover. 

Dick then groped at the front of Slade's pants, "Why don't we 69?"

Slade grabbed the younger's pants and just about ripped them off the other. He smiled a little, Dick wasn't as in shape, and he had gained a little weight, but it looked good on him. 

"I never thought your ass could actually look better." Slade commented moving his hands down the outside of Dick's thighs, letting them slide under Dick's ass to give it a firm squeeze Their was a purpose to it as well, he pushed Dick's hips up and slipped down himself.

"Beautiful..." 

Slade said under his breath, kissing along the inside of Dick's thighs as he spread them apart. Tongue and mouth found Dick's entrance. He started slow, using even pressure with his tongue and lips with varying sensations. Every few moments or so Slade would move up to tease at Dick's cock and the sensitive skin below. He played with tricks and tactics that used to drive Dick mad, partly curious to see how he would react now.

Dick’s breath hitched before a soft moan escaped him. "Jesus." 

It took him a moment to gather himself enough to take the tip of Slade's member into his mouth where he tightened his lips around it and sucked hard. His hands moved in circular motions around his shaft as he did so before he flicked his tongue between the head and the shaft. After a while Dick began bobbing his head letting Slade's cock grind against his inner cheek before he got him halfway down his throat, choking softly. 

His hips rolled against Slade's face and he let out another low and deep moan. He didn't seem to be as loud but his body reacted with soft twitches and movements, goosebumps slowly building and spreading on his skin. Slade tried to stay focused, but with Dick it was always a challenge. He was clearly enjoying every sensation and motion that Dick was giving him. Dick seemed to be enjoying himself too. He could feel him opening up to him as his hips greedily pushed Slade's tongue past the ring of muscles and inside of Dick's body. 

So he was sneaking out to see Eric. 

Slade's hands suddenly shot up and stilled Dick's hips and pushed them forward by grasping the back of his thighs. There was only a brief moment of pause. He waited for Dick to, inevitably, let up before flipping Dick over onto his back hard enough to drive the air out of him, but not enough to seriously hurt. The asphyxiation seemed to turn Dick on even more. 

Slade moved down to pin Dick under him, hands grabbing wrists, pushing them up above Dick's head until the muscles in his arms would begin to stretch. He looked down at Dick with an unreadable, but intense stare. Then he looked a little surprised. He was either surprised by his own actions or perhaps Dick's reaction, but it didn't last long. Too much, too hard, too soon after Eric.

Dick’s tongue dragged along Slade's skin before flicking across his lips. "Are you going to make me beg, big guy?" This Dick seemed more willing than he used to be. 

Then again? This Dick didn't have nearly as many reservations. His legs crossed over Slade's hips as he pulled him down into himself, his stomach muscles and arms flexing under the other. He wasn't as toned as he used to be but he was still strong.

"You're into that sort of thing..." It wasn't a question, Slade knew he was. 

Things were different this time, in so many ways, but Dick's body was reading very much the same. It said he was ready, willing, wanting.

"I could make you beg if I wanted to." Slade said with a sultry tone, but didn't kiss him. He pulled back enough to push Dick's back flat on the couch. "I could have you begging for more or for mercy. You have no idea what I can do to you." It sounded cocky, but Slade's unwavering confidence spoke truth without much room for doubt that meant every word. 

Dick couldn't doubt the other... Slade was engaged to him. Slade knew his body better than Dick did. 

Slade let his cock slide against Dick's, moaning a little at the contact. He reached between them and wrapped a hand around both of them, pressing their hot lengths together and giving Dick a true 'feel' for Slade's size. With a mixture of moving his hips and hand he created dual, but choreographed sensations that was movement and pleasure. Dick inhaled a sharp shaky breath. His back arched and he sucked air in through his teeth as the friction grew with Slade's grinding. 

"I... Love how huge you are." Dick pant out before softly moaning. "You know... I'm more than willing to beg for you, baby." His face began tinting a faint red giving him that same familiar look. 

He rolled his hips up into Slade's, his cock leaking a bit of pre-cum between them. "I wanna feel you inside me." He let out in a breath before biting his lip to choke back a moan. "Please, let me have you."

Slade let out a moan that was deep and wanting. He reeled himself back in though, gripping their lengths with just a little more pressure between them. "What makes you think you earned it?" Slade asked, leaning down and letting his teeth drag against Dick's neck. "You've been giving me nothing but problems all day ..." Slade jerked them faster. "Maybe if you behave ... Daddy will give you his cock."

Dick shivered as his panting gradually increased. 

"Mm" He bit back, looking into Slade's eye before letting out another soft moan. 

"Fuck... I'll do whatever you want me to... Daddy." The word rolled off his tongue so familiarly. 

It sent a wave of heat through Dicks stomach and groin, making him leak more precum. 

He leaned up to softly suck on Slade's neck before firmly biting him, his legs starting to tremble. "I'll be whatever you want me to be." He purred into Slade's ear before softly scratching down his back with his free hand before moving back up to pull at Slade's hair, "No one's ever made me this hard. My body is aching for you."

"You  _ are  _ who I want you to be." Slade said with a moan of his own when his hair was pulled. He dipped his hips down closer to Dick's, moving his hand more vigorously while his cock thrusted against Dick's. "I just want you to cum for me, Dick."

Dick seemed almost caught off guard by Slade's words, his brows furrowing momentarily before he got lost in the sensation of Slade's hand down below. He let out a choked moan as his grip tightened on Slade's hair. He mumbled something in coherent, his face starting to flush as his eyes fluttered closed. Dick grew more vocal, his back starting to arch before he went silent and came. A broken moan escaped him a few seconds afterwards as he began panting heavily.

"I... Fuck.."

Slade was fed by Dick's reactions, fueling him to push the younger over into his orgasm. "Good boy." Slade panted, smiling as he continued pumping Dick's spent cock until Slade too came. 

His seed spread across the expanse of Dick's stomach. Slade pushed his own hair back with a hand before doing the same with Dick's.

"Still with us?"

"I... Yeah.." 

Dick finally responded before opening his eyes and looking into Slade's. In the silence he felt that flutter again, but just as it did before, it vanished. It didn't change the intimate air that built between them uncomfortably. Dick wasn't used to it. Slade had felt that spark of intimacy between them, seen it in Dick's eyes reflected in his own but it was over as quickly as it started.

"Normally it's harder to get me off." He chuckled as he let his fingertips run over Slade's toned sides. "I've never... Had anyone get me off without.. Going all the way."

He broke eye contact, his fingers lightly skimming Slade's chest before he pushed against it. "I need a smoke... And a drink."

The push on his chest had him instinctively moving out of Dick's space on his own. His jaw was tight, mind clearly somewhere else as he went through the motions of pulling his pants back on and picking his garments off the floor. 

"Turn the vents on … And you know where the liquor is." Slade mentioned as if in passing.

Dick could almost read the hurt on Slade but elected to ignore it as he himself got up and pulled on his pants. He put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it before heading into the kitchen to grab a whole bottle of liquor. The sun was already peaking over the horizon and Dick was exhausted. 

"Try not to stay up too late." Dick didn't know why he said that as he walked by and to his room.

He closed the door and leaned back against it feeling the pit of hollow emptiness creeping up deep within him. This always happened to him after... He'd have a moment of something and then just... Pain... He screwed the lid off the bottle and took a big swig before wiping his stomach clean and crawling into bed, curling around the bottle. He felt something more with Slade. Something he didn't want to open up. He'd only hurt Slade. Let him down. Get reminded that he isn't who everyone wants him to be... Or was he? Maybe he was avoiding it because he didn't want the weight of being that person on his shoulders. He didn't know anymore.

  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  


"Sir, you have a visitor in the lobby." A female voice came over a small speaker in the kitchen. 

"A visitor? Let me guess, custom suit, black hair, constipated expression?" Slade asked back as he filled a glass with water from the fridge.

"Sir, it's Bruce Wayne." 

She almost sounded a little horrified by Slade's words, but there wasn't any surprise in her tone either. She must have known Slade sometimes just couldn't help himself.

"That is exactly who I just described. You can let him up." 

Slade set the glass down on the counter top and decided it was probably a good time to go put some clothes on. 

He hadn't slept since his encounter last night ... Well, maybe more this morning, he'd been training and exercising. Slade didn't need an incredible amount of sleep, nor was it a big deal for him to miss a night or two. 

A shower had followed, but not his clothes. What point was it to wear clothes in a house where everyone had seen you naked? He didn't think Bruce would appreciate an in the buff meeting however.

Slade emerged from his bedroom just in time for a sound to ding by the front door signaling there was a guest who had arrived. 

"Open the front door." Slade said while pulling down his shirt.

The door slid open as Slade grabbed his glass and stepped down from where the kitchen was and into the living room space.

"Pretty early for you Bruce. Couldn't sleep since patrol?"

"This was an emergency." Bruce stated as he stepped into the suite. 

His eyes hardly glanced around, he had been here before, however the difference was that Dick was head over heels in love with Slade at that time. If Dick hadn't lost his memory then Bruce was sure he would see the young man in superman pajama bottoms, mussed hair and a single sock eating cereal on the couch... Instead? Dick was nowhere in sight.

"If this was an 'emergency' I would have seen you last night, not this morning." Slade countered, sitting down on the sectional, putting his drink on the coffee table, motioning to what Dick had dubbed the 'bruce chair'. 

Every dwelling Bruce went to had one. Sometimes it was an armchair, a recliner, the most amusing of them being Jason's bright red papasan chair. The key was, the seat could only hold one person comfortably. So, when Bruce came over in a 'mood' or with uncomfortable news he had a place to sit. Otherwise the man would just stand around or look uncomfortable sitting next to someone else. 

Bruce's 'seat' was the dark blue wingback chair fitted in closest to the fireplace. There was also always water, a bottle of bourbon, and glasses next to it. Both Bruce and Slade enjoyed drinking in that chair. Slade would just take the water this morning. 

"I came to pick Dick up. I realise you didn't intend on staying in his life. I don't know why you were called instead of me."

Bruce was clearly miffed about that.

"Let me guess, couldn't decide what to do or ... Arkham break? Heard about that, terrible." Slade wasn't going to say whether or not that was his doing. 

Slade hadn't just gone out to grab Eric last night, no, that was more of an after errand.

Bruce moved to take a seat before letting out a soft sigh, he ignored Slade's question all together. 

"Wilson, I'm here for Dick. From the way things sounded, he wouldn't have come with me last night. My actions are in his best interest."

"Oh bullshit."

A slightly slurred voice cut in from the hallway.

"You're just here because  _ everyone _ thinks I can't take care of myself and sends you to do it when you  _ honestly _ couldn't give two fucks."

Dick walked into the kitchen, setting an empty bottle on the counter before he dug around the fridge. Bruce frowned, watching the other without looking at Slade.

"You let him drink..." 

Bruce sighed and turned his attention back to the older male, ignoring Dick all together.

"Reinforcing his habits isn't good for him, I'd think as his former fiance you'd know that. I'm going to have Dick pack and come with me"

"Like hell you are." Dick snort out, slamming the fridge, "Legally? Slade  _ owns _ me. Second of all, I'd rather jump off a bridge than spend one more hour in your big empty house with the brat and his dog. I figured out that I don't belong there and yet, you assholes keep insisting I do while putting me down for  _ every _ .  _ Little _ .  _ Choice _ I make."

Slade's eye widened a little bit, but maybe not for the reason most would expect. Dick had a history of telling Bruce off, realistically, this wasn't entirely out of character minus the drunk part. Though ... Slade had seen that happen too once or twice. This family's feuds were endless. Not that he could really talk ...

No, what caught Slade off guard was Dick regarding Damian the way he did. Annoyed and calling him a brat as an insult and not a term of endearment. 

"Dick." Slade looked at him with a hard look. "Sit down. I'm handling it." 

It was a harsh tone, but it clearly displayed that Slade was not fucking around. 

Dick moved to plop down on the couch, lying on his back with his foot resting on the arm rest. 

"I'm not his father it isn't my responsibility to police his behaviors. Even if I was his fiancee it isn't my place to  _ force _ him to do anything. However, if you want to talk about responsibility: It shouldn't have been my responsibility to protect him yesterday ... Yet here we are." Slade shot back.

He shouldn't be having this conversation around Dick, about what Bruce had promised and hadn't done. 

"At least if he's drinking he's doing it in a safe home … Do you know  _ why _ I was called to pick him up, Bruce?"

Bruce seemed to have fallen silent. He didn't know the whole story about what happened but he wasn't sure if he needed to know.

"How long do you think he'll let you keep him here?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. "When we first got Dick back from the hospital he was curious. He expressed an interest in getting to know himself." Bruce paused and glanced towards his eldest, nothing short of disappointment in his eyes. 

"You don't honestly think you have the patience to deal with his anger, do you? Or how about him bringing different people home? Coming home drunk, high... You can't sit here and tell me you want to be responsible for him when you wanted nothing to do with him when he was  _ easy _ ."

Those words stung and unfortunately Dick was a ticking time bomb just waiting for a fight. 

He sat up and leaned foward, "Fuck  _ both _ of you guys. I can't believe you two are even fighting about who gets to  _ deal _ with the burden that is me. If none of you want me then leave me the  _ fuck _ alone like I've been asking." Dick growled as he got up. 

Bruce got up just as quick and approached the other. "Dick, that's not how I meant it."

"No?" Dick asked as he spun around and approached Bruce, "That's why you let me move out so fast? Why you keep making other people responsible for me?"

"I'm respecting your need for space." Bruce countered.

"Oh are you now? But here you are. How many times do I have to tell you I don't want anything to do with you or your piece of shit kid-" Dick didn't get to finish before Bruce backhanded him.

At first, Dick tensed. A brief expression of shocking filling his face before it turned into anger. Dick lunged towards the other but Bruce easily evaded it and knocked Dick down to the floor before pinning him under his shoe. 

"You have no idea how selfish you're being." Bruce growled out in a gruff voice.

Slade wanted to strangle both of them. Bruce was being ... Well  _ Bruce _ , but Dick was being an  _ absolute _ cock. Especially about Damian ... To be honest? He saw the hit coming. For a brief second he even wondered if maybe Dick deserved it before changing his mind entirely as things progressed. Slade took two long strides towards Bruce and pushed him  _ hard _ off of Dick.

"You don't  _ touch him _ like that in our home." Slade didn't even realized what he'd said. "I don't care how fed up you are Bruce. You don't get to be fed up, this is  _ your kid _ ." Slade wasn't even speaking from the perspective of Dick's ex anymore. Slade was speaking to Bruce as one father to another. 

Bruce's sharp cold eyes focused on the other as he got defensive over Dick. As annoying as it was in this moment, it was one of the few things Bruce appreciated about Slade. He took care of Dick. He wouldn't let anyone hurt him.. Including himself and right now Dick was tearing himself apart at the seams by destroying every emotional relationship he had. He didn't know it, but that was his lifeline and the more bridges he burned, the angrier he got and the more self destructive he became. Bruce hated to even consider that Slade was exactly what he needed.

"He's ... Beyond selfish at the moment but I know why. Because he needs to focus on himself and his own recovery. He's hurting people because you aren't stepping in and being honest with him. Like this-"Slade looked down at Dick, "That 'brat' you keep talking about is a boy  _ you _ called your son. Bruce hates to admit it to himself, but he's angry because you're being a jerk to a kid that loves you  _ more _ than anyone else in his life. He'd choose you over Bruce or even his own mother without a second thought. Yes ... He is difficult, stubborn, selfish, and often insufferable but he loves you endlessly. I don't care if you want to explore the world differently, I don't care how you treat the adults in your life. However, Damian does not deserve this from you."

Slade said and looked to Bruce before looking back at Dick. "Are you afraid of disappointing him?"

Dick's brows furrowed, he looked almost dumbfounded. Hurt. Dick honestly didn't understand the rush of emotions that came over him. 

"Disappoint him?" Dick asked, a few tears dripping down his cheeks as though his subconscious was bleeding through. "I did that when I didn't  _ die _ in the hospital."

Bruce opened his mouth to speak but Dick continued speaking more coldly than his prior statement, "I don't even know him. I don't give a damn what he thinks of me. I'm just tired of... Everyone loving who I used to be." 

He didn't want to be that vulnerable but between the emotions and the alcohol it slipped out. He dragged himself off the ground and headed down the hall, slamming his bedroom door.

Slade watched Dick's door slam and let out a long breath through his nose. He'd either go back to sleep or sneak out the window. Slade honestly knew it just depended on how drunk and upset he was. Most likely? He'd stay in bed. 

Bruce let out a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you really want to take this on? Because if you do, you don't get to back out later."

Bruce's words hit him like a weight. He was right … If Slade stuck around there was no going back. If Slade went back to being in Dick's life then he would be a target again. Though, it felt as though if he didn't interfere, Dick was going to spiral out of control. Besides... Dick didn't love him anymore. That wasn't them anymore, the engaged couple. Now they were ... Barely fuck buddies. But then again ... It was a little late to be backing out now.

"I don't think you have any place to warn me about skirting responsibilities." Slade answered flatly. "Even if I do decide to 'take this on' you don't get to disappear, nor does your family. He may hate you now, rightfully so, but he won't forgive himself if you let him push you away. For once you all need to put in the effort for him, not the other way around. It's going to start with you sitting Damian down and explaining rules and expectations for being around Dick." 

Slade had a habit of parenting Bruce at times. Bruce was a little old to be Slade's kid, but damn well close enough.

"I'm not walking out on him." Bruce stated firmly before looking towards the room, "I just don't know what he needs.... Barbara has tried being in his life and he pushed her away. The only time he makes an effort to see Jason is to go for a drink. He hates Damian because Damian is grieving the loss of a brother he was close to."

Slade wanted to tell Bruce that was the exact problem. He wanted to spell it out for him in big letters that Dick was pushing himself away from Bruce because Bruce was trying to get Dick to act like something he wasn't even to begin with. This side of Dick was toxic and out of control but it wasn't so out of character. He was just trying to cope.

"Dick needs to figure out who he is before he destroys himself." With another long tired sigh, Bruce rubbed his temple, "I'll talk to Damian and the others tonight... Maybe you can see if Dick's willing to wipe the slate with them."

Slade put a hand up. "If I'm taking this over then I'm taking this over. I'll call Alfred to schedule a dinner at the end of the week, if he wants to see any of you before then he will reach out himself. Otherwise? Give him some space to cool down and if I get any unexpected visitors I'll show them the door like I'm showing it to you now." 

Slade jerked his head towards the elevator. "Nothing personal Bruce ... But you aren't exactly helping anything by being here. There isn't anything for you to do. I have it handled."

  
  
  


Slade gave Dick the rest of that day to get his shit together. Of course, that just meant letting him bumble around the house but setting the expectation that he stay in that night. He didn't tell him he had to, nor did he check to see if Dick had left. He just stayed around to do work while the other relaxed or did whatever. 

However, the next morning, things were set to change.

It was 9AM when the door to Dick's room opened. Slade moved in with running shoes in one hand and a change of clothes in the other. The shoes were dropped to the floor and the clothes on top of the dresser. Dick was passed out cold from drinking himself to sleep yet again. An empty bottle laid on the floor, the blanket only covered Dick's hips and his pants from the night before were still caught around one of his ankles. 

"Open the curtains." 

There was a small dinging sound before they drew open and let in the full force of the morning light. 

"Time to get up Dick. We're going for a run. Get dressed."

As the light flooded into the room Dick groaned and curled up on his side, pulling the pillow over his head. 

"I don't... Run.." He barely mumbled out showing no sign of moving.

It much resembled that of a child that needed to get ready for school. 

"Curtains close." 

Dick tried using the magic voice activation to flood the room with more darkness so he could try to get some more sleep. What kind of heathen got up at this hour anyways? 

"It's too early for this crap, Slade."

"Override, run Dick's morning program."

The curtain's swung back open, a speaker just above Dick's headboard beginning to play an upbeat song used to pull Dick out of a long night of being Nightwing. 

"You have to get up now if you want to get done before noon." 

Slade left things ambiguous, tapping on a bottle of water in his hand as he waited on the side of the bed for Dick to get up.

"I'm not going away."

Dick let out a loud groan before throwing his pillow at Slade, shortly after he rolled back onto his back and stared at the ceiling. 

"You are literally Satan." 

He dragged himself out of bed and pulled on some clothes. From there he drank some water and headed out to run with Slade. It was more of a halfhearted jog where Dick lulled behind, gradually he picked up the pace but once it was decent he came to a stop and hunched over, holding his knees as he worked to catch his breath. 

"How long do we have to do this?" He was already sweating. 

Clearly this was the cause for his slight weight gain, he hadn't done any working out and now with his smoking problem, his lungs weren't what they used to be.

Slade stopped and walked back to Dick, lifting his watch up so he could look at it, then began tapping at the screen. He made an almost silent disapproving sound. Slade then squatted down and showed him the screen on his watch. 

"See this number?"

It was Dick's heart rate, it was certainly elevated, especially for Dick's that rivaled the slow, steady rhythm of Olympic athletes. 

"It's in the yellow range, which means you are uncomfortable, but you aren't going to die." Slade then stood back up.

"If you want to be done then there are only two ways back." Slade pointed to them. "We can go back up that hill, around the cliff side, some beach and sand, it'll be about five miles. That way? About 10 miles, but mostly flat area." 

He then pointed to behind them. "Or, if you want to go back the four miles that way, you'll run into the paparazzi that have been trying to tape us. If we don't move soon ... I'm guessing Bruce will be back to yell at both of us."

Dick let out a whine as he looked back towards where Slade had pointed, all of those options sounded absolutely horrible. 

"You know, typically people work up to the point they used to be after they got fat, they don't dive into their old work out routine." He straightened up and wiped the sweat off his brow. "Lets keep going." 

He was going to get a big glass of scotch when he got home, that was for sure.

Dick shook out his arms before he began jogging forward, keeping straight on the trail. 10 miles seemed like an eternity but the more his body moved, the more it started getting up to his normal speed and movements. Now, this didn't mean Dick's muscles weren't screaming and aching nor did it mean his lungs weren't on fire. He felt like he was absolutely drowning. By the five mile mark he had to stop once more to catch his breath, his body dripping with sweat, his shirt soaked. 

"Can... You.... Carry me? Or something?" He pant out between each tired breath. This. Was. Hell.

"Carry you? No. I could carry you, I just won't." Slade responded honestly. 

He stopped and opened his own water bottle and dumped ice cold water on Dick's head. Then pulled off his own shirt, which wasn't soaked like Dick's, and threw it over his head. 

"Get cleaned up, drink some water," Slade handed Dick his own water bottle, "And let's move we've only gone five miles."

Dick chugged half the water. "Yeah.... O _ nly five _ ... For being old, you're cardio is amazing.... Just... Give me a minute, it feels like I'm breathing knives." He complained before taking his own shirt off and sitting down on the ground.

Slade honestly just chuckled at Dick a little bit. "I've done that ... Trust me ... it doesn't feel good."

It was too serious to be a joke. Slade had been hurt a lot of different ways in his career. A lot of people thought that his success came from his abilities, and it did, but some of it was just purely his healing factor. How else would he have 'breathed knives' and made it out alive?

"You?... Why am I even surprised, you're into all kinds of weird shit." Dick said in response.

He didn't know much about Slade, just that he was the world's greatest mercenary with a kill count that reached over 600. He knew Slade was a meta and not someone to fuck around with and yet? He felt comfortable giving him a hard time, that was because deep down he knew Slade still loved him.

"Can we walk the rest of the way?"

"Fine, we can walk for the next ... Mile." Slade looked ahead from where they were on the running trail. "I have somewhere you can take a 'rest'." 

Slade helped Dick off the ground, whether he wanted him too or not. "The longer you stop, the harder it is to get up." 

Especially for Dick. If you could keep him on his feet he could do just about anything. If he started actually getting comfortable? Now that was a death sentence to all productivity…. At least when he was tired.

"You're out of shape."

"Tell me something I don't know." 

Dick took the comment surprisingly well, he saw pictures of his form before the accident, he knew he gained weight. He felt it in his clothes, saw it in his face. He watched his six pack grow less visible and while he could still see it, it wasn't nearly as toned and sculpted. He got onto walking with Slade, the air getting easier to breathe.

"So... Is that why you're making me do this? You want me to look like a sculpted god when you get me on my knees for you?"

Slade smirked, "As satisfying as that imagery may be, no, that's not why I'm doing this." Slade answered, watching Dick out of the corner of his eye, as if he was checking him out. "I find you attractive this way, so my motivations are not sexual." He answered honestly before looking forward.

Dick couldn't stop the smile that slowly spread across his face, "You'd find me attractive if I was a hundred pounds heavier." 

His eyes rolled at the idea but the smile didn't fade. He had a faint flutter in his chest, warmth in his stomach. He chalked it up to liking the attention. They were sexually compatible, Slade was a fox and Dick enjoyed being hit on. It was an ego booster. For once it just felt like he wasn't doing something wrong. 

"Once you exert all your excess energy you'll see why I'm doing this." 

There was a promise there of something Slade knew that he wasn't going to share with Dick. He knew he wouldn't believe him for a second anyway and just ask to go home, drink booze, and smoke cigarettes. Bruce was right, they were vices, but Dick had a way of handling them.

They walked the rest of the way to the building Slade had mentioned. It was an old renovated warehouse that was labelled, 'Gotham City Gymnastics'. Slade didn't hesitate to just open the door and wave Dick inside. In the front working was a young girl who smiled the moment she saw both of them. 

"Hi Mr. Wilson, how are you? It's been a while." 

"Fine, how's your father?" 

"Doing better. It's nice to see you too, Dick."

She gave him the same kind smile in which he returned before she looked down at a book behind the counter. 

"I have the private room reserved for you. Oh ... And the trapeze is free until three if you are interested."

"Thank you Cindy." Slade looked back at Dick, "Come on, this is part two of three."

"Two of three? What are you? My fitness coach?" Dick asked but didn't press the issue. 

Slade already said he wasn't going to tell him why he was doing this. "You know. I don't have a single acrobatic or flexible bone in my body, right? I fell down Bruce's stairs cuz I tripped over my pant leg a couple months ago." 

Slade laughed outright, it wasn't about Dick falling down the stairs though. 

"That's the single most ridiculous comment I've heard you make." Slade walked him over to the uneven bars and looked up at the lowest hanging one. "I think you need to stop doubting yourself."

Dick felt his pockets in search for his cigarettes.. Then he realized he left them at home and his smile instantly fading. 

"What time will we be home?"

"Watch what I do carefully. If and when you replicate it ... I'll reward you with a cigarette." 

Slade covered his hands in a bit of powder and looked up. Yes, he knew Dick had to be itching for one by now, and he wasn't above bribery. 

"Honestly, this feels backward." 

Slade said without context, looking back at Dick then to the bar again. Slade wouldn't know how to do any of this without Dick. 

He grabbed onto the lowest bar and began an 'easy' routine of rotating around the first and completing a handstand before rolling his weight around to transfer onto the next bar. He repeated the same rotation and handstand again, but this time crossing his hands over so he could rotate facing the other direction. He completed two more slow rounds before dismounting and landing on the pad behind the largest bar. It was a powerful display, but Slade knew it lacked any of the fluid grace Dick had. However, he was interested to see his reaction and then first attempt. 

"So ... Grab on and get started."

Dick just stood with his mouth agape before looking around and laughing, "You.... Expect me to do all that?" 

He was surprised that Slade could do it and it showed. He snort and shook his head, "You're going to owe me more than a cigarette for making me look like a dumbass." 

He rubbed some powder on his hands before he hopped in place soon jumping to grab hold of the bar. The first time he missed. The second time he slipped off. 

"Slade, I can't do this." He said with nothing but doubt in his voice. 

He studied Slade's expression and could tell the other wasn't going to just back off like everyone else, it was annoying and unfortunately, Dick was above whining and complaining like a child. He'd just have to do it and either fail miserably or hurt himself to get Slade to see that.

He stepped back before running into his jump. Dick blinked and before he knew it he was doing a handstand above the bar. The motion that he took to get up there was fluid, natural and beautiful however, he seemed to have panicked upon realizing where he was and took a less than graceful tumble back down to the mats.

Slade had smiled watching Dick rise on the bars and still was even when he watched him fall. He stepped onto the mats, squatting down to where Dick was. 

"Kid, you need to trust your body." Slade explained, checking to make sure Dick hadn't actually hurt himself with with a visual inspection. "Good job though, you just did what takes people months to do." 

Slade praised as he ran a hand through Dick's short hair. It made the young man close his eyes a moment before he propped himself up on his elbows.

"So does that mean we're done for today or do you have a different work out routine you wanna do." His tone grew more flirtatious as his eyes scanned down Slade's shirtless form. 

He wasn't opposed to doing it here and now, hell, that would make everything worth it.

"Done?" Slade laughed, "No. We'll work on some strength training and come back to this." 

Slade helped Dick off of the ground and ignored his advances... For now. "Maybe if you champion through this I could give you a reward." 

He gave Dick a suggestive look before pointing over to the weights and other equipment. "I'll spot you ... Come on."

"You're an asshole." 

Dick was starting to get tired from the level of work that'd usually hardly affect him. He used to do this routine and more and  _ still _ have the energy to run another few miles. 

Reluctantly, Dick followed Slade to the weights looking them over before he laid down on the machine, grabbing hold of the barbell. He gave it a push and was barely able to lift it. He used to be able to bench press 350 pounds but clearly he was going to fall much shorter. 

He was already getting up to take some weight off.

"I've got it." Slade offered, changing out the weights himself.

He didn't want Dick to under sell himself and take off too much. "Like I said, trust your body, and if you can't do it, I'm here to catch it." Even Dick's normal weights were pretty much childs play to him. 

They worked on weights for a while, Slade pushed Dick's limits, but made sure that things remained safe and encouraging. 

Then, they came toward the end. Slade walked right past the uneven bars and over to the trapeze that was set up in the back of the main room. It was pretty empty, so Slade wasn't worried about Dick gaining a crowd like he usually did. 

"Alright, we are going up." Slade moved to the ladder and gestured up. "After you."

Dick tensed and eyed the height of the trapeze, he had a bad feeling about this. "This better be the part I enjoy you doing miraculous shit." His arms and body were starting to ache.

He worked on climbing the ladder and before he knew it, he was at the top. The second he looked down he backed up against the beam, clinging onto it like a cat avoiding water. It was clear by his stance that he was growing anxious, his heart starting to pound in his ears. 

"Slade... I don't like this." 

He was never scared of heights before, not that he could remember. This just sent something unnerving down his spine and he couldn't explain it.

"I want down."

"You've done this a million times, Dick." 

Slade reassured him once he joined him at the top. "I wouldn't have you do anything that I didn't think you could. Would I?" 

Okay, so he had pushed Dick a lot today, and Dick probably wanted to kill him for it. 

"You didn't think you could do any of this today, but if you look at the results you did. You're capable of more than you know and you just need to believe it. That's what I'm trying to show you." Slade explained to him and walked over to the trapeze, grabbing onto the first bar and offered a hand out to Dick, "Come on you're safe."

"I fucking hate you right now." Dick admit outright before slowly approaching the bar and the edge. 

He grabbed hold, his hands tight around it. He let Slade test his limits because he was curious where it would take him but... Looking down at that drop? It didn't matter if there was a net, he didn't know how to land safely. 

"Slade.... I don't remember this... I can't do it... This is different than the other stuff. This takes years of-"

Slade wanted to, pun intended, push Dick out of his insecurities. However, he didn't think for two seconds he was actually be putting Dick in any danger. The kid was a natural, head injury or not, his body would know what to do. Slade really did believe that. 

Dick was flying through the air. It felt as though he flew out of his anxiety and into something comfortable. That was until he swore he felt the rope snap. 

His world blackened and he was on the ground, looking up, bright spotlights. He saw a man and a woman in blue gliding through the air. It was beautiful until the rope snapped and they crashed towards the earth. He saw blood, heard screams, there was nothing but panic. The world came back into view, he let go of the bar and barely landed on the platform in front of Slade one of his legs falling off and yet he had nothing to grab because the platform was behind him. A sharp gasp escaped him as he started losing his balance.

Slade reached forward and pulled Dick back by the waistband of his pants until he was far enough back for Slade to wrap an arm around his middle and pull him flush against Slade's chest. 

"I've got you kid, you're safe." 

Slade said in a calm tone, turning them around so Dick could sit down on the platform with his back and butt against something solid. Slade gave him a little space, but went down on one knee in front of him.

"Dick, are you with me?" Slade asked, putting a single hand on his knee.

Dick's head felt like it was spinning. His body trembling. He swore the other could hear his heart pounding. Dick's vision held black dots that made the scene before him seem so much darker. Slade's words pulling him into another memory. He felt like he was drowning, body aching. He was... Wet with something? Blood? He didn't know but he could hear Slade's voice, feel his touch. As he took some breathes to steady himself he began coming to terms with what was happening. He didn't realize that he had taken to clinging onto Slade with a tight deadly grip. 

"I'm... I'm okay... That was... Surreal.." He exhaled and closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose. "I saw... A man and a woman with.. Black hair... They were... On the trapeze and the rope snapped... I watched them die."

"Your parents." Slade answered, letting out a sad sigh. "You grew up in the circus with your parents. You loved them, looked up to them, you always spoke about them fondly. When they were performing one day the ropes snapped on the trapeze and they fell to their deaths. Bruce took you in after that."

Dick listened to Slade carefully, blinking before he looked up at Slade, "Wait... So Bruce isn't my actual dad?"

Wow.... That was a shock. The man practically acted as though he owned Dick. He didn't appreciate it by any means but to find out Bruce wasn't his dad kind of put a pit in Dick's stomach. That man took him in voluntarily and even tried to support him all while Dick was being a major asshole.

"No, Bruce is not your Father. He's not old enough to be your Father. Not everyone ages as well as I do." A little joke, though maybe not the best time. 

Dick let out a strained laugh, "They must be pretty disappointed right about now." 

Dick sighed and sat up a bit to look at Slade. He didn't miss his parents, he couldn't because he didn't remember them but... He did feel that deep sense of loss when he saw them die. 

"I saw something else... Or.... More so experienced it. My body hurt more than it does now.. I think I was bleeding.. But... You were there, helping me.." He fell silent a moment, a saddened expression on his face. "You're still trying to help me and I keep fighting you.... I've just... I've been so angry. All the time.. I just want to fight and hurt both myself and everyone else. I feel like I'm just letting everyone down and like I'm drowning trying to shape up to someone im not."

Slade put a hand over Dick's hand as he spoke, listening as he rubbed his thumb over Dick's. 

"You've been through the kind of trauma that changes people. You were shot and almost died, Dick." Slade wanted that to sink in. "No one walks away from that as the same person. Even if they do have all their memories." 

"I know this may be hard to believe," Slade paused and tipped Dick's chin up a bit, "But I still see  _ you _ ." He let his hand drop. "Even if you have changed, you're still Dick Grayson."

Dick almost looked teary eyed. Not once has he tried making him the person he used to be. He's taken up smoking, sex, alcohol and yet Slade hadn't told him to lay off, hasn't reminded him it's not who he was. He made Dick work out, sure, but he never said he was doing it to make Dick who he was before. He didn't tell him why but the effect of it was Dick building trust in himself and... Frankly? He also felt less... Overwhelmed? Cluttered? Energy in his body felt like it moved freely. 

Now he sat, staring Slade in his eye. He could see the love and admiration. Feel the support. His heart began pumping faster, a light red hue dusting his cheeks. 

"I... That's the sweetest thing anyone has said since I've been shot." He chuckled and pulled back, rubbing his eyes to stop the tears that wanted to fall.

"Thank you." Dick said laughing. He leaned in and kissed Slade's cheek before standing up. 

He took a deep breath before grabbing the bar once more, "Lets see how right you are." He mumbled before stepping off and swinging through the air. 

It felt like he was flying, free. He caught onto the other bar with his legs and swung upside down for a minute before sitting up on it and finally standing. He wore a small smile until he looked down. He bit his lip. He wanted to jump, he didn't know why. There was a net, he'd be safe right? He shook his head and inhaled before going for it. Stepping off of the bar, he fell towards the earth. He felt... Relieved. Free. A larger smile spread across his face as he felt the wind beneath him but it was far too short lived. He hit the net and bounced slightly before letting out a laugh.

  
  
  
  


Dick's entire mood seemed to have shifted since his time at the gymnasium. He didn't complain about a cigarette the whole run back and had even seemed to have forgotten about it. Once they made it home, he had made a protein shake with spinach, kale, blueberries, protein powder, yogurt and milk. The only unhealthy thing he added was a little bit of whiskey. Once he finished drinking his shake, he took a shower and relaxed on the couch where he ended up falling asleep. 

  
  
  
  


As the next days followed, he continued working out. While his mood ultimately had improved, he continued to smoke and drink more than he had the first day. 

Slade was grateful to see Dick's mood improve, but hadn't expected any less. Movement was a huge part of Dick's life and he never enjoyed being still for long. However, even better still, Dick was taking slow strides into a healthier lifestyle. Even if he was still drinking and smoking. Slade was actually very impressed that his appetite for vegetables had increased, he even shared that with him ... Saying it was an improvement.

Slade kept that forward momentum thinking. He focused on what they could do next, tomorrow. Instead of dwelling in the past Slade wanted to move forward into something else ... Frankly? Thinking about the past still hurt too much. Especially when Dick started bringing girls home from the bar.

The first night, Slade had stayed out in the living room, but didn't interfere in the horrible flirting and drunk behavior. However, after that Slade was nowhere to be found when Dick came back from the bars. Nor was he there the morning's after if a girl spent the night. He didn't talk to Dick about the encounters and didn't want to. 

Before he knew it, it was time to have a family dinner with the Wayne's. Dick's mood seemed to switch like a light switch and he grew more irritable on the ride to the manor, getting a head start on the drinking. He wasn't ready to deal with everyone's concern over his well being, he wanted them to be like Slade.

Slade was driving Dick's car to the manor, one hand on the wheel while the other stayed on the arm rest. The ride had been mostly quiet, allowing Dick to adjust to what was going to occur

"... I think it's best if you go in with the worst expectations." Slade said finally, looking over to Dick briefly. "Your family means well, they are just incredibly dysfunctional at times." Not that he had any room to talk. "If you need a break or anything just let me know, but don't go running off on your own."

Dick couldn't help but to let out a heavy sigh, "Is it okay for me to say it's too much now? I don't really see a point to all this. They don't want the new me and the new me doesn't want them." 

Deep down he knew that was bull but... Fuck, he already knew how this was going to go. There was going to be some fight and Slade would be dragging him out of the house steaming. 

Dick lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out the window. "And... For the record. They're not my family. I don't even really know who those people are." 

Slade gave Dick a harsh side eye before looking back at the road. "Dick they  _ are _ your family. I won't force you to do anything," Though that almost seemed contrary to when he pulled Dick out of bed to run the other morning, "But you need to have a relationship with them. They love you and you love them ... You're being stubborn at the moment but you know I'm right." 

They wouldn't care so much if they didn't love Dick, Slade just needed to get him to see that again. 

Dick rolled his eyes, "That's what you think... I can't love people I don't remember and quite frankly? I don't want to get to know them." 

Clearly he wasn't letting go of this. He didn't know how vital relationships were to him, he couldn't. For now he just had to trust Slade even if he didn't like what the other was doing. 

Slade dropped the subject, Dick would learn in time that his family meant everything to him. Until then? Slade would keep that line of communication open to foster healthy relationships. Really that's all he  _ could _ do. 

"We almost there?" God... He sounded like a child.

"Five more minutes ... Do you need me to refill your sippy cup before we get there?" 

Dick snort and playfully punched Slade's arm, "I figured I'll finish getting drunk after we eat dinner, depending on how the night goes.... Maybe you can help me blow off steam" Dick smirked.

He hadn't really had sex with Slade since he's been going out to bars, it seemed he was more interested in finding new fuckbuddies than sticking with the ones he had. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Remember what I told you.... Don't compare Dick to how he used to be, don't hold any expectations of him and give him space." Bruce reminded his children as he waited for Slade's arrival. "Wilson has informed me that Dick's mood has been improving but he's still... Fragile. It won't take much to upset him and the last thing we need is a hostile environment."

"He better watch himself this time." Jason said, clearly still upset about their last encounter and how Dick had treated Damian.

"Jason this is exactly what Bruce is talking about. We need to let these things go. It's part of his condition." Tim reiterated, getting Cass to nod in agreement. 

"I had half my sense knocked out and I didn't get any favors." Jason tried, Barbara actually laughed.

"Jason you are sitting here a free man without jail time. Trust me, you got plenty of favors." She pointed out, making Jason sit back with a half frown on his face. 

"I think we can all agree that Dick has been difficult. However, it sounds like Slade has been able to do what we haven't been the least bit successful at. Bruce is right that we should maintain a welcoming environment and listen to his suggestions."

At first, Barbara hadn't liked Slade just as much as Bruce had. She took Kori and the rest of the Titan's side when they disapproved of the relationship. Yet Dick was happier before the accident with Slade and after the accident as well. It was clear Slade could provide something to Dick other's couldn't. She respected that. 

Bruce let out a heavy sigh, "If he starts getting out of hand, Slade and I will handle it. You and Dick have gotten in enough fist fights as is and it's the last thing we need tonight." Bruce stated to Jason. "We just... Need to treat him as he is. A new member of the family we're getting to know."

"Yeah, maybe minus the twenty questions." Harper chimed in. "I feel like we should have a camera set up, at this rate we can have our own hidden camera show."

"House of Wayne. Billionaire or Disaster." Roy chimed in with a chuckle. "I'm sure it'll all be fine, I'll keep Jason under wraps and as long as no one pisses Dick off the night with go smoothly."

Jason began chuckling at the jokes, but came back to himself after a moment. "I can maintain myself, Roy." He said giving his lover a harsh glare. 

"Someone is sleeping on the couch tonight." Barbara said almost under her breath making Cass and Tim chuckle a little.

"Fuck you guys." Jason shot back, glad Lian was running around the manor somewhere out of range from Jason's potty mouth. "Is this meeting done? Because I need a cigarette."

Bruce sighed before nodding to Jason, pausing to look over his watch. "They should be here any minute. Hurry up." He said before walking away. 

Harper sighed softly, "This is going to be interesting."

"No doubt about that." Roy said as he stood up before holding a hand out to Jason, he was going to get a smoke in too before the chaos started since he couldn't drink. Lord knows he was gonna need something to take the edge off.

  
  
  
  
  


"A private family meeting. You may wait in the sitting room until it is finished. Can I offer either of you a refreshment?" Alfred was walking Joseph and Adam back into the home, explaining where the rest of the house's residents were currently. 

"If it wouldn't be too much, I'd love some tea. This weather always irritates my throat." Joseph said from his communicator, rubbing the scar on his neck.

"Of course not, with lemon and honey?"

"You're the best, Alfred."

"I’m aware ... And you, Doctor?" Alfred asked, looking out the window briefly to see when the other Wilson child might show.

Adam couldn't help but to look around, not because he was awestruck or hadn't been in the house but because the decor was surprisingly well arranged. He didn't doubt that Alfred put time and effort into making sure things were nice and symmetrical. It was very soothing though... It didn't stop him from tweaking one of Thomas' busts. 

"I'm fine, thank you."

He may have been an asshole 99% of the time but he had some manners. He heard Joey's phone buzz, it must've been Rose. Which... It was. 

{Hey little pumpkin patch. I'm going to be a few minutes late! Things are kind of- move you fat chunk of shit who taught you how to drive things are hectic, I'll be there in twenty!} She must've been using her text to speech. 

Joey snorted out something like a laugh when he read the text message. {Just make sure you deliver the package safely!} He hadn't seen Rose or her baby in a few weeks, he could only imagine how she'd grown.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Adam asked the Butler, "And don't say no just because serving people falls within your 'duties'." He spoke making air quotes. 

He couldn't take Alfred as a serious butler. Sure he delivered platters of food, but he also mended serious injuries, served some time in battle and constantly was a support to the bats. Alfred was a force to be reckoned with. A soldier. Not a butler.

"Serving people is not just a duty Dr. Foster, it's a choice as well." Alfred insisted, watching Adam adjust the bust with a little interest. "One I happen to enjoy. I appreciate your offer, but I want the guests of this household to relax during their stay." 

Alfred, from there, moved off to the kitchen to fetch Joey's drink. 

Joey watched him leave and then let out a heavy sigh. [This house is crawling in tense energy. God it makes me want to jump out a window.] He signed to Adam and huffed. [Honey, this dinner is going to be a disaster.]

"It is. Based off of everything I've heard, Dick’s been struggling to get along with his family. That's nothing new, this case is just more severe." 

Personally, Adam didn't mind conflict and had a good way of starting it. But he also didn't feel the tension the same way Joey did. "If you need air at anytime, feel free to step away. It's not your responsibility to put up with any of it." Adam reminded before leaning in to softly kiss Joey.

The kiss relaxed Joey's senses as he was able to focus on the sensation of it rather than the energy in the home. Adam always helped him focus better. Joseph closed the distance between them and just hugged Adam.

‘I'm glad they are finally letting you come to a family dinner ... I know it may sound a little silly but it means a lot to me that they are forgiving you. There has been bad blood for too long.’ Joey pulled back enough to give Adam one of his adoring smiles. ‘That being said ... Both of us might need air tonight. I'll be your scapegoat if you'll be mine.’

Joey wasn't so much worried about the energy. He was able to handle that, it was just Dick ... Dick didn't know anyone or anything. It bothered him.

Adam chuckled and squeezed Joey's shoulders, "I wouldn't say they've forgiven me. Everytime Bruce looks at me it feels like a wave of contempt is being thrown at me though.... I don't blame him." Adam thought aloud. 

From a parent's perspective, Adam felt as though it would be wrong for Bruce to forgive him. 

"Mm, let's see how it goes. Maybe it'll go smoothly. I know how to redirect Dick’s anger if need be." That was right. Validation, jokes, and deep questions. He's cooled Dick down on a magnitude of issues. 

Soon enough, Dick came through the door with Slade. 

"There's the man of the hour." Adam stated before squeezing Joey's shoulder and approaching the two. "Look at that, you're on time."

"Unfortunately." Dick mumbled, "So, what? You Alfred's long lost son or something?"

Adam snort, "Don't let Bruce catch you saying that, he'd be offended. I'm an old friend, our relationship has been complicated." 

Adam reached into his jacket and pulled out a small leather bound journal before handing it to Dick. "That's a summery, coupled with your journal entries and some mental diagnosis on you... I couldn't help it. You seem to be doing decent though, gained a few pounds and picked up some habits."

Dick looked at the journal somewhat ignoring the man for a moment, "I've actually been working out since I've moved back in with Slade." He said as he opened the journal, "Jesus... You're handwriting is beautiful."

"Yeah, that took a while. Slade," Adam decided to address the other, "You seem.... Stressed." 

He saw all the signs, though the lack of sleep was the biggest. He wasn't going to lay it all out. Joey taught him some restraint.

Slade shrugged as he humored Adam. "Stressful situations tend to cause that." He offered with no detail for Adam to pick at ... Hopefully.

Dick looked up at Joey before chuckling, "You must be Slade's kid... You look just like him."

Joey smiled and went to sign to Dick like he usually did and dropped his hands before he could. “Joey, or Joseph if you want to call me by my old man name." He finished and Slade gave him a flat look. "I'm the youngest Wilson and my older sister Rose will be here soon." 

Joey was careful to keep a calculated distance away from Dick to make sure his powers didn't cause any unwanted problems. "It's really nice to see you, Dick ... I've missed seeing you at the tree house." Slade and Dick's house that is. 

Dick offered a small smile towards Joey, "Yeah, a few people say that to me. I must've been a real stand up guy."

"You say that as though you're a bad person now." Adam pointed out. 

"I don't know, could be." Dick said with a dismissive shrug before Alfred entered.

"I wasn't expecting my family to be invited as well ... Given the circumstances..." Slade commented.

"Mister Wilson, your family is always welcomed in this household." Came Alfred's voice from the doorway, passing on a cup of tea to Joey and setting the rest on the coffee table. There was also a pitcher of water, glasses with ice and lemons. 

"I appreciate it, Alfred."

"Of course sir, I'll finish dinner momentarily. The rest of the household should be coming in to greet you shortly."

Adam was sure to thank the butler before turning his attention back to Dick. "I don't think you've changed so much that you're a completely different person."

"You haven't engaged with me long enough to determine that."

"Oh quite the contrary, little Robin, I've gathered a lot from you. You're angry,  _ really  _ angry. Resentful. You don't want to be here and you feel like this is a complete waste of your time. You don't want to listen to people drone on about what was and what could be because you don't think you can meet those expectations because you don't think you're the same person. Really you are the same person, just without constraints."

Dick was silent a moment, his mind racing. He figured there was no use lying about it and elected to focus on the part he could actually talk about.

"Constraints?"

"Throughout a person's life people experience events that shape who they are. They form beliefs, standards, ways of being that fit into how they perceive the world. For example, you were brought up in a house honoring respect above all else. Because of this, you've always been overly kind and often sugar coat things rather than telling things to people straight. You don't have those memories thus you have no reason to hold yourself back. You still have the same thoughts, you're just expressing them."

"...So... You're telling me the old me would be thinking you're a smug, conceited, know it all who thinks you let your psychology degree go to your head?"

Adam paused to think over Dicks question, "Yes. That sounds about right." 

Joseph actually let out a hiss of a laugh when Dick said what he thought of Adam. He may have been in a relationship with the man, but that didn't mean he was disillusioned in the least. 

"I like this Dick." Joey said just before the doors opened and Roy came in. 

"Slick!" Roy exclaimed joyfully, "I had no idea I missed you guys so much."

"Slick?" Barbara asked, looking over to Jason.

"That's what he says their 'relationship' name is. He's like RuPaul handing out team names. We are 'Joy'. Harper and Cass are 'Casper'." Jason explained.

Roy rolled his eyes, "It makes it easier to address people, they kind of start pairing up like an impossible little team of romance." 

The redhead justified before turning his attention to Dick who had elected to sit in a chair and start reading the journal he was given. He showed no interest in interacting with anyone. 

"Aw, that's actually kind of cute." Barbara decided to just have a seat and observe the chaos that she was sure would ensue. 

She expected Dick to get overwhelmed and start snapping at the mouth to get some distance. Then, she expected Jason to get fed up and snap back. By the end of it all, Slade would have Dick thrown over his shoulder like a sack of russet potatoes while Bruce and Roy tried to physically manage Jason. At that point it would be her job to make sure everyone else left the room and behaved themselves with Cass as her enforcer.

Speaking of which, wasn't she just behind her before she came in the room?

  
  
  


Cass had stopped Harper in the hallway out of ear shot to the sitting room, holding her hands with a serious look on her face. "I have a special assignment for tonight." She told her, "Damian ... I want to make sure he is okay." 

Cass had been there the night that Dick was hurt and seen the way the youngest had unraveled when he thought his brother was going to die. She'd also seen and heard first and second hand the way their relationship had deteriorated since Dick began his recovery. 

While she didn't necessarily have the conscious know how to describe how absolutely heartbroken she was for Damian and the complex emotions she felt being his 'big sister', what she did know was that she wanted to support him tonight in anyway she could. Bruce would be busy with Dick, Roy with Jason, Tim with himself, and so on. She could read a room like a damn champ. 

The only hole she truly saw was someone who was going to be focused one-hundred percent on Damian and would actually be level headed enough to support him if he needed it. Cass wasn't sure how to do that exactly if she was honest, but she wanted to try.

Cass also knew that she was a lot stronger and more effective when she too learned to rely on others and worked with a team. Harper was her main team, her constant support, so of course, she was her first go to in regards to her 'mission' tonight.

"That's a good point.. Dick's been a royal asshole and a lot of his anger goes towards Damian..... If you can focus on keeping him at ease then I can make sure I redirect Dick's comments... I'm sure others will too.. And I'll also help you with Damian but... We should be subtle.. He doesn't think he needs help."

Cass nodded, quickly agreeing with everything Harper had to say. "They are all so stubborn. It's frustrating at times." Cass couldn't have said anything more true. She knew her family well though. "Thank you for dealing with us." 

Cass pulled Harper a little closer, standing up on her tiptoes so she could kiss her. 

Harper softly kissed Cass back and ruffled her hair before they entered the room.

  
  
  


"I'm glad you were able to make it." Bruce stated.

Dick responded with, "That makes one of us." 

Bruce didn't regard the comment, in fact, he ignored the other all together which made him look up from the journal. "Slade." The bat used the single word as his own personal greeting towards the other before moving to take a seat. 

"Brucie." Slade said in response, looking over to Joseph who shook his head.

Suddenly, Rose burst into the room, toddler in her arm and some form of cheesy crackers tangled up in her hair. 

"Oh look, go see Grandpa." She said as she handed the child over to Slade. 

The baby's skin was a dark fiery red and she had long curly white hair. "Papa!" She babbled happily and clung to Slade like a koala before giggling and hugging his head. 

Slade lit up immediately. "My little Princess!" He held her up and placed tiny, rapid kisses on her cheek. "Are you making Momma crazy again?" 

"Ya!"

"Well, at least that's honest." Slade laughed, unhooking her little fingers and moving her hand down from his eye patch before she yanked that off again. It was becoming a habit. Though, he came prepared for that too. He pulled an extra eye patch out of his pocket and gave it to his Granddaughter.

Dick arched a brow, "And  _ I'm  _ the fucked up one?"

Rose tore the cracker she had been trying to work out clean out of her hair before pointing a finger at Dick, "Say something like that again and I'll kick you in the balls so hard you'll become the little bitch you are, do you hear me?" 

Slade just snapped his fingers in support of his daughter, which, was probably the closest to a sassy gay Slade would ever be. However, he did see an opportunity here to crack through the tough exterior Dick was putting up. 

"Dick..." Slade sat down next to him, Sophie in his lap, who looked at Dick immediately, obviously recognizing him. "This is my Granddaughter Sophia." Who, currently, was making manic grabby hands toward Dick. "She'd like to say ‘hi’."

Dick made a point to lean away from the child briefly but... Something deep,  _ deep  _ inside of him pulled him towards her. He looked like he was going to give some snarky response however instead went silent and welcomed the girl in his lap.

"Hi." He said simply, the little girl lighting up which just made him smile.

Slowly, he began easing, his expression growing softer than it had that whole interaction. He couldn't help but to let out a breath even. Slade smiled, the interaction was so pure and genuine. Little Sophie loved Dick and it was obvious. She didn't care about any of the things that happened to him, nor did she want anything from him but his attention and love. Regardless of Dick's condition, Slade trusted he would do just that, even with his own Granddaughter. 

Sophia began half coherently babbling to Dick as if she was having a conversation. She brought up her eye patch and held it out to Dick before changing her mind and attempting to stand up so she could fix it onto Dick's wrist like a bracelet. Dick even help her do so before bouncing her in his lap which elicited a giggle. His face only lit up more before he began bouncing his legs making a sound effect to go along with it. His mind was slowly painting together pieces of the situation. While he couldn't recall a specific event, he knew that this situation had played out before. 

Joey was smiling on the other side of the room. Currently helping his sister straighten out her hair from the cracker and cheese debacle before beginning to braid it back for her. He knew better than to get close to Dick. One wrong move and Dick might get enough flashbacks to send him into a tailspin. Besides, Joseph and Slade had talked before dinner. His father had clearly let Joey know that it needed to be Dick's decision if and when he wanted any of his memories back. Right now? Joey agreed with the fact that Dick wasn't stable enough to handle the flood of emotions remembering would bring.

Joseph had been down this road before with other heroes. Most would disagree, saying it was Dick's right to remember. That it was wrong for Joseph to hold back when he could 'help', but ... He'd seen this exact situation go badly before. It wasn't as black and white as people would believe it to be. 

"So ... Where is Eddie this evening? I thought he might come along. I'm sure Alfred invited him." Was Slade prying? Yes. However he was sure Dick would appreciate the heat being thrown elsewhere at least for a while.

The rest of the group seemed broken off into idle chatter. Bruce and Babs talking business, Jason and Roy taking guesses at where Lian may have run off to in the giant mansion, while Tim, Harper, and Cass talked amongst themselves.

"We're taking a break. I told him he could see Sophie later this weekend." She knew the back and forth would get confusing for her daughter but.. Right now she wasn't ready to commit to someone for a life long duration, even if they had a kid together.

  
  
  


Behind all this the door to the manor had opened and closed with virtual silence. A small figure hid just behind the door frame, checking the room before he'd enter. Damian was home from school. While curious at first, seeing Dick with Rose's baby, so naturally attuned to her ... Hurt. He missed Dick looking at him like that.

Cass stopped paying attention to whatever technobabble Harper and Tim had gotten into and stared at Damian snooping. She got up from her seat and moved out of the room, taking up space next to Damian, out of sight too. She didn't say anything, just stood with him, and eventually took his hand as silent encouragement. She could feel his want to snatch his hand back … But in the end ...He didn't.

  
  


Adam sat near Dick, he wanted to tread carefully but also wanted to get Dick to do some self reflection so he wasn't tearing himself apart. 

"Have you handled kids at all recently?"

Dick looked up at him, pausing his play, "No... But... It's like I can remember doing it I just can't... Put the picture together."

"That's normal... It's kind of how a certain smell can bring you peace or just a subtle reminder of something." Adam noted before holding his wrist out near Dick. 

Dick gave him a skeptical look before smelling the others wrist, his features easing. "... I felt this way when I smelled Slade for the first time." Dick commented, his attention shifting to playing with Sophia's hands making her giggle more.

"You were very close to us in the past... Our relationships were always very complicated... You'll see that if you choose to read the journal."

"If I choose?"

"Yeah... Dick, I'm not going to force you to reconnect with your past... I think it'll help give you a compass in discovering who you are, but you don't have to use it. There are other tools."

"And if I don't want to discover myself?"

Adam shrugged in response, "That's okay too... But... The way your face lights up whenever you get that missing piece tells me you'll change your mind." 

"Mm... Well... Maybe later you can give me some... Demonstrations on how close we were." Dick suggested giving a small flirtatious smirk.

Adam laughed, "Still a flirt... Why don't we see how things go, hm?"

"Yeah... I might be drunk by then." Dick commented before returning his attention to playing with the child.

Adam sat silently for a moment before taking note of Damian and Cass. 

  
  
  


"A break?" Slade quirked a brow.

"Because that wasn't a loaded response." Joey quipped from behind Rose.

"It was." Slade admitted, seeing Joey's focus follow somewhere else. "Eddie is a good man, Rose. He treats you well, he obviously cares about you. I'm not saying you should be with him. That's for you to decide ... But if you keep pushing him away ... Eventually he won't come back."

Rose couldn't help but to let out a sigh, "I know... I'm just not entirely sure I'm ready for... Something serious. He's nice but." She paused and let out a sigh, "I'll hurt him. I think he'd be better off settling down with some nice town girl." Rose couldn't help but laugh at the thought, "I just can't give him what he needs until I figure my own crap out."

"You'll only hurt him if you want to Rose. That man has been willing to put up with you this long ... I don't see how he couldn't know what he's getting into at this point." Slade was half joking and half serious. "I think you're not giving him due credit ... But also you're selling yourself short if you think you're not worth a good, stable, healthy relationship, Rose." 

She deserved that and more, Slade truly thought that. He looked over at Sophia and Dick with a smile that went from genuine to forced quickly. "If you can learn anything from my mistakes it's that you should appreciate every moment you have with someone you love ... For all you know it could be your last." 

Rose followed Slade's gaze, taking his words to heart before she reached and gave his arm a squeeze. "You're... Right.." 

Her gaze briefly landed on Dick before going back to her father, "How have you been dealing with things? This must be really hard for you. I mean... I know its hard for everyone but... He's the first person who really loved you the way you needed it." She wasn't afraid to point out the facts, even if these were things hard to talk about. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Adam almost hesitated before approaching and casually leaning against the wall, soon speaking to Damian. "I can tell you want to get close to him... The key is to give him space. Not right now, but in a little bit, I want you to walk over there and just quietly sit near him for a while... Then, just give a little comment like, 'its nice to see you smiling.' Or 'what’s your favorite food?' Something neutral that'll start a conversation in a non invasive way... He'll remember how he feels about you, he just needs to be aware that you're not the enemy... Right now he's in a me vs them mentality."

"Are you truly attempting to come up to me and give some crappy Mary Poppins advice after I just watched you shamelessly flirt with my brother in front of his fiance?" Damian asked, crossing his arms and giving Adam a firm glare.

Even if the advice was useful, Damian was clearly upset and not willing to be grateful for it. "It doesn't matter how he feels about me. Before or now. I'm not going to bother wasting time on someone who wants nothing to do with me or our family." Damian clearly wasn't planning on following along with the family agreement.

Cass shook her head, putting a hand on his back. "Dami, you don't mean that. You're upset." 

Damian once again looked like he wanted to shake her off but didn't. She knew it was out of respect, and she intended to use that to her advantage. Always strategic.

"I'm not upset I'm realistic." Damian replied, watching behind Adam as Joey approached and grabbed him by the arm, not softly either and pulled him away with a small smile.

"Damian is home~" He called into the room with a smile as he continued out of the room with Adam. 

  
  


[What the hell is the matter with you?] Joey asked once they stopped, giving Adam a look that could give Superman's heat vision a run for its money. [You know I don't care who you flirt with, nor who you fuck, Adam, but that in there-] 

Joey stopped his angry signing and clearly tried to pull himself together as the lights flickered above him. [My father is struggling enough with all this. The last thing he needs is you coming in here and flirting with his ... Ex. I guess. Fuck.] Joey let out a sigh. [I wish you could feel the hurt coming off him in waves. It's heartbreaking. Yet he's being so strong ... It isn't right, Adam.]

Adam let out a sigh and held up a hand, "I know it's... Not right,but frankly? Right now he needs to be unarmed. If flirting makes him comfortable then right now it's what he needs otherwise, he'll keep looking at everyone as an enemy..." Adam didn't know if he could explain it in a way he could make Joey understand. "I'll speak with your father before dinner, sound fair?"

[Fair? This isn't about being fair, Adam.] Joey stressed, [Dick has been through such an incredible amount of trauma and I know better than to ignore that. I ache for him too but this is different.] Joseph's eyes became shiny, he looked up at the ceiling for a moment. 

[Think about what it might be like for me to forget you, or Ma heaven forbid. Think about what it would be like to sit next to someone you love and know you can't touch or relate to them the way you used to even when you see them hurting.] Joey explained to Adam things from a personal perspective often, it helped humanize the emotions. 

[Right now? I could give two fucks about how Dick feels. My Dad is dealing with heartbreak I can't ...] He stopped to wipe away a tear falling down his cheek. [Dick is off limits. End of story. Alright?]

Adam let out a sigh, it was frustrating for him to dance around other people's emotions. Frankly? He didn't care about them, hence why he was so unapologetic. He also didn't operate from an emotional standpoint but a logical one. He believed that giving Dick breathing room would help him de-escalate, relax, maybe even smile for once. He didn't plan to pursue anything with him, he just knew Dick liked the attention flirting brought. 

"Fine... But so we're clear, I'm not going to dance around everyone's emotions. That's what everyone is doing and it’s only pushing Dick further and further away. I know it  _ hurts _ , believe it or not, it's hard for me too, but if they keep putting their feelings, pain and discomfort first then Dick is going to burn more and more bridges... Right now, he's lost and with everyone gushing about how much they miss him and how much he's hurting them... He doesn't have room to figure out who he is or who he wants to be because he's too busy defending himself."


	5. Chapter 5

Alfred had everyone move into the dining room for supper. By now, Dick had given Sophia back to Rose and soon sat at the table. Alfred had prepared Chicken Tikka Masala, a meal Dick's mother used to cook him. In fact? Dick "taught" Alfred to cook the meal when he was a child, it had been an incredibly bonding moment between the two. 

Adam made sure to sit somewhat across the table, keeping space between himself and Dick since he knew how touchy feely the other got, while he didn't agree with Joey's sentiment he didn't want to go against his request. 

"So, is this the part we all pretend to love each other?" Dick questioned.

Harper scoffed and took Cassandra's hand, "Maybe you don't love anyone here but I very much love this one right here." She smirked.

Cass smiled at the outward show of affection, she leaned over and kissed Harper's cheek. Damian gave a small sound of disgust as he always did when people kissed or got gooey in which Cassandra responded by shoving him softly.

Dick took a bite of food, his eyes closing for a moment as he tasted it. The expression on his face showed pure pleasure and his body visibly relaxed. 

"Wow…. Can you move into Slade's place please?" Dick asked the Butler. 

"I will cook for you whenever you'd like, Master Dick, but unfortunately you'll have to visit the manor to eat it." 

Alfred set the rest of the table with food and drinks, Jason helping as he usually did, before they both sat down at the dinner table with everyone else. 

"From what I understand Mr. Wilson can cook well himself."

"Not like you, Alfred. I don't think any of us can hold a candle to your cooking." Slade replied and Alfred took the praise with a curt nod. He wouldn't fight it because, frankly, it was true. 

Joey was working on letting Sophie try little bits of dinner in between her own special plate that Alfred had prepared for her. She seemed to enjoy both and both her and Joey were having a hard time containing the mess, but that was per the usual. 

Jason was silent for a moment, then, something just seemed to snap. "Look, Dick ..." Jason said, putting down his fork. "We all do love each other here, because we are a family. The only fucking one we have." 

"Language." Alfred said with a scoff, gesturing over to Lian. 

Jason let out a small huff and sat back, "All I'm saying is that we are family. Biologically no, but for some of us it's literally all we have. I know it's hard for you right now, but don't discredit what the rest of us have because of your own feelings." 

Jason clearly wasn't following Bruce's rules. He was too upset with Dick's bratty attitude and what he had done to Damian prior to this. It was all bubbling up from inside of him without his control.

Adam could see anger briefly flicker in Dicks expression before he opened his mouth. The Doctor decided to cut in before things got out of hand.

"What Jason is trying to say, is that his relationship with everyone is different than your relationship with everyone."

"I know what he meant." Dick nearly snapped.

"Then why does that anger you? Do you desire to have the same quality connections?" Adam didn't leave much pause after his question as though Dick answered, "You're the only one pushing them away. Which is fine, but don't blame them for your reluctance."

"I never said I wanted that."

"You don't have to, Dick. It's obvious. Just like its obvious that you're afraid."

"Oh don't give me that bullshit." Dick scoffed, Bruce was about to intervene but Adam cut in.

"Let me ask you... If you 'hate' this family so much, then why are you still here?"

This question made Dick stop, his gaze shifting to the floor briefly before he shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. He stayed quiet and proceeded with eating. Bruce went to speak and Adam gestured for him not to. He wanted Dick to either answer the question or change the subject on his own. After poking at his food, he finally stopped and set his spoon down before sighing.

"Look... I'm sorry for being... Hard and difficult I just..." He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I don't know."

"Anger is a secondary emotion." 

Damian seemed to speak up out of nowhere, having set down his utensils and was looking at Dick from down the table. 

"When you're scared, confused, or hurt it's natural to get angry and even act out." Damian looked down at his food. "My Mother dropped me off here at the mansion a few years ago and I was so angry, unreasonable, explosive. It took … A lot of support and understanding to realize I was just ... Scared, dealing with trauma. It's... Tough though." 

Damian sounded like Dick and in a way he hoped that Dick hearing himself through Damian would help him somehow. "I know we haven't gotten along but I'm here for you ... We all are."

Dick actually listened to Damian, sinking down visibly in his seat as he brought his fingertips to his mouth. It was obvious he was actually taking a moment to process all of what Damian was saying. His expression took on that same puppyish look it got.

"I... Need a minute, but... Thank you." Dick then left the table, presumably heading upstairs to his own room. That seemed to be a safe space for him. 

"That went marvelously."

"Did it?" Bruce questioned, looking to Adam who straightened. 

"He's thinking rather than making brash impulsive choices. This bout of introspection is exactly what he needs, now we just need to give him some space."

Damian nodded and patted Bruce's shoulder, "He's going to be alright Father." Damian reassured him before going back to eating his meal.

Cassandra leaned over, and whispered in Harper's ear. "I don't think Damian needs our help." As a big sis? She couldn't be prouder. 

Slade stayed seated, though it was obvious he wanted to leave the room. He looked tense and focused on everything but the conversation around him. Joey intervened eventually and had him take over feeding Sophia so he could eat his meal. Though, realistically, it was more about getting his mind off of things. As expected, Slade gave Sophia his full attention and dinner came to a close shortly after.

Slade took enough time to clean up Sophia and get her cuddled up on the sofa with Lian and Damian to watch a movie. She seemed excited to hang out with big kids. Particularly staring at Lian with wonder, but she also looked sleepy. He doubted she'd last another fifteen minutes. He moved into the kitchen to grab a water. Alfred and Jason were washing dishes talking about how Lian was doing in school.

Alfred then turned to look at Slade once he grabbed a bottle out of the fridge. "He's in his room."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't act daft, Mr. Wilson. Master Richard ... I believe enough time has passed." 

Alfred dried his hands and went over to a Tupperware container tucked away by the stove and began preparing a tray. 

"Peanut butter chocolate chip cookies should get you in the door." He handed the plate to Slade before shooing him out of the kitchen.

  
  
  


Dick had taken the time he was upstairs to work on packing his things. A lot of it wasn't stuff he wanted to take and so he left them in their places, however in his box he acquired clothes and many photos that he found lying around. He was laying on his back, staring at the ring he found on top of his dresser. The one from his and Slade's engagement... 

"Dick? ... Hey ... can I come in?"

Dick heard from the other side of the door after a knock. He sighed and closed his fist around the ring before he got up and set it back on top of the dresser. He moved and opened the door, leaving it open as he returned to the room and resumed packing items. 

"I'm not.... Mad... Just so you know. I just... Needed quiet earlier." He commented, looking at a framed photo of him and Barbara only she was in a wheelchair. 

"I understand." Slade stated simply. 

He snagged a cookie off the top of the plate and watched Dick pack silently. 

"Were you ready to go?"

"I'm in no rush. Take your time." 

Slade moved over to set the plate down on the dresser and noticed the ring on it immediately. He reached up and let his fingers graze over his own chest.

Dicks gaze followed Slade's and he couldn't help but to let out a small laugh before approaching the other, standing next to him. 

"A few months ago.. Back when everything was fresh and I was trying to get to know myself and all that crap... I... Contemplated pursuing you. Getting to know you and understanding what we had. I wanted an opportunity to give it back.. To choose what I wanted... Barbara pointed out how that wouldn't be fair to you and that... Showing up just to leave would hurt you." He paused and picked the ring up, "So.. I guess I decided to keep it." 

Dick paused, holding it in his fist for a moment, "I mean... If you really want it back... I.. I don't know why, I'd prefer to keep it." His brows furrowed, he didn't understand why had such a strong pull to some of these things. A need to have them. It had to have been subconscious.

Slade looked over at him with an unreadable expression. "It's always been yours. I'd rather you keep it as well."

Slade let out a small huff of a laugh and smiled a little. 

"You spent so much time picking them out. We both did. Believe it or not, I asked you to marry me without a ring. Kind of just happened. We were always kind of untraditional. I liked it that way though." Slade then stopped and shook his head. "I'm being sentimental. You can ignore me."

It was more personal than he'd meant it to be, it just slipped out so easily.

Dick's eyes never left the ring as he listened to Slade, a small smile on his lips up until the end when he shook his head. "It's.. Fine.... I can see how we worked so well together. I just... I wish I could remember what it felt like.. In all the photo's I have this stupid love struck expression everytime you look at me or whenever I'm next to you and... I don't know... It just feels.." He paused, "It's weird not remembering that... Weird seeing you and understanding it but.." 

He stopped, this must've been hurtful to hear. Dick was saying he didn't love Slade any more but... He enjoyed his company. 

Slade stayed silent once again. As stoic as he had been, there seemed to be a crack in the foundation at that moment. The words did hurt him, it was clear on his face. It was one thing to surmise that Dick no longer loved him, one thing to 'know' it based on obvious cues and what the trauma Dick had gone through had done to his mind. It was different entirely to hear it come out of Dick's mouth, shredding apart every single doubt he could have had. Confirming everything he had known to be true. 

What he and Dick had was gone. The years of building trust, commitment, love. In the blink of an eye it ceased to exist in any way that mattered. 

Yet, despite all of that, Slade wasn't turning to leave or abandoning Dick because of it. He wasn't going anywhere. Even if Dick never even considered him a friend again Slade would still love him regardless. It was truly unconditional... Even if it did hurt. He could live with it.

"We should... Start heading out... I think I might go out tonight and... Clear my head, try to gather my thoughts.... I feel all..." He made a gesture with both of his hands shaking by his head as a way to finish the sentence.

"I can help you move these boxes to the car."

"It's just the two boxes." He gestured, For the time being, sliding the ring back on though it seemed entirely subconscious before he picked a box up. 

"Just be safe while you're out. I'll make sure the doorman knows to let you in." Slade responded as if he hadn't just had his heart ripped out. He bent over and picked up the other box. "You should take your car too. It's about time you drove it."

Dick snort, ignoring the signs he picked up from Slade. It was all he could do because no words would console the other, "Yeah... Yeah you're right.

After making it to the suite, Dick unpacked his things and set out to his usual bar. For the first time in forever he didn't try to pick up anyone. He didn't even flirt. He just drank and drank and drank. Around one in the morning, he decided to head home. He got into his car and started it up before going on his way. Dick felt abnormally emotional, millions of thoughts running through his impaired brain. As he approached a light he stopped and picked up his phone sending a couple texts to Eric. They were confrontational and at this hour, too long to sustain within the frame of the red light. He kept driving and half way through his message decided it would be better to call. 

He scrolled through the menu, glancing up at the road here and there before clicking Eric's contact info before putting the phone to his ear. He didn't realize that his gaze had remained towards the dash and as he heard the start of a "Hell-" the car was spinning out of control. He had heard the crash, felt the air leave his lungs before the car crashed into a lightpost, deeply denting in the drivers side. From there everything went dark.

  
  


Slade, however, knew about the crash as soon as it happened. A siren like sound came from his phone alerting him of what happened to the car. It detailed damage, the spin out. Slade just let it play over the speaker as he headed out the door and to his car. 

Slade was rushing down the roads, swerving around cars, and making Batman's driving look safe in comparison. He saw the crash and pulled off immediately, having arrived before any of the emergency services could have. 

"Contact 911 with my location." Slade said before leaving the car entirely. 

His heart was beating out of his chest at the scene. Every memory of the nightmare they'd gone through months before spurring him forward to find out if Dick was alright. 

Slade used his inhuman strength to physically lift and move the side of the car away from the light pole so he could access the driver side of the car. The door was bent in, but it didn't stop him from ripping the thing off of its hinges to get to Dick inside. 

"Dick!" Slade leaned in and began checking over him immediately. "Kid, say something to me so I know you are okay."

Dick's face was covered in blood however the wound didn't appear to be large or deep. He let out a soft groan upon hearing Slade's voice, his brows moving in a way that expressed pain. He didn't fully lose consciousness but he was having a hard time staying awake, perhaps a sign of concussion. Underneath the scent of blood, the smell of alcohol on his breath was present. His eyes were only cracked open and he shifted to move letting out a pained hiss. His eyes fluttered closed again as his head rested against the back of the seat though he reached out, an attempt to touch Slade. He was scared and hurt but he didn't have the capacity to express it.

Slade could tell he needed a hospital and this wasn't something he felt comfortable taking him home for. Vigilantes did a lot of patch work, but Dick had a serious head injury he was recovering from. Slade wasn't going to take the chance on his own. 

"The ambulance is coming. Everything is going to be alright. Keep your head still." Slade instructed, taking Dick's reaching hands with one of his one and gripping it while the other supported his head so it would stay in place. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Dick felt like he was seeing stars but... After a while he realised that he was. The night sky was above him, he heard a playful voice. It was soft and warm, young. He looked over and saw Damian laying beside him. He could hear him naming all of the constellations. It was absolutely amazing. 

As Dicks eyes fluttered open, he found himself in the hospital. The sound of machines beeping next to him, a warm hand on his own. His head was spinning and he didn't feel like himself. Dick sat up and began pulling the IV needle from his arm, along with the other machine pieces. His heart rate had accelerated before he pulled off the thing reading his heart beat. 

Slade jumped up from his spot and tried to contain Dick the best he could. Maybe he shouldn't have taken Dick to the gym, he was getting strong again. 

"Kid, calm down. Calm down." Slade repeated until he stopped. A nurse looked at them, ready to enter. Slade looked over and gestured for her to give them a minute. 

"Ah." Dick hissed before briefly touching his head. "You're... Still here." He spoke softly, his body shaking slightly.

"Of course I'm still here. I promised didn't I?" Slade said, gently leaning Dick back so he would relax. "You were in a car accident. They are reviewing your test results and scans now." 

Slade sat himself on the side of Dick's bed and worked on resetting his monitoring devices. The IV would have to be reset by the nurse because he simply didn't have the correct tools to do so.

"Your head hurts." It was obvious enough. "I'll have the nurse call your doctor and bring in a new IV line. You need to keep it in this time."

"No... Please.... I already feel out of it, I don't want any more drugs."

Dick rubbed his temples as he spoke, he'd rather feel pain than feel like his body was numb. He could still feel the pain killers and it was making him want to crawl out of his skin. In fact, he wasn't really able to contain his emotions and could feel his eyes starting to tear up. 

"No more drugs then. You need fluids though. I promise they won't give you anything else." Slade wouldn't let Dick go without an IV. It just was going to happen.

"I'm so stupid." He muttered and pushed his own hair back. 

He just got out of jail and now he was going to end up with a DUI if not something worse.

"I should've called you to pick me up.. It was stupid to drive... I could've died." Dick let his head rest against the pillow before putting his hands over his eyes, "I'm destroying everything I had." 

Slade listened to Dick and finally reached out, running his fingers through Dick's hair like he used to. "But you're alive and tomorrow is a new day." 

"You were stupid. Beyond stupid ... You won't do it again." A statement that Slade meant. "It's in the past though. Beating yourself up over it won't help. Just do better tomorrow. Right now? I want you to rest, Dick."

Dick only took some comfort in Slade's words before he shook his head, "I can't just rest.... There's... So much I need to do. That I need to fix.. I... I can't keep trying to do this on my own and I don't want to die knowing that this is how I lived my life." 

A few loose tears streamed down his face. He kept his gaze off of Slade as he took some time to steady himself. Slade didn't hesitate to work on wiping some of those tears. 

"I... Don't want to keep drinking and smoking and sleeping around... I want to care about people, I want to fall in love, get a job... I don't want to be alone anymore.."

Dick laughed at that though it was filled with nothing but hurt, "And yet I keep hurting people so that I'm not the only one hurting... I'm just tired of it. But I don't know how to change.. Or how to open up.. Or how to love... I'm so lost right now."

Slade could see just by looking at Dick's face how incredibly hard this was for him. Hard to admit to himself but even harder to have to realize the consequences and try to find answers in a mind that wasn't quite ready for the load. 

"You take things one problem, step, day at time." Slade started, remaining calm. Trying to give Dick anchoring support. 

"Taking the first step of wanting to change is the biggest, hardest one to make. If you want to change, the rest will come." There was absoluteness and pure belief in his voice. He didn't doubt Dick.

Dick finally seemed to relax, his hand squeezing around Slade's as he finally looked at him.

"You're right... Thank you.... I'm thinking maybe we can create a schedule. Make a plan to help me stay on track.... I felt this way the first time I woke up and somewhere along the way I let my anger and resentment get the best of me... I don't want to go there again. I think as a start, I need to quit drinking." 

Dick paused briefly as his gaze shifted down to Slade's hand, "I don't expect you to stop purchasing alcohol or stop having it in the house but maybe we can lock the cabinet or something..... And I think at some point I want to stop smoking... It's not helping my stress, it only adds to it..... And... I also want to find time to talk to everyone.. Not.. Soon but.. I know I want to start with Damian.. I had a dream or... Memory and I actually felt something and I want to explore that."

"Alright." Slade answered simply. "The alcohol can go. I don't need it and it isn't worth risking your sobriety. In fact, Roy would be a good resource for you. We can get you nicotine patches to wean you off of your cigarettes slowly. Your body doesn't need the stress of going cold turkey." 

Slade was helping give shape to Dick's plans, making a mental list in his head that he would actually put down into a tangible paper plan later. Dick seemed to do well with lists and physical reminders. Which was probably even more necessary now because of his head injury. 

"I can help get the ball rolling with your family. I'll call and tell them about the accident. However, I'll let them know it needs to be one or two visitors at a time by appointment only at our home."

Yes, Slade did still call it their home. It would never be anything else. "I'll let you reach out to Damian ... He will appreciate it more from you."

Slade was curious what the memory was, but didn't ask. Recovering it in detail might give Dick more pain than he could deal with currently. 

"Now. IV for fluid. I'm going to step out to make a few phone calls so things are ready for you to come home."

"Okay... I already miss my bed." 

Dick chuckled and put his hand over his face, he hurt and was starting to feel sick from his head spinning. He  _ hated _ pain killers. 

"And Slade?" He started, moving his hand so he could look at the other, "Thank you." 

There was something familiar in his expression. It looked like the same uncomfortable yet filled with love and appreciation. An expression he'd have when he was sick and Slade was taking care of him. Unless someone was in danger or he was working a case, it almost seemed like he exaggerated the symptoms some times for attention. Dick could vaguely remember Slade telling him that all he had to do for attention was ask for it. 

Slade felt a flutter in his chest when he registered the look Dick gave him. It filled him with a kind of hopeful joy he wanted to be careful feeling. Slade wanted to remind himself that Dick and he weren't together but ... Damn it if he hadn't missed Dick looking at him like that. With such love. His heart had ached for it all this time and the taste of this alone was so gratifying. 

"Kid, you're worth it." Slade said squeezing his shoulder. "Let me bring the nurse in." With that Slade left and stood outside the door for a moment with the biggest, stupidest looking smile on his face.

The nurse stopped and quirked a brow. "You look happy." She asked once Dick's sliding glass door was shut.

"No just... In love."


	6. Chapter 6

Six days went by since Dick's car accident. The first couple of days were difficult as he came off of the alcohol and had less nicotine in his body. He was moody and cranky but for the most part redirected that anger to punching bags in the gym. His body was returning to its former muscle definition from the amount he had been working out, that on top of eating healthy helped a lot. Everything was going according to plan with the exception of the nights he ended up in Slade's sheets. He wondered if it hurt the other being so close, but unlike the times prior to this, there was more intimacy in the air, almost as though Dick was coming close to rediscovering his love for Slade. He stayed and talked with the other for a while before returning to his bed and the next day he would even made breakfast. 

Dick focused on looking into an education and browsed some jobs. He talked with Bruce on the phone for a bit which got him a position at Wayne Industries. He even finally got around to reaching out to Wally and planned on going out to lunch with him. 

Currently, he was in the armory. Slade wasn't home and he got curious. Upon seeing his old uniform he decided to try it on, taking a minute to figure out how to get his body to fit. He squeezed his way in and worked on adjusting himself to make things less visible, he assumed he normally wore a jockstrap otherwise…. Why would he have bothered wearing a suit at all. 

"Jesus… I look like I’m wrapped in a Trojan condom." Dick paused and snickered at his own joke, "You're a Dick in latex."

  
  
  


Slade came back from a job and moved through the apartment straight back to the armory so he could take off his uniform. The access door was already open when he found it, a brow quirking up as he walked inside and found Dick playing dress up in an old Nightwing uniform.

"Very funny." Slade responded from behind him, and lord was it a view he missed. "While I enjoy the ...  _ Assets _ of the latex, I never liked it. I wanted you in something with more protection, but you always complained it would ruin your flexibility."

Dick snort, "Flexibility? How did I even move in this thing?" He asked twisting his body a little, "Think Bruce would be mad if I changed it to white and called myself Trojan man?"

Slade let out a low chuckle, "I'll say the same thing to you I've been saying for years: you don't need Bruce's permission to do anything. You want to be a condom crime fighter? Fine by me." Slade was joking, obviously, but the sentiment is the same.

Dick then looked back to the mirror and let his hands run over the suit, "I saw data about it in the cave... It has armor, it's just not as sturdy as everyone else's..." He then worked on trying to get out of the suit, "Can you help me? I'm stuck." 

Slade moved behind Dick and began the process of sliding off the shoulders and loosening it. He definitely had experience removing this particular garment. 

"You forgot baby powder." Slade commented, "It pulls on your skin otherwise ... Next time you want to get in it I can help you." Slade offered, backing up once he got it from around Dick's torso and around his hips.

"Or maybe I can finally convince you into a new suit design. Something designed by Ikon and not Fox. Lucius is an amazing technician, but Ikon builds the world's best. You'd never let me ... Some nonsense about the price tag and wanting to stick with your 'guy'." Slade used memories to explain things, not as a way to make Dick feel self conscious or like he had to live up to something but to give Dick a sense of the choices he made.

"You know... I... I can't say now whether or not I want the superhero life.. I think I'd want to try it out first, test myself. But.." He paused and moved closer to Slade, touching his suit and studying the design. "If you have some ideas I can look over, I won't object. Your suit seems very sturdy and.. Feeling this on me actually feels good." 

It had to have been the subconscious connection his brain had built around the suit. His eyes shifted back to the mirror briefly before he stepped back and worked on taking the rest of it off, leaving him in his underwear. "I read Adams journal.. He explains what the whole Nightwing thing means.... The great rebuilder, the catalyst of change... It's funny how much I'm changing now."

"A little ironic isn't it?" Slade said, moving over to an empty case where he began removing his own gear and placing it inside. Though, he did stop to look at Dick's figure once again. 

"It is ironic... But it's cool.. Inspiring." Dick spoke thoughtfully. He didn't remember Robin or Nightwing but for the first time since he's woken up he can see them staring back at him.

"The name has always suited you in one way or another. Whether you decide to do vigilante work again or not, it'll be a part of who you are." Slade unclipped his weapons and began setting them on a nearby bench as well. 

"I'm finished with work for the night ... Are you hungry?"

"Oh god, I'm starving." Dick chuckled, "I was going to cook but I thought I'd wait for you, it's no fun cooking for one." He just didn't start because he didn't know when Slade would be home, "How does spinach mushroom Gnochi sound?"

"It sounds fantastic, but, I was thinking of taking you out to dinner." Slade was down to the very base of his suit. He pulled off the top first, then rolled down the bottoms until he was just in a pair of compression shorts. "I can be ready in twenty minutes ... What do you say?"

Dick was caught off guard but it didn't take long for a little smile to spread across his features. 

"Okay... That sounds nice." He stated before leaving the room to get dressed. 

He wasn't entirely sure what attire to wear so he went with a nice pair of black jeans and a nice v-neck shirt. He even went the extra mile to put on a spritz of cologne and styled his hair slightly. He didn't want to be too presumptuous but... He couldn't deny the faint feeling of butterflies or his racing heart. It wasn't overwhelmingly strong but it was present enough for Dick to know that he didn't just see Slade as a friend. He didn't know if he had feelings or if he just liked the attention but he figured he'd enjoy it while he could.

Slade walked out of his bedroom in a long sleeve black shirt, the arms pushed up 3/4th of the way to expose his shapely forearms. It was just tight enough to tell he was fit and muscular underneath, but not excessively so. He wore a pair of dark wash jeans and a black metal watch he was clipping into place as he walked. His hair was slicked back, beard trimmed, the smell of bourbon and sandalwood following him through the house.

He stopped when he saw Dick and gave him an appreciative once over. "You look nice." Slade commented, moving to take his own shoes out of the closet, sitting next to Dick to lace them up. 

Dick couldn't stop himself from blatantly checking Slade out, his eyes starting up high on Slade's handsome features and slowly moving down to survey and scan the rest of his perfect body. He swore he got goosebumps at the sight alone, the smell only added to the effect and it took everything for Dick not to shiver. 

"I don't know, I think you put me to shame." 

Slade just smiled with a small huff of a laugh. Slade was a DILF, or a GILF now, but ... Dick was an absolute God. 

"So, I can either take you somewhere as a surprise, or you can choose. Either way, it'll be my treat."

"I like surprises. It's actually fun seeing what you know about me." He stood up once their shoes were on and offered a hand out to Slade.

"I can think of a few places." Slade said, taking Dick's hand and pulling himself up. 

He let himself stay in Dick's personal space for a moment before giving his hand a small squeeze. Dick's eyes were locked onto Slade's, he could feel his heart rate increase as he stared into beautiful blue before he looked away with a small bashful smile.

The interaction was over as soon as it began, Slade moving over to grab the keys to one of his cars before changing his mind. He grabbed another key, then walked over to the closet. He pulled out two motorcycle helmets, throwing one to Dick. 

"We'll take the bike tonight."

"What are you? My personal prince charming?" Dick teased. He hadn't been on a bike before or... Hasn't been since his accident but the thought thrilled him.

He followed Slade to the elevator and out to the motorcycles where he put the helmet on before climbing on behind Slade, wrapping his arms around those godlike muscles. He couldn't resist smiling. That smile only grew more once the bike sped off. 

Slade didn't drive slow or careful. He took the turns and speed in a way that would cause feelings of thrill and excitement. When Dick relaxed and tipped back though, Slade did ride with a bit more tact. All the while wishing he could see Dick's face. 

Once they got to the restaurant Dick took off his helmet and fixed his hair before looking at Slade, leaning forward to hug him. 

"Indian? You'll have to give me a couple recommendations." He said before he let go and got off, setting the helmet down in the appropriate spot before heading inside. 

The restaurant was fancier than he expected and only made the butterflies in his stomach intensify. Why was he feeling this way? He didn't love Slade.

"I'll order for you. If you trust me that is. I know what you like." He did. They came here often before.

Slade pushed a hand through his hair to fix it from the ride and shrugged off his jacket. He took Dick's from him next and let the hostess sit them down at a table with more privacy at the back of the restaurant. Slade went so far as to pull Dick's chair out for him as they went to sit down.

"So chivalry was a thing in the age of dinosaurs, I'm impressed." Dick teased before sitting down but the faint hue of red on his face and the fond smile showed that he liked it.

If he was even slightly aware of his own feelings he may have even insisted Slade sit beside him so he could get in more physical contact. 

"Rude brat. Respect your elders." Slade replied with a smirk.

As the menus were passed out, Dick humored it and looked through the list of food before scoping out the drinks once the waitress asked what they wanted. First he tried finding alcoholic beverages out of habit but seeing that they didn't have any was... A relief. Sometimes I was hard to have quit.

"I'll just have water, please." 

"Water for me as well." Slade wouldn't have ordered alcohol even if they did serve it. "Then we'll have the methi Chicken, vegetable biryani, butter curry, and start off with chaat samosas. No rush." 

Slade went ahead and gave her some cash ahead of time, per the usual. He'd tip after the meal as well, but, tipping before ensured a good experience from beginning to end. 

"So... What enticed you to take a handsome mess out to a place like this?"

"I like taking handsome men out on dates. Though, we don't have to call it that." Slade didn't want to put any pressure. He was okay with things being casual. 

"Besides, I like your company. It's easy to be around you. Natural even."

Dicks body shifted at the direct mention of a date. He had a hard time staying still in general, not to mention when he was excited. He spoke with his body, his expressions. It was just part of him being Dick Grayson. He kept his eyes low on the table for a moment before looking back up at Slade, meeting him with a smile.

"That's fair... It's.. Pretty easy being around you when I'm not lost in my own head.. I don't feel like I have to pretend." 

He didn't feel the pressure of being who he was or being a disappointment. It was like Slade just accepted him for who he was. "Tell me about our  _ very  _ first date. I want to know all of your tricks."

"That's a long story." Slade said, looking as though he was thinking the whole thing over. "Well ... Let me start by saying that when we first met you hated me." Slade let out a little chuckle at the thought. "I gave your little Titan group  _ hell _ . I had contract after contract from people to mess with you all, and sometimes I just did it for fun." That was something he never even told the 'past' Dick. 

"Then, you had to leave and become Batman for a while. Even longer story." Slade waved it off. "After that you settled back in Bludhaven and we crossed paths again but things were ... Different. There was more flirting, suggestive comments, touching. Then every time we would part you'd say, 'See you soon' or something else that would imply you  _ liked _ having me around." 

Slade smiled at that. 

"After a while we started fooling around. It was just sex at first, or at least I thought so. But then you said you loved me. It downright scared the shit out of me."

At the time Slade had shut Dick down, told him how wrong he was, that he didn't love Slade. As always though, Dick persisted. 

"Finally, I decided I'd take you out on a date. It was the worst date I've ever been on." Slade laughed again. "You worked a long shift at the police department and fell asleep in the car on the way to the restaurant, snoring louder than a freight train. Then when we got there it was pouring rain and we both got soaked by a passing car going through a puddle."

"We went to dinner soaking wet and the man waiting on us was horrible. Forgot everything, dropped our food all over our table. You insisted I still gave him a huge tip afterwards even though you got ice cream all over your already ruined clothing."

"Then, the icing on the cake was my car's tire shredding on the way back from the restaurant. So you and I were sitting outside, pouring rain still, changing my tire out. You just started singing, saying that if nothing could go right at least you could serenade me."

"We went back to my place. Showered and both changed into my clothes to sit in front of the fire. You fell asleep cuddled against my chest and ... I remember thinking in that moment that ... 'Damn it, I love this kid'. Gods know it was all over from there."

Dick had the largest smile spread across his lips. "Wow... I don't know how a shitty date could sound so romantic." He chuckled before leaning back in his seat, "From what I hear we bring out the best in each other..." He paused, "Don't worry though, I'm sure this 'first date' will go a lot smoother." 

Maybe he didn't remember loving Slade... Maybe he wasn't even sure if he did love him now but ... He wanted this... Slade's attention was nice to have on him and while it wasn't fair to play with the others feelings he was... Exploring. 

"I know things are different... That I don't remember how I felt or spending all that time with you but... I'm not unwilling to try again, I just ask that there's no expectations."

"I don't have any expectations of you." Slade answered honestly. "I guess the only thing I do expect is for you to do what makes you happy. Whatever that might be." Slade reached across the table and held Dick's hand, squeezing it lightly. "When I came back into your life it was never with the expectation for you to be my fiance again. I care about you and if you'll have me in your life at all ... Well, I'm grateful for it."

Dick smiled and squeezed Slade's hand, "I.... Really appreciate that... More than I can express... With you I don't feel like there's any pressure and it's just... Nice." He smiled, his heart racing a little faster. 

He withdrew his hand as the food came and thanked the waitress before she went on her way. He then took a bite of his food and purred at the flavor, closing his eyes. "My God..." He said around a mouthful of food. "I get his Every time? Here" he was quick to offer a spoonful to Slade, it just felt natural.

Slade leaned forward and tasted it just as naturally, leaning back and enjoying the flavor. "Delicious." Slade commented, scooping out a spoonful of his own and holding it out for Dick to try. "You'll like this too ... Actually you introduced me to it." 

Dick happily took the bite of food before sinking back into his seat with a loud purr, "My God... I could die happily eating all of this."

Slade and Dick ate, talked about food, then discussed their likes and dislikes. Or more so Slade explained what he liked and let Dick guess at his own preferences.

Once they were getting towards the end of their meal Slade was full and enjoying Dick's company. Even though this wasn't 'his Dick' it was nice. It reminded him a lot of when they first started dating, when things were more fresh and tentative. 

Towards the end of the night Dick had a look in his eyes that he used to have for Slade before the accident. It was a look full of admiration and love and... Dick couldn't deny the warm feeling in his stomach, the excitement of thinking about being close to Slade. Still, he denied what those feelings meant because... It scared him. If Slade took in his love and learned that Dick was different... If Dick hurt him... Then Slade would leave him. He couldn't handle that pain right now, he just started healing from the pain he's been in. 

"If you're interested, I'd like to take you out to do one more thing before we go back to the apartment."

"Oh? More surprises? I could get used to this." He smiled before letting Slade pay and heading back out to the bike, his body swayed close to Slade's and he almost held his hand...  _ Almost _

Slade seemed to sense it,though, so he reached down to hold Dick's hand himself, which he also used to pull Dick away from the bike. "Actually, we are going to walk." 

"So, this might be an intimidating question for you, but ... Have you started to think about what you want to do? As far as profession, living situations, life." Slade paused and then added. "You're welcomed to stay with me as long as you want to. Like I've said before: our homes together are as much yours as they are mine."

The question somewhat caught Dick off guard and momentarily he felt a rush of anger run through his body. It was the same anger he had tortured everyone with for months. The anger that nearly got him killed. He took a deep breath and squeezed Slade's hand, refocusing his emotions. 

"Well... No.. Not really... When I first came to I wanted to be a doctor, go to school but ... The more I think about it the less ... Right it feels... Bruce just got me a job with his company so... I have that going." Dick said with a shrug before sighing, "Part of me wants to get out of this city... I can't explain it, I just want to  _ move _ ." The emphasis on the word gave it so many meanings. His body. His home. Everything. But he didn't have a destination.

"It's alright not to have a solid plan yet. It's only been a few months since your accident. Right now? I wouldn't make any major life altering decisions. Give your brain time to heal." Slade spoke in a way that was empathetic, but not at all preachy. He really did just want Dick to be successful in what he wanted to do. 

"I mean, the judge did say I wasn't allowed to make my own choices... My shrink seems to think the same thing." 

He said with a sigh, he just wanted to have control over his life again but... He knew for the time being it was best not to. It was hard not guzzling a bottle of booze every night, and even harder to keep his hands off a cigarette. Speaking of.

. "Can I have my smoke for the day?" 

"Sure." Slade slipped a cigarette out of his pocket and put it in his own mouth lighting it, taking a drag before handing it back over to Dick. "Here." 

"We ... I have a few other houses around the country... World actually. So if you ever need a break, just let me know. I don't know if you remember, but, I have my own jet too." 

Was he showing off? Maybe a little bit. He worked hard for his money and spoiling Dick was one of his favorite things to do. The kid was worth all the money in the world to Slade.

"Actually ..." Slade paused and smiled. "I have a special house in Wisconsin where I grew up. It's a farm actually. We could spend a weekend there. Get out of Gotham, I'll invite my kids. Hopefully Joey can convince Adam to come and for Rose to bring Eddie. He's good for her she's just too stubborn to realize it. Very much my daughter." 

Slade didn't usually talk this much around Dick, at least not recently. However, it was as though he'd loosened up a little, felt more comfortable to talk about things that were deeply personal to him. 

"Also, I can introduce you to an old friend of yours."

Dick listened and seemed to relax at the suggestion of escaping the city, "I would actually love to get away from the city for a bit... The smell of gas and pollution is killing me." He stated before pausing, "Your kids are nice... It could be fun having them all out there... I don't know how I feel about seeing a friend though, that always seems to end in disappointment." He sighed softly. Maybe that was his problem. He wanted to push everyone away so they wouldn't get disappointed and leave on their own accord.

"I'll call them tomorrow and set something up for this weekend. Something easy and relaxed." Slade wanted Dick to feel comfortable and knew that if things were too planned or structured it would immediately make him feel the opposite way. 

"Here's the place." Slade stopped in front of a tall building with a Wayne emblem at the top of it. 

"My first day isn't for another week."

"Bare with me here." Slade opened the door and offered for Dick to go in first. The man at the front desk went to get up, and then saw Dick and nodded his head. 

"Welcome in Mr. Grayson ... Mr. Wilson." 

"We need to go up to the top floor." 

"Of course I'll unlock the elevator." The man clicked a couple buttons on his keyboard, the doors opening for them. "It's windy up there."

"Perfect." Slade said with a small smile, taking Dick's hand. "Come on handsome." 

"The more I get to know you... The stranger you become." Not that Dick seemed to mind, it kept him on his toes. Broke apart his opportunity to make assumptions and put himself in a sour mood... Which... His therapist gave him medicine to help with. 

"I think that was my line to you at some point." Slade commented as they went up the elevator.

Once they made it to the roof, Dick let go of Slades hand and approached the edge, staying about 4 feet away. "Wow.... This city is a lot bigger than it feels like." He said as he overlooked the miles of City lights that spanned like an ocean. "It's... Beautiful somehow."

"I never really thought Gotham was beautiful before I met you. I found it dark, depressing ... And your father lives here." Obviously a negative. "You changed my mind though. You'd tell me stories about the architecture, about your Robin days learning to swing from rooftop to rooftop."

Dick closed his eyes as Slade spoke, trying to imagine... No.. remember such days. Days spent telling the other about his adventures ... He tried remembering those adventures but frowned as they came short.

Slade then stepped up onto the ledge literally one wrong step from falling dozens of stories to hard concrete below. "You also taught me how to fly through this city." He bent over and reached a hand out to Dick. "Do you trust me?"

When Dick opened his eyes, Slade was on the ledge. Concern filled his expression briefly before he breathed out. "You ask that a lot... It's not a fair question." 

He stepped forward and took Slades hand before stepping onto the ledge. One look down and he was in vertigo city. His grip tightened on Slades hand and his eyes wondered before slowly returning to Slade where his grip finally eased. "Why do I get the feeling we're going to jump?'

"Probably because we are." Slade said with a wicked grin on his face, pulling an arm tight around Dick's waist before stepping off the edge of the building carrying Dick down with him. 

Dick couldn't stop the sharp gasp that escaped his lungs as they plummeted towards the earth. Initially, his grip tightened around Slades shoulders. He closed his eyes as the wind pushed through his hair and he anticipated the crash landing.

They fell for what seemed like forever, when realistically it was only a few seconds. The cold Gotham air ripped through them, stealing every last ounce of body heat between them. It was a feeling unlike anything else. 

They fell a dozen stories before the sound of a grapple being shot rung out next to them. The trajectory swiftly changed, they still moved down, but were now arching towards the building across the street from Wayne tower. 

The entire time Slade kept a firm grip on Dick, holding him close to his body. Dick looked up watching the sights fly passed them. A large smile slowly spread across his face as he pressed his forehead against Slades neck. He inhaled deeply taking in the others scent. His arms went somewhat slack but he held on firmly, his leg hooked around Slades waist. 

Silence filled the space before Dick snuggled closer to the other, "This is..." He exhaled blissfully before leaning back slightly, just enough to look up at Slade. "It feels like I'm flying." His eyes closed and he leaned back further, enjoying the freeing sensation. For once.... He felt like everything would be okay.

Slade let the grapple go on the first building and aimed it for a gargoyle on a cathedral next door. They took a sharp turn, nearly going sideways as they dragged towards it. This time Slade let them reel in fully, swinging with enough momentum to land them on the top of the roof. It wasn't exactly the most graceful of landings. Slade had to make a few quick steps and adjustments to keep them from falling off the side, but they made it. 

Slade looked like he was about to say something as he turned back to Dick, hair windswept, cheeks a little pink from the cold air. Whatever words he had left him, replacing them with actions instead. 

He pulled Dick in close again and kissed him. It wasn't like any other kiss they had shared up to this point, it was raw, unreserved, filled with passion and love. It was the kind of kiss two lovers shared after a long time being apart. One where lips moved to mesh perfectly the other's that they knew better than their own.

Dick wasn't expecting to be kissed, he had just processed that his feet had hit the ground and his brain was rushing with endorphins. But the moment their lips connected Dicks body just reacted. He stepped closer, arms moving to wrap around Slades shoulders as he stood on his toes to make up for some of the distance. 

His head was spinning and his heart was pounding hard in his ears, he couldn't understand this powerful reaction and he didn't care to. He didn't know how long the kiss landed, what he did know was that he needed air and his legs felt weak beneath him. Slowly he pulled away, eyes fixed on the others, the pink hue on his face spread and darker. He could feel himself sinking and was grateful for the others hands on him to keep him from hitting the ground. 

"Wow." He breathed out before chuckling and burying his face in Slade's chest. He didn't know how to explain these sensations outside of his bodily reactions. "I feel dizzy."

Slade just smiled a little, rubbing his hand along Dick's back. "Give yourself a minute to steady your body ... After that, I think you should give the grapple a try."

Slade waited just for that before going over the basics of the grapple. Of course, Dick took to it like a fish to water. His body remembered things his mind didn't and Dick's body would never forget how to fly. It was quite literally in his blood. Beyond Batman and his training. No one flew quite like Nightwing. 

Finally their feet found the street again. It was a short bike ride home, the apartment waiting for them like a warm hug, the fireplace already roaring when they entered. Slade made them both a cup of tea and handed Dick his at the counter top.

It was late, really late. Yet there was this awkward air between the two of them, this uncertainty about where the night would lead from here. Or rather, Slade was being overly cautious. 

"So ..." Slade started after a sip of his tea. "How did I do for a first date?"

Dick smiled softly as he stared down into his cup before taking a sip, "Mm... I'd give it a 2 outta ten." He teased with a mischievous little smile before shaking his head. "I think that was the best first date of my life ... I hope there's more like it." Of course he hoped this wouldn't be the last time. He may not have remembered loving him but there was something there. Something he wanted to explore. 

"But next time I'm taking you out." He poked the other before sipping his tea. 

He wondered if he should invite the other to bed but then he remembered this was their  _ first  _ date.... He needed to take it slow. He finished drinking his tea in silence before putting his mug in the dishwasher, he then stepped forward and stood on his toes to kiss the other’s cheek however after falling short he opted to kiss Slades shoulder instead.

"I'm going to head to bed..... Thank you for tonight." He smiled tenderly and gave Slades arm a squeeze. Should he have hugged him? He hesitated before stepping back. "Goodnight..." With that he vanished into the bedroom. 

Once he was behind closed doors he felt his smile grow, heat build in his body. He shook his head before stripping down to his underwear and flopping on the bed. He closed his eyes recalling the hours that weren't so long ago before slowly slipping a hand into his boxers. The thrill that buzzed through him was too intense to ignore and only felt hotter with each stroke. The thought of Slade’s hands on his body, the memories of their one night stands only adding to the erotic senstion of Dick pleasing himself but the fantasies were different. They were fueled with passion and electricity. It got him off embarrassingly quick.

He thought he'd be able to fall asleep once he finished but he was wrong. He tossed and turned for hours though it wasn't until 4am when he sat up. He let out a heavy sigh and slipped out of bed before heading down the hall. He lifted his hand to knock but stopped himself and laid his palm flat on the door. It took him a minute to work up the courage to just open the door before he quietly slipped inside and made his way to Slades bed. He crawled in behind him, his eyes feeling heavier than before the moment his body was wrapped in the warmth of the blanket and he felt Slades pillow under his head. His body pushed its way closer to Slade and before he knew it, he was fading to sleep.

Slade stirred the moment Dick opened the door. He opened his eye to look towards Dick, but instead felt him up against his back the next second. 

Dick's breathing evened out, a clear sign to Slade that the other had fallen asleep. He turned carefully in the other's hold, one arm going under the pillow and Dick's head the other going around his waist to keep him close. 

"I thought I lost you." Slade said soft enough to himself that it shouldn't stir Dick. "I'm never letting go of you again."


	7. The end!

They were on the farm and Dick's heart was racing. He was excited to be experiencing this side of Slade's life. He wasn't necessarily official with Slade but they had been dating. Dick took Slade out a couple times and had gotten in the habit of sleeping in Slade's bed. Despite all this they still fought occasionally, mostly over small things that had Dick's temper get the best of him. They were more intense then their original fights however, Dick having a new habit of shoving and pushing which wasn't exactly uncharacteristic but he normally didn't get to that point unless they were both screaming in each other's faces over someone Slade killed or Dick almost getting himself killed. These days it was over a cup in the sink. But with Slade's help, Dick was learning how to manage his anger.

"Wow... This place is beautiful."

He chuckled and took the mini tour around the farm before entering the farm house and working to unpack his stuff. As he returned downstairs he could see that the rest of the family arrived. Adam was sorting the shoes, Rose was talking to some red demon looking dude and Slade was holding his grandbaby. 

"You're looking lovely." Adam said to Dick who smiled.

"Thanks, Slade's been keeping me fed and walked." He teased.

Rose rolled her eyes, "He's good at that... This is Eddie." She introduced. "And this is Dick, he's the guy I almost casterated for making a rude comment about my baby."

Dick gave a bashful smile, "Yeah... I've been... An asshole."

"Asshole is a little bit of an understatement." Slade teased from the other side of the room. He then looked down at Sophie in his lap and shook his head, "You didn't hear that word." He said in a near whisper.

Eddie raised an eyebrow at Rose and looked back to Dick, "She gets her looks from her father. Though, fortunately, she's beautiful like her mother." 

Eddie looked over to where Slade was playing with Sophia and gave a small smile. "It's nice to meet you ... Again. We weren't very acquainted before your accident, so there isn't much for us to catch up on." 

Eddie knew Nightwing, the leader of the Titans ... The guy who yelled at him for throwing a party in Titan's tower. Worth every second though. 

At this point he'd call it even. 

"Dick is here?" Came from up the stairs. "Also did I hear Eddie?" It was Joseph, halfway down the stairs. He'd been napping. "I'll be down in a sec!"

"Your family seems awfully excited that I'm here." Eddie said, looking over at Rose.

"We are." Slade confirmed.

Rose rolled her eyes, "Daddy was pretty miffed when I excluded you from a family dinner. He's scared you'll be the one who gets away."

"At least he approves of Edward, your father isn't easy to win over." Adam chimed in.

Dick smiled tenderly, "Well, it's about dinner time. I was thinking I could take a crack at cooking."

"Uh oh."

"Oh shut up, I may not remember how to but I can follow a recipe." Dick defended.

"What are you making?" Rose asked.

"Dick's cooking?" Joey asked as he came down the stairs. 

"Spaghetti, Joey I was wondering if you could help me."

"Lord help us all." Adam sighed.

Joey nudged an elbow into Adam's side. "I've gotten better! I can boil water and stir things, you've taught me at least that much." 

Joey knew 'microwave cuisine' which appalled Adam. Needless to say, Adam did most of the cooking in the household.

"I would be honored to help you." Joey said before moving to follow Dick into the kitchen. 

  
  
  
  


"... So when you said you were bringing me on a family outing it was because of your family?" Eddie asked once the room settled down. 

"Also because she likes you." Slade offered, watching Sophia make grabby hands at Adam who gave her a finger to play with rather than hold her.

"Even if she won't admit it." 

"Ooo, you have a crush on me?" Eddie teased, bumping his shoulder into Rose's.

Rose rolled his eyes and worked on braiding her hair, "Of course not, you're only the father of my child." Her tone was laced with sarcasm as she shot her father a death glare. "I've had this conversation with my dad. Things have been too complicated for me to figure out what role I want you to play in my life."

"Until he's between your legs, then you have a pretty good idea." 

"You're just jealous that you can't have him." Rose shot back before she sat beside Eddie and put a hand on his thigh, "We're going on a date later this week." 

This wasn't a conversation she had with Eddie but that didn't stop her from speaking of it as though it were a previous discussion.

"We are?" Eddie responded, though he sounded more excited than questioning. "I'll make sure to take you somewhere nice then." 

Eddie did love Rose, it was obvious by the way he looked at her, like she was the only thing in the room that mattered. To him, she was. 

"I guess we will need a babysitter." 

"I'll take her for the night. You can come pick her up the next morning." Slade offered right away, giving Sohpia to Adam so he didn't have a choice. 

She was pulling herself towards him anyway. Besides, Slade wanted to see how Adam would do with the child.

"Wow, daddy, soon enough you'll be helping Eddie pick out an engagement ring and picking out my white dress." Again, her tone was sarcastic but.... She sighed, "I was thinking about trying again... At least for Sophia's sake. It's been hard for her not having her dad around and ... Well, I've missed you." 

Sure she's said that the last time they broke up... And the time before that... And the 8 times before that, but she kept coming back to him, kept flirting, kept holding on. She wondered if this was love. 

Adam shot Slade a glare as Sophia instantly went for his glasses, he was quick to move them off of his face and out of reach.

"No." 

His tone was neutral, not stern, not low, just neutral. Sophia stopped and plopped in his lap as he replaced his glasses and squeezed her hands earning a large smile.

"Good baby." Sophia then giggled.

"She's not a dog."

"You train them like one." Adam said as he pat the child's head.

Rose arched a brow, "Don't have kids... You and Joey will fuck them up."

"Wow... And I thought I was a cock."

"Co-cka!" Sophia beamed

"Adam!"

"Oops."

  
  
  
  


In the kitchen, Dick worked on gathering the materials, silent for a long while before looking to Joey. "Can I ask you something?" He asked with a brief pause, "Someone said you can see into people's heads... Their memories.. That you can bring them out. I... I want to remember your dad. I want to remember the love I had for him... I need to know if this is real."

"So, you didn't actually want my help with cooking ... Probably for the best honestly." Joey said with some relief. 

Adam would never let him live it down if he burnt dinner, and it was nearly a 100% possibility that he would. 

"Let me say something before we have this conversation." Joey looked over at Dick, he needed his full attention. "A mind isn't like a file cabinet I can reach into and pull out an exact memory or feeling. It's a little more complicated than that ... But I can access memories with a general understanding of what you are looking for. However, you can't remember so that might be a little more difficult still."

Usually people wanted Joey to find exact memories that were fuzzy to them or that they needed to see more clearly. He rarely was going in completely blind. 

"The other thing is ... Your brain has been injured. It's a possibility that you don't have those memories anymore. With all that said ... Do you still want to remember?"

Dick was silent for a moment as he thought over Joey's words before sighing. "I know.... I know these things may be gone forever but... I've been getting glimpses, or dreams... I think they're memories... I vaguely remember him proposing, our first time... I don't... See it but it's like I can feel memories of our fights. I want to remember all of it."

Dick moved away from the stove and stood in front of Joey, "I want to focus on remembering Slade but I also want to remember my family... Friends.... I... I want my life back. I want to remember what I used to fight for. I don't have a sense of direction. It's like... Something's feel right like becoming a doctor but something's missing."

"Alright." Joey said with an understanding look. "I want to help. I think we should talk to Adam, just to make sure that things are done right. He can monitor, make suggestions." 

Joey then put out his hands, palms up. "But if you want, I can show you something now."

Dick nodded, a small smile on his lips as he reached and took Joey's hands. Joseph closed his eyes and concentrated, trying to find a specific memory that he remembered as well.

It opened up on a beach, lake Michigan. Dick and Joey were sitting on the porch of a beautiful beach house overlooking the lake. The sun was high in the sky, the waves lapping lazily onto the sand. 

"Again!"

Screamed a little girl from the water who was laughing like crazy. Slade was standing out in the lake with Lian, picking her up and throwing her into deeper water. Everytime she got up from the water she'd swim right back over to Slade for more. 

Slade was wearing sunglasses instead of his regular patch. Aviator in style. Soon Slade was emerging from the water, Lian ahead of him and moving over to help Damian with a sand castle he was starting in the sand. 

"He's such a DILF ..." Dick said with a sigh. "Later I'm going to-"

"Gross that's my Dad." Joey said, Dick just laughed. 

"Having fun up here it sounds like." Slade said, approaching Dick leaning down to give him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Just watching you ... It's like a sexy episode of baywatch." 

"I was enjoying the view from my vantage point as well." Slade flirted back.

"Get a room." Joey said, Slade let out a deep chuckle. 

  
  


The memories faded into a bright white, fading into the view of their living room.

"You killed five people!" Dick yelled, "In  _ my _ city! You promised you wouldn't do that, Slade!"

"I told you I'm not compromising my profession for you." Slade said, "Your self absorbed pious attitude isn't going to stop me from doing my job."

Dick came forward and pushed Slade, the words faded out, yet it was clear they were still fighting.

The screams were replaced by moans. The feelings of heat and pleasure mixed with anger and passion. 

"I'm sorry." Slade said, laying on his back, Dick's head on his chest. Both of them were naked under the sheets.

"Me too." Dick responded softly, cuddling closer. "I love you."

"I love you too."

  
  


Another flash of white.

"No one has ever made me feel the way you do. You bring out the best in me and have made me happier than I've ever been." Slade was down in front of Dick on one knee. "There is not a single doubt in my mind that you are the man I want to spend the rest of my life with." Slade pulled out a ring from his pocket and showed Dick, holding his hand. "Richard John Grayson ... Will you marry me?"

Flash.

"Kid where are you? You need to get out of the building it's filling up with smoke ... Kid?" Slade's voice rang in Dick's ear.

The room was filled with smoke, his lungs aching as consciousness moved in and out. There was a little girl with him.

Next thing he knew strong arms were around him, he was thrown over a shoulder and taken out of the building. Fresh air hit his lungs and he immediately started coughing. He was laid down on the ground.

"Here take the girl." There were flashing lights. Paramedics.

"What about Nightwing?"

"I have it handled." Slade appeared over the top of Dick and was soon on the ground next to him. "Get it out." A mask was placed over his face. "Take some deep breaths for me." 

  
  
  


Joey was able to rip himself out of the cascade of memories Dick had pulled him under. It happened occasionally, but it was too much. Far too much. Joey's head was swimming, blood trickled down from his nose. 

However Dick was in worse shape.

"DAD! ADAM!"

Blood was leaking from Dick’s nose and his body was convulsing on the floor. Adam was quick to the kitchen, having Sophia hoisted up on his shoulder. He set her on the ground beside Dick before he crouched down and rolled Dick over to his side so he wouldn't choke on his spit and blood. Slade let Adam manage Dick simply because he was calm enough to handle it.

"What happened?" Adam asked, his tone surprisingly even as he gave Dick space to finish convulsing. As the seizing ceased, Adam grabbed something to clean off his face. "Elevate his chest." Adam ordered to Slade before getting up to get the first aid kit.

Slade nodded when Adam gave him instructions and pulled Dick's torso off the floor and held him on his lap. 

"I'm sorry..." 

Joey was holding his sweater against his nose to keep the blood from dripping on the floor. He wasn't looking hot himself, but he was more concerned about Dick.

"What happened?" Slade asked again. He didn't sound angry, but more so probing for answers.

"Dick he ... He asked if I could show him some of his memories. I just wanted to show him one and then he just pulled me under." Joey shook his head as tears pricked at his eyes. "I couldn't stop them, I'm so sorry, Dad, I had no idea this would happen."

Adam returned passing some gauze to Joey to stop his bloody nose. "Such a thing should've happened in a controlled environment." He didn't hesitate to point out before checking Joey's pupils, "Go sit."

Joey nodded and got out of the way, going to sit at the smaller table in the kitchen.    
  


Adam crouched beside Dick and measured his pulse before checking his pupils as well. "He's alright... He's just gonna have one hell of a headache." He sighed and sat back, "Hopefully anyways. I doubt he'll be suffering from any permanent damage."

Dick groaned in Slades embrace, his breathing evening out as his body fully relaxed. "You should get him to bed." Adam stood up and turned to Joey before tilting his chin up. Sophia crawled towards Slade and babbled before trying to crawl into Dick's lap.

"I'll get him to bed upstairs." Slade smiled a little despite the situation. "Yeah, uncle Dick isn't looking so good is he?" Slade spoke softly and bringing Dick into his arms with Sophia perched on his chest. 

He walked them out to the living room where Slade had Eddie take Sophia off their hands. 

"What happened?" Eddie asked as the girl began immediately playing with her Dad's hair. 

"I'll have to explain later." 

Slade went upstairs and put Dick on the bed, tucking him into the sheets and making sure he was on his side and slightly elevated. Slade didn't hesitate to lay down in the bed next to Dick, running a hand through his hair.

"You'll be okay kid, I'm not going anywhere."

  
  
  
  
  


"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay ... I'm more worried about Dick." Joey admitted, letting Adam examine him without resistance. "I know I should have waited. He was just so excited and I wasn't thinking ..." Joey felt guilty, and it was clear as day all over his features. "We've just been doing so well working on my powers, controlling them that I thought I could handle it. I didn't expect him to pull like that ... He just wanted more and before I knew it we were tumbling out of control." Joey's head was swimming just thinking about it. He was feeling a little light headed too. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." Adam said with a sigh, his tone less than sympathetic however he paused and let out a breath. "I understand that it wasn't your intention to hurt him, we all know it and honestly? If it wasn't Dick then you may have been successful. But Dick has always felt intensely, it should be no surprise that he overtook you especially since you weren't expecting it." Adams gaze shifted towards the stairs before back to Joey. "We'll check on him later. I'm sure he'll be fine." 

Joey deserved the scolding, but it didn't keep him from looking like a kicked puppy the entire time. "I know." 

He pulled Joey into his arms and gave him a tight and reassuring squeeze.

"I'll have to apologize to my Dad." Joey said as a passing thought. "You two can take turns kicking my ass if you want to." He joked just to get some of the tension out of the air. "Though, I wouldn't mind a spanking from you." Joey often turned to flirting when things were intense, it was just natural to him, though sometimes inappropriate.

Adam couldn't help but to roll his eyes before pecking Joey's lips, "I'll make a point to punish you later."

  
  


Spaghetti was done within a matter of minutes, Rose and Eddie went out before dinner and left Joey and Adam to take care of Sophia. Adam was like a child playing with a puppy for the first time, unsure and almost awkward but it didn't matter to the young child who thrived under his attention.

Upstairs, Dick began coming to. A soft groan escaped him and he turned half way onto his back, feeling Slade behind him. His head throbbed and many memories swirled in his brain causing his eyes to tear up. Still, he swallowed it down and turned towards Slade, looking into his eyes.    
  
"I remember.." He spoke quietly and softly, "I remember falling in love with you.... Kind of.. I don't... Have the images but I remember the feeling..... I've seen how we would fight... Felt how intense we were together." He paused, "I had some doubt.... I've been scared that I don't really love you but.... Now I know that I do and I want to do the work to get us back to where we were." He looked away. "I want to marry you..... And... I know I need to work on my anger still and... Pursue something. I want to maybe try going out as a superhero with you..." Dick looked back up, "I want to try to restore us."

"I ... What?" Slade sounded flabbergasted, blinking. "Hang on a second, Dick, I need to get ...."    
  
There weren't really any words, nothing he could say to express how he was feeling. He pushed himself up onto his elbows. Slade moved over Dick and kissed him. Slade felt this spark, one he always felt when he kissed Dick, the man he loved more than life itself.

Dick pushed into the kiss, his hand moving to rest on the back of Slades neck as he did so. For the first time in  _ months _ Dick kissed Slade the way he used to. A kiss that showed nothing but love and compassion. One that held passion in it regardless of how sensual and sexual it got. It was a kiss filled with emotion. 

"I'll be here for you like I have been." Slade rubbed a thumb over Dick's cheek. "I'm... Ready to start our life together."

Dick let his forehead rest against Slades as he brushed his fingers through his hair, "I know I'm not... Supposed to make any major decisions but I would like to marry you sooner rather than later... I know it's a huge leap considering everything that needs to be done but... I don't want to imagine life without you and I don't want to lose the opportunity. I almost did twice now."

Slade looked surprised, then contemplative. "I don't want to rush into this. We can still do it, but this is your first time getting married. I want to do it right for you." Slade had promised Dick a dream wedding and he had every intention of delivering just that. "And a honeymoon of course ... I think we both need a long vacation." 

"At this point what's right is getting the chance to say 'I do.'" Dick countered.    
  
Unlike his former self he wasn't bent on having a perfect dream wedding. Before it was all he talked about. What the colors would be, who would show, where they should have it, what kind of cake. He had gone into full wedding planner mode and at times was a stuck up asshole because something wasn't as perfect as he wanted it to be. Jason teased him about being a bridezilla, Barbara banned him from being able to plan her wedding, Bruce regretted suggesting it to Dick when Dick yelled at a florist for getting Selina the wrong bouquet. 

This Dick could care less. He had no memories of the hours of planning, he just knew he wanted to have Slade.

Slade reached under his shirt and pulled out a necklace he usually wore, on the end of it was his ring, the one that matched Dick's. He had been wearing it under his clothes since that day in the hospital. He always wanted something that reminded him of Dick right next to his heart.

He unstrung the ring and held it out for Dick. "I think you should be the one to put it back on."

He smiled and took the ring before slipping it back onto Slades finger. Rolling off of the bed to fetch his own ring, he paused to hold his aching head before he opened the small box he placed it in and pulled it out. He crawled over Slades lap, straddling him before handing him the ring in an even exchange.    
  
"It's weird calling you my fiance when you're still kind of a stranger.... But... I remember you."

Slade put his hands on Dick's hips, looking up at him with an absolutely loving expression. He took the ring in his hand flipping it over a few times, smiling at the feel of the metal. "It's odd, because it's been a long time since we've been strangers." Slade knew Dick from the time he'd been in scaly green panties. He never would have thought he'd be marrying that annoyingly optimistic kid. 

"We can make new memories together." Slade promised, taking Dick's hand and placing the ring on his finger before putting Dick's knuckles to his lips and kissing the ring placed there. "I'll make you love me all over again if I have to. You're worth that and more."

Dick couldn't help but to get the biggest smile on his face as he tugged Slade up so he was sitting up so he could plant a kiss to his lips. "You've already succeeded in making me fall in love with you." His thumbs ran along Slades cheek bones as he stared into his eye.

"Let me show you." He pushed his hips into Slades, "I know it's not our first time but.... We can pretend it is." 

"I like the idea of that." Slade said with a smirk.

Dick slowly pushed Slade down onto his back, his lips finding Slade’s in a loving and sensual kiss, a hand running down Slades chest groping at his peck.

He kissed Dick back slow, his hands going back to his hips. His thumbs pressed and moved down his adonis muscles then back up again to go over his amazing ass, gripping it and smiling against Dick's lips.   
  
"I missed these."   
  
He was talking about Dick's individual cheeks of course as he squeezed them. Actually, they felt even better since Dick put on a little weight. He didn't mind it on him at all. He pressed his hips into Slade’s hands, his mouth trailing down to his neck where his teeth scraped against the flesh. 

After getting his fill Slade moved up under Dick's shirt and scratched his nails up his back on either side of his spine.

Dick’s breath shook, his body shivering as it moved against Slade’s body before he sat up. Dick pulled off his own shirt before doing the same with Slade’s, his hips rolling more fluently adding pressure as he grinded against Slade. His hands ran along Slade’s chest and stomach feeling every muscle under the skin. It was enough to elicit a quiet moan before he scraped his nails against perfectly rounded abs in revenge for the marks that were sure to show on his back.    
  
"I don't know what I like more... You on top or beneath me." He smirked.

"I have to say that I struggle with the very same issue." Slade responded, rolling his hips up into Dick's, letting out a deep, bravado moan. Slade wasn't incredibly loud in bed, but Dick brought it out of him.

"Let's try things the other way." That was all the warning Slade gave Dick before rolling him onto his back. "Let me take care of you." It sounded a little more like a command rather than a suggestion. 

Slade wove a hand into Dick's hair, pulling his head to the side so he had full access to the length of Dick's neck. He kissed along the length of it, biting and sucking a trail of light hickeys to his collarbone. His mouth moved down to Dick's chest, using the point of his tongue to run firm circles into Dick's nipples. At the same time, a hand moved below to move into Dick's pants. He massaged lightly over the underwear against Dick's cock. Dick's breathing slowly grew heavier, his face flushing a dark pink. The tickle of Slade’s beard had his body twitching and soft grunts escaping his mouth. His hand was wound in Slade’s hair, softly pulling it with each squeeze over his cock, his hips pressing into Slades hand nearly desperately. 

"Mm" his eyes fluttered closed as his lips parted. 

Slade was slow, methodical. It was different from their usual sexual encounters that tended to escalate quickly and left very little time for working Dick's body like Slade was now. He continued to kiss and touch Dick all over his body. His wrists, the insides of his arms, the other side of his neck, chest and abdomen. After the thorough exploration of Dick's upper body Slade pulled down his pants and threw them off the side of the bed. 

He hooked his thumbs inside the waistband of Dick's underwear, stopping to look Dick in the eye. "Can I keep going?" Consent, Slade  _ always _ asked.

Dick’d eyes slowly opened as he looked at Slade with a lust filled lude expression. He sat up, meeting Slade halfway to kiss him slowly and sensually, a hand running up the side of Slade’s neck to hold him in place. His tongue slipped into Slade’s mouth, wiggling and exploring every inch before pulling away, a strand of saliva connecting their lips. 

"You ask that Everytime" he whispered.

Dick's hands slowly moved down Slades arms, feeling every inch of Slade’s muscular figure before finding his pants, "I want all of you, Slade... I ache for you." He began working Slades member through his pants, unbuttoning them before he began stroking him through his boxers.

There was a visible reaction Slade had to Dick's words, his hands running down his body, the way Dick  _ looked _ while doing all of it. He was always amazed by Dick as a package. Physical, mental, emotional ... All of it. He'd never met a single other person in his life that made him feel the way Dick Grayson did. 

"I love you..." He let out like a whisper, like lovers might. Like he used to with Dick  _ before _ the accident.

"I.. Love you too." He almost hesitated, he didn't know why he suddenly felt so bashful. His cheeks took on that red hue not long after the words left his mouth and before he knew it, he was on his back.

"You'll never have to ache again." It was a promise. He kissed at Dick's neck lightly as he pulled off the last of Dick's clothes, breaking away to remove them fully.   
  


He sat up on his knees between Dick's legs and just admired the view in front of him, his gaze trailing up to Dick's eyes, "Pretty bird..." He smiled, then moved down to put his chest down between Dick's legs, which were moved to lay across Slade's shoulders onto his back. It gave Slade perfect access.    
  


He kissed up the inside of Dick's thighs, hoisting him up just enough more to push Dick that much closer before he began circling his entrance with his tongue. Waiting for the right moment to start in more thoroughly.

Dick’s body tensed very briefly at the heat on his entrance but within no time he was letting out a soft whine, one hand clutching the bedding while the other moved to find Slades hand. 

"God... You're so good at this." He pant out, biting his lip in an attempt to suppress the noise, it seemed like it was easier to get a rise out of him tonight. 

As Slade’s tongue got to work, Dick's hand moved from the others to start stroking himself in time with each lick. His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed as his thighs softly trembled around Slades head

"I've had a lot of practice." Slade commented, clearly pleased by Dick's reactions.

Slade continued just a little longer before pulling back. He had Dick bend his knees and reached for the nightstand. The sound of a cap popping came next. Lube spread over Slade's fingers. He moved down, pushing one, then two into Dick. Slowly he loosened up his muscles, not rushing a single step. After a moment, a warming sensation started from the lube, furthering the comforting sensation.   
  


Dick's moaning only grew louder, the warm tingling sensation was enough to cause him to arch his back into the sheets. For fun, Slade rubbed his fingers up into Dick's prostate, massaging the area back and forth.

"Tell me when you want me."

"I want you now." He wanted to sound more husky but instead he sounded desperate. 

He shifted so that his legs were no longer on Slade's shoulders, pulling away from his grip completely before pushing Slade down and climbing on top of them. They were upside down but they didn't need pillows for this. Dick's mouth captured Slade's in a deep and slow kiss, his hand stroking the other's member before he pressed his thumb into the base of the head. Finally, Dick positioned Slade with his entrance and pushed him in. As much as he tried to resist it, his mouth fell off of Slade's as his panting grew in intensity. This felt better than the previous times, each movement eliciting a spark inside the other. 

"Slade."

Slade let out a low moan that came from deep in his chest. His eye closed as he enjoyed the sensation of Dick being filled with his cock. He wasn't able to keep up the kissing either, it just felt that good.

"Love ... You feel so good." Slade complimented, putting his hands on Dick's hips. 

He planned on helping. Slade began thrusting his hips up into Dick, letting his cock ride against the inner walls of Dick on his p-spot.

Dick couldn't help but to shiver, his heart pounding as another loud moan slipped passed his lips. He began moving his hips at a faster pace. The movement wasn't as fluid or graceful as it had been before his injury but there was still some skill behind it. His hips moved in circular motions as he beckoned Slade to go deeper and deeper with each bounce and movement. He leaned back, hands on Slades chest gripping the skin as he moaned towards the sky. He was sure everyone could hear him but he didn't care.

Slade took the ride with pleasure. Watching Dick move was always arousing, even more so when he could watch his own cock moving in and out of him. 

"Come here handsome." Slade moaned out, flipping them over until Dick was under him on his back. 

Slade pushed himself back inside of Dick before pinning down his wrists. He kissed Dick, passionate, deep. Pulling back he began thrusting into the other, giving Dick everything he had, how he knew Dick loved it after years of being his lover.

Yet, he listened to his fiance's body, because this was new. They both were different now after what happened ... But Slade never loved Dick more than he did now.

Dick's voice only grew louder and louder. His eyes closed tightly, his jaw wide open as he screamed into the air. His body was pushed as close to Slade's as possible as the overwhelming amount of pleasure completely stole his senses. He didn't fully process the moment he came, he just knew he felt a sharp tingle rush up his spine before a white light danced behind his eye lids. 

No... That was the room. His eyes were half lidded, nails bared deep into Slades back as he rode out his orgasm. He never remembered it being like this between them, and he cursed himself for the possibility of forgetting. It didn't take long for him to close the space and kiss Slade, struggling to breathe through it as he moved his hips with the other.

Slade came not long after, Dick clenching around him was enough to send him over the edge. 

Slade slowly stopped before letting up so they could both get air. Slade put a hand on the side of Dick's face and smiled, leaning down to kiss his forehead. 

"This feels like more like us." 

There was this connection that had been missing, this apprehension between them that had evaporated.

"I love you."

Dick's eyes closed, his body relaxing in the bed. "Mmm, I have to agree.... This felt... Right..." His eyes opened focusing on Slade. "For once... Everything feels right."

He closed the short distance between them to plan another delicate kiss. "I love you too."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"I never thought I'd do this again..." 

Slade was standing inside Wayne manor in front of a long mirror, adjusting the tie he was wearing.

"Yeah, but Dick is worth it." Joey said, fiddling with his own suit. "Fuck, I should have had Adam do this before he went to check on Dick." 

"Come here." Slade chuckled, turning around and fixing Joey's tie for him. "When do you think you and Adam will get married?"

" _ Dad _ ." Joey said with a roll of his eyes. 

Slade smirked.

"I just want to make sure he's taking good care of you." 

"He is. Why don't you just worry about getting married yourself and we'll worry about me later." Joey deflected, though the knock at the door caught both of their attention. 

It opened and Jason was standing there in his suit pants and white shirt, tie hanging untied under his upturned collar. 

"Alright, a couple things here..." He started, pointing behind him with his thumb. "Demon kid says he needs the rings, Lian wants her flower pedals and no one knows where it is ... Not even Tim."

"Did you ask Alfred?" Slade asked.

"Alfred is not talking to anyone until he's finished with preparations." Jason said exasperated. 

"JayJay I'm just going to take these roses apart." Lian said appearing behind him with white roses that were dripping water all over the floor.

"Where did you even get those?"

"I don't know."

"Please put them back." Jason asked, Lian sighed dramatically. "Don't get water on your dress!"

Slade chuckled a little, "I don't miss that." Actually, he kind of did. "I'll help find the flowers ... Tie troubles?" Slade said looking at the mess that was Jason Todd.

"Yeah, Alfred or Bruce always did it for me."

Slade smiled and waved him over. "I'll help you."

  
  


"Thirty minutes until show time!" Steph yelled through the manor twice, Tim cringing because he was standing right next to her. 

"Where is Dick?" Steph asked more quietly, Tim shrugged his shoulders.

Slade moved to stand in the foyer, adjusting his cuff links and looking out the french doors to the large group gathering outside. He wasn't nervous often, but right now he couldn't help but be so. There were a lot of heroes out there, some who would probably like to see him dead or worse. Now he'd be marrying the golden boy of the Justice League in front of all of them. No pressure.

Dick was pacing back and forth, he didn't think he would be so nervous, he didn't think he'd be second guessing whether or not he was ready to marry Slade but.... Could he justify it? He didn't know him too well. 

"Love, you're going to pace a hole in the floor, relax."Adam moved beside him and placed his hands on Dick's shoulders. Dick was wearing a nice light blue suit with a white shirt under it. 

"I'm trying... I just... What if this is a bad idea? I'm not who I used to be and-"

"Sh, sh, sh. First of all, you are who you've always been. You just have new habits... Second? Slade loves you... And you know, maybe it's scary now but once you see him... You'll know it's right... He has always been right for you." 

Dick sighed and nodded before looking in the mirror, fiddling with his tie. "You're right... You're right, I'm freaking out."

"Of course I'm right. I'm your therapist." Adam teased, squeezing Dick's shoulders. 

"Now... Can I trust you by yourself long enough for me to make sure everyone ready or do you need me to hold your hand so you don't wet yourself?"

Dick chuckled and rolled his eyes before playfully hitting Adam. 

"Just go." 

Adam chuckled and kissed Dick's cheek before heading out of the room. 

  
  


"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, heroes and civilians, you can go ahead and be seated." It was surprising that everyone listened to him so easily, they must not have hated him yet. "We have five minutes before the groomsmen and women make their way up." Adam said as he approached Slade. There weren't many of either but it was still an important piece.

"How's he doing?" Slade asked after Adam's announcement looking outside rather than making eye contact with Adam. "I know it's more traditional for us to see each other at the altar, but I can't imagine he's calm." 

Dick let his emotions overwhelm him at times, more so recently, so Slade felt his worry was valid. 

"Head injury or not we both know he is freaking out. How many engagements did he have before this one?" Wally asked, receiving a jab in the ribs from Babs. 

"I'm sure everything will be fine." She reassured Slade.

Five minutes passed and the groomsmen and women made their way down the aisle. Barbara and Wally on one side with Benjamin and Angelica next to him. Slade was still shocked the two of them agreed to stand next to each other without a fight breaking out.

Slade exited through the french doors soon after, walking down with purpose rather than be a show or display. Slade had done this before, this wasn't about him. This was for Dick and their relationship as a whole.

He stood at the front and looked over the crowd for the first time. He tried not to look at the faces past the first row. Joey and Rose were already seated, Sophia smiling in her adorable dress and making grabby hands at her grandpa. He just smiled at her and gave a little wave. He needed that.

Lian got cold feet just before she was to go. The usually fearless girl overwhelmed by the mass of people. Adorable. Damian walked down with her, hand in hand while she threw flowers and smiled like no tomorrow. 

  
  


The next few minutes happened faster than what Dick was ready for. He stared at the clock, he knew he was supposed to be walking down the aisle, the fact he was still in his dressing room wasn't good. There was a soft knock before Bruce opened the door, his expression calm and stoic.

"Everything alright?"

"No. I feel sick. I shouldn't have put all of this together. We should've just run off to Las Vegas and did some... Court House wedding... I don't know half the people in the room. I'm.. I'm a mess."

Bruce sighed, "Before... Your accident... You would talk about this for hours... How you didn't want everything to be big but it was how you began arranging it... You began getting excited because you saw it as sharing yourself with your friends and family.... You talk about how you changed but... That's the only thing that's different. You don't let us in as easily... This is more terrifying than it was months ago because now you don't have the certainty you did before."

Dick nodded and sighed, "No... But.... It feels right... It just doesn't make sense."

"Then stop listening to your head... Take it from me, Dick. It's listening to your heart that's gotten me out of trouble more times than I could count." He held out a hand and Dick smiled before taking it.

Seconds later he was walking down the aisle and just like Adam said.... He was struck speechless at the sight of Slade. 

As soon as Slade saw Dick all the other eyes on him melted away along with any other thoughts he had. All he could focus on was the most beautiful man in the world walking towards him. The man he was going to marry that day.

Dick smiled a little bit but by the time Bruce released him to the front of the room it had grown fully.

"Hi.." Dick spoke almost bashfully as he looked towards the floor.

"Hey there, handsome." Slade said softly, reaching out to take both of Dick's hands, smoothing his thumbs over the top of Dick's hands. "I was afraid you got cold feet for a second." He joked, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek.

Dick's face held the faint red hue, his smile only having grown wider. "I thought about running away but then I remembered your cooking." He joked back, despite the thought having actually crossed his mind. But he was here now, that was all that mattered. 

"Now, now lets not get ahead of ourselves here." Diana stepped forward on the platform, looking as radiant and beautiful as ever. The crowd laughed a little before settling down again. "Don't worry boys, I won't keep you waiting much longer."

"I don't know the order this is supposed to go in but.. Can we jump straight to vows? It's... Weird having everyone's attention on me and I wanna get it out while I still have it all fresh in my mind." 

He wasn't going to read off of a piece of paper, not the way some people did.... Okay, so maybe he left it in his pants and washed it but that didn't matter, he read the words over a million times.

Diana just smiled at Dick, "It's your wedding, you can do whatever you wish." She looked over at Slade for confirmation, he simply just nodded his head. 

It was quite obvious that Dick was welcomed to take the reigns whenever he pleased, even if usually liked to hold them. 

"Go ahead, love."

"Okay well…" 

Dick went silent, the words that had been swimming around in his head having suddenly left him. He broke eye contact and focused on the floor almost in search of the words but they only came in scattered fragments that he could barely hear over his pounding heart.

"Uh.." 

He offered Slade a bashful smile, his face flushing with embarrassment. This was not at all how he imagined this going.

"How about I start?" Slade could see the frantic look in Dick's eyes. He did remember telling Dick to write his words down before hand but that hardly mattered now. 

Slade squeezed Dick's hand reassuringly. 

"I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined I'd be standing here with you like we are now. It baffles me how two people with such different values and walks of life could come to know each other, let alone love one another."

"When we first started down this road I kept believing that our differences would eventually separate us, but you always spoke of hope and love. You showed me how to be a better man and taught me that I am more than my mask. You saw the man I wanted to be, not the one I had been. You loved me regardless." Slade squeezed Dick's hands again.

"When I thought I lost you a year ago I'd never been so scared in my life. I never thought about /truly/ losing you and now I know I never want to."

Slade lifted a hand up to the side of Dick's face and brushed a thumb along his cheekbone. "I love you Richard Grayson, more than I can express in words. So, I'll prove it to you. I'm ready to spend every moment of my life loving you because it isn't worth living without you in it."

Dick felt his eyes tear up as he listened to Slade though it wasn't only an emotional reaction. He felt it deep within his chest as though those words had been there this whole time. He could feel a completeness blooming within him as he stared into Slades eye. Eventually he broke eye contact and looked at the floor breathing out. 

"Wow... How can I possibly add to that?" He asked as he slowly looked back up. "From... What I remember between us... Things were never easy. We had to work to keep the parts moving but.... It wasn't..." He paused, "It was kinda like at the circus.. things were always busy. Always crazy. We had to work /hard/ for the show but when we were in it, the movements were smooth and beautiful. He had a lot of work but in the end things always felt like a beautiful dance."

Dick paused again, "And when I lost my memory... I lost that flame... The desire and drive. I didn't know what I was missing because I didn't remember how much ambition and passion you gave me. Based off what I read in my journal I always struggled with depression but... That seemed to fade when I had you... And... I couldn't be happier and more scared than I am now, knowing that I truly have something as amazing as this." He could feel himself getting teary eyed. Damn it. Why was his heart pounding?

Diana sat back quietly, smiling until both boys had finished. "I don't think anyone could have said it better. The love and devotion you two share for each other is boundless. If anyone has any objections ..." Her eyes were serious and voice warning. "Keep them to yourselves." Diana clearly wasn't going to let this become some sort of show.

"The rings please." 

Both bands were exchanged between them, words of promise too. 

"I'm proud to announce you two as married. You may kiss-"

Slade didn't even wait for Diana to finish her sentence before he took Dick around the waist and kissed him. 

People clapped, some cheered. Rice and flower petals came raining down from everywhere.

Slade pulled back just enough to look at Dick but still held him close. "I love you, Dick."

"I love you too."


End file.
